Ever since he came out, I've been obsessed with gay romance stories. I don't know exactly why. I mean, sure I want a boyfriend and all, but how can one person's comming out trigger this surge of emotion within me. I've been reading a lot of blogs that deal with the gay teen experience and of couples already together.
Perhaps I'm just searching for people I can relate to. Just like how people watch all those reality shows; they're therapy without the intimidating shrink and the over-priced sessions. I'm aching to email Nick and ask him about what his experiences are like or maybe Yun and ask him how he found Seun and what life's like for the both of them. But, that's a line I probably won't cross. Unless I know them from else where (be it IRL or from chatting) I won't email someone out of the blue. It just seems a bit too... rude, you know?
So, I'm stuck with no advice on how to proceed doing things. All these unknown or forgotten emotions are making my head dizzy, bombarding me moment after moment, pulling me this way and that. I've never been this unsure and scared about love since my last boyfriend and I were together. Like my friend Lauren said:"Being single's easy till you've been through a boyfriend."
Well, talking about my problems seem to have helped me. The bossa nova cd is slowly massaging the knots in my mind, and I can think calmy for a change.
The programs are working together smoothly and now I can finally work on my project. For now, it feels good to be alive.