All major projects done! Yes!! Now I can... erm, work on everything else I have to work on. But first, a quick rundown on the thoughts I had today...

First off, during Ceramics the first period of the day, I finally got my bear-and-blender "piggy" bank back after it was fired in the kiln... Bad news? All the colored slips were contaminated, so my beautiful piece of art which should have been all crimson and dark with the gore from the baby that fell in it... Well, the crimson came out pink, and in some places even green. o.0 The Mandarin orange that the main body of the blender was suppose to be came out in this ugly beige color, and the glazes had been eaten through so it wasn't smooth like it should have. Also, another classmate almost found out my deep dark secret ( yeah, right...). While I was playing around with the potter's wheel, she snuck a peek at my sketch book which contained the images of several guys who posed for me... and a few scantly clad ones I drew for fun. I had to feign her off by saying that I must have accudently swapped books with a fellow art major; somethign that happens fairly frequently.

I've just realized something. Compared to my sketches before I entered this school (besides the obvious improvements) I've turned my attention from trying to make something morbid yet highly sexual at the same time into creating soft porn images... It's time to revisit the style I had earlier this year. Of course, I have a feeling that one thing led to another led to this, and all outside factors are... well, factors in this. Mainly one big frustration of mine, and you can all guess who that is.

The rest of the day was more or less following the same, almost monotonous(sp) pattern, and although I was highly bored come time to go home, I was still drained of energy.

I've been listening to the new Jennifer Lopez cd for the past few days (along with several rounds of my favorite musicals). Her new cd is absolutely beautiful. Maybe it's because my preference happens to be in her style right now as opposed to when her first cd came out. Eerie thing is, track 11 "Secretly" applies to my current frustration/infatuation so accurately... I've been listening to that track non-stop.

After reading some things that Paul wrote about the general concept of the public blog, I've been inspired to write my own two cents about it. But when you think about it, this is a question all bloggers ultimately face. And when they do, either they become one of the many disenfranchised(sp) and quit blogging altogether, or they regain some lost conviction... Oh well, time to see how I rank.

I guess one of the main reasons why I chose to write a public journal of my thoughts, feelings, and experiences, is the fact that through this forum I have a certain obligation. With a regular written journal or one stored on word processor, I would have no one to share it with and therefore become bored with it. Afterall, if I needed to remember how I felt at whatever time, I can just reach back into the recesses of my mind and fish it out. 'Nother main issue is aesthetics. You can only make a paper journal so pretty and same with a wordpad. Through this html, I can make beautiful layouts and have it serve some other function, the sharing of my artwork/poetry throughout the net. But, if you've ever been reading blogs for long, you begin to find that some authors write only of quirky finds online, while others are very bare about what their thoughts, views, and feelings are. So, how do I find the courage to write so openly and truthfully? I think it all came from my longing of a trustworthy world. It's a trend I noticed in my writing a while back, the stories are boring and bland because you could trust everyone. I've always longed for a world where everyone could be trusted to at least be polite when you need some peaceful time. My subconcious takes this notion and applies it to everything I say or do. Thus, through a silly and naive longing for a better world, I've evicerated myself for all of you to see.

Hope you've enjoyed the show thus far.