Just learned why Seri seems like she's been avoiding school for the past couple of days... Mainly that the people we hang out with at lunch have started to seriously annoy her. So, lately she's been migrating to quiet, peaceful places. I can't blame her, really. Those people can be one hell of an annoyance... more so when they're all in a pissy mood as opposed to an overtly boisterious mood. Anyways, this reminded me of how I never go off on my own for peace and quiet anymore. Perhaps that's what I should do during school to cool off a bit. Afterall, stress can be quite a bitch. Hm... guess the question now is where would I go to just relax?

Discussion in Health class today was on the topic of Marlow's Heiarchy of Needs. According to Marlow's theory, physical needs such as food, water, shelter, and security must be met before all other needs do. Afterwards, the need for recognition and the need to love and be loved. Then comes the aesthetic needs, followed then by self-assurance. Of course, it seems like a good way to organize all these human needs, but by no means does it apply to all situations. Sure, at the barest consciousness we follow that order, in that if one need is not satisfied, all those after it can never be. But, when the person becomes more complex, has their own ideas about the world, you can shuffel around those needs a bit. Take, for instance, I can forsake sleep, meals, even social interaction to finish a picture forever juxtaposed on my brain like a broken slide project which just doesn't want to turn off. Perhaps, that's what it means to overcome human instinct. Instinct tells us to prioritize by what the body needs, but we are able to transcend that mind set and prioritize for ourself what we need first and foremost. Exactly the same reason why I like the idea of evolution so much; with evolution we can change to be more that what we are already. Not so much to the point of being gods, mind you, but to change to maybe be more insightful and less destructive...

Which reminds me. I was watching I Shot Andy Warhol today on Bravo. The movie was absolutely brilliant. It showed the ruminations of Valerie, the woman who shot Warhol when she conjectured that he had stolen her "S.C.U.M. Manifesto" from her. Ironic, that several years after she's been dead (and died in a home-less shelter no less) her manifesto has become a classical feminist piece. A starving artist who doesn't want to become famous until post-mortum... as much as I appreciate a romantic dream, I don't want that.

The more I listen to Alanis Morisette, the more her music reminds me of my current state of thinking. I absolutely love her song "Forgiven" right now... the deep bass in the beginning is the rain which falls infront of the gravel steps on the catholic church in question. I envision her singing in an empty church and the surrounding areas (cemetary, catholic school, orchid grove) with the camera slightly out of focus and the black and white film almost blue and purple. God... I so want to make a video for this song.

Speaking of which, Seri-chan's also having a lot of frustration figuring out what her religious beliefs are. Mine own are very vague, even to me. Originally, I did buy into the whole strict catholisism, till I found out that they were against me. I began breaking free from those strong chains, leaving the metal fixtures on the wall my only foundation for the new set of beliefs I have bought for myself. Yes, there is a god, whether he be Buddha, Odin, Zeus, all those other archaeic gods, or a mere focal point for the wills of the human whole. Incarnation does exist, I believe. We have second chances which, although it maybe nice after our first lifetime, it can be a cursed existance for all eternity. Still... I have pushed all thoughts of religion from my mind for some time, focusing instead on art and sensuality; a search for the zenith of the aesthetic. Then I remember reading a chapter in an art book I borrowed once, saying how the painting of one or two squares of color was colinear to a religious experience. Yes, art can, and is, religion.

No piano lessons today, so I can more or less relax as my uncle brings the family over for a crab dinner tonight. However, as a custom in my family, I refuse to play the piano for their enjoyment, since I can only play so little.

Well, just found out why Paul hasn't been online lately. Pity, I really wanted to talk to him about stuff... I guess it's time to write some rather long over-due emails.