"It's not that I don't recognize the absurdity of it all. I do, but I do it anyway." -Benjamin Morgan, director of "Meet Joe Gay"

Well, the cable modem is serving me well in the fact that I can finally watch the movies I wanna watch at AtomFilms.com. I currently finished watching two rather good films:

"The Boy Next Door" is about the sibling rivalry which ensues when a brother and sister fight for the affections of the new neighbor. Of course, the balance is ultimately gained when the new guy's girlfriend gives him major lipsmackings in front of the two waring sibs. My sis and I sat down and watched it together, and we swore never to bicker over any single guy... except for Johnsy, in which case we'd share.

"Trevor" is the next flick viewed. This one is a rather well known 18min short film (saw it for the first time on HBO) (which, now that I get premium as well, I can watch Queer as Folk) complete with an intro from the ever-present Ellen DeGeneres. This one is about 13 year old Trevor coming to terms with his sexuality... which escalates to a suicide attempt via Aspirin and two Donna White tickets from a male nurse named Jack. This film really struck a chord in me. Can't really explain it, but it's there.

The last movie today is "Meet Joe Gay," a variation of the reality TV idea, except this one's a startling intimate autobiographical documentary of the director's relationships... well, lack there of. This one's 25 minutes long, but damn is it good! Director and specimen-in-question Benjamin explores his own fantasies and insecurities in the search for why he doesn't have relationships. In the beginning of the film, there's a gay Cinderella-esque story unfolding as the poor washing boy gets whisked away by a prince charming onto the back of his proud steed... before promptly jumping on at the wrong angle and falling to the ground. The main topic of discussion throughout this film (specifically during the "gay sleepover" section) is the good old question: "Where is Prince Charming?" Why does it seem like he shies away from the gay community, and you have an even harder chance of starting a relationship, let alone a budding romance and then the experience of growing through your midlife crisis together... Why do all our romances seem so fleeting and transient? Is sex all a lot of us really think about, now that we don't have the burden of producing offspring and supporting them? And if so, where does it leave us, the dreamers who wish for that one overwhelming love which breaks all the boundaries of society, the love of movie theaters and shakespeare. We are left to fend for ourselves in a sea of others who seek nothing more than five minutes' comfort.

Even if this is the harsh reality, I will never give up on finding that one guy. And, once again agreeing with Ben, if I ever do give up this search, then I would have lost not only hope, but a sliver of what little I have left of childhood abandon and illusionment.

... apparently Blogger hasn't been posting my entries. Damn.