Saw Planet of the Apes last night with family. Good movie. Highly unlikely ending (and a bit on the predictable side) but enjoyable none the less. At least it makes you think.

Which is a good thing for yourself, but when your sis starts confusing herself by speaking her thoughts out loud and an arrogant, hubric father who takes it upon himself to explain what's what. I don't need that unnecessary information. Already at a system overload.

Mental stability is taking a beating. Dammit. Damn summer school, damn all the back-stabbing talks, damn the need to fit in, damn my suppression of expression, damn people who claim they're open to new things but really prefer to live inside their small shell, damn hypocrits.

Damn family members who just don't know when to back off, damn family members that cry for you every morning and don't even know that it's hurting you as much as they are, damn family members who constantly act like toddlers when said member is 40+ years old, damn the little things of family members that were once tolerable have now become a reason for avoidance.

Damn my needs for social activity. Damn humans for being a social species. Damn inspiration for never striking when you have nothing to do. Damn adrenaline. Damn caffiene. Damn alcohol. Damn the tar smell of the casinos from all the smokers. Damn sodium. Damn zinc. Damn sulfate. Damn magnetic materials. Damn magnetic poetry.

Damn school. Damn assignments. Damn moment to breath. Damn inactivity of the mind. Damn waiters who give entrees to the wrong table. Damn people you don't want to talk to calling you long distance from AZ. Damn said person for even thinking about it. Damn self for thinking about him thinking about it. Damn those family members who don't believe in diets or lack the faith and trust to see you through the experiement. Damn eye-hand coordination. Damn the stares and body language of people so obvious when they say one thing but their stance says another. Damn people for being overly and annoyingly suspicious or skeptical. Damn people for over-using slang they and only they know of.

Damn nail polish for chipping. Damn family members who repeatedly talk even when to themselves. Damn same said family when they sound as if they are talking to themselves but then expect you to listen in. Damn people who expect you to listen to every word they say, but don't lend an ear in return. Damn drama queens. Damn queens.

Damn bees. Damn fire ants. Damn flies and moths.

Damn moment of enlightenment. Damn feigned trauma. Damn sense of humor. Damn impatience. Damn idiocy. Damn sloth. Damn search for validation. Damn Nirvana. Damn Siddhartha. Damn Hesse. Damn Abraxas. Damn archaia. Damn nostalgia. Damn the current. Damn the media. Damn the conservatives. Damn the liberals. Damn the damned.

In the end, we all want to belong. Or be understood at that.