10.31.2001
 
At this moment, I'm two cracks shy from broken.

Currently breaking (so far for two hours) on filming my piece due for Art on thursday. We have to do a piece (any medium) on either "scratch" or "hesisant of impending darkness"... so I'm doing something bizarre with white wire and a guy confessing how he's doubting the voices in his head... it's either that or a 40 second thing on death featuring photos of... stuff.

"Take death for example. A great deal of our efforts are in avoiding it. We make extraordinary efforts to delay it and often consider its intrusion a tragic event. Yet we find it hard to live without it. Death gives meaning to our lives. It's gives importance and value to time. Time would become meaningless if there were too much of it. If death were inevitably put off the human psyche would end up like... well, the gambler from that episode of The Twilight Zone."

Yester-night wasn't all that grand either. Sis was scrambling to finish her history project (she had the foley to attempt making 3 miniature statues within the span of four days... two of which she squandered with something called "sleep") so naturally she was constantly asking me to perform small tasks for her. Needless to say, I only got about two hour's sleep that night.

And tonight's not looking all that peaceful either. Despite sleeping from 3pm to 7:50pm (just in time to catch Buffy I might add), I'm still quite (pathologically) fatigued.

Rica-san's sick so she wasn't at school today. :( And apparently not for the majority of the week either.

I'm upset that I can't participate in afterschool activities this week. Today I would've stayed after to work on my stuff, but sis said she was quite tired and I didn't feel up to waiting for my dad for up to half an hour CD player-less. Tomorrow there may be a chance of me staying after... but that's just wholesome-ly depressing that I have absolutely no plans for this upcoming all-hallows eve. I could just kick back and watch the annual airing of the RHPS on VH1, but that's equally as disappointing.

I remember a year or two back (possibly more) when after observing how much my family reunions/parties suck, I vowed to maintain as many traditions as I can. Several years to the present and the world's weight has already broken that one. The fact that I'm willing to do schoolwork afterschool tomorrow makes me feel like Scrooge from "A Christmas Carol."

Thursday I have to sing during the 6:00pm mass for church (stupid confirmation "days of obligation") (Karen's lucky; she only has to take one year of it) so no P.A. meeting this week. Friday... I can never stay after on Fridays anyways (piano lessons). Next week's not looking so hot. Monday's a no, Tuesday's a maybe, Wednesday's a no (not quite sure if I can go to the ATech game and say hi/ annoy Matt), Thursday's a maybe if P.A. doesn't go on for an hour and half again, and again Friday's a no. Not to mention all my other class "obligations."

Ugh... It's not my fault I'm procrastinating. Blame the school for wearing me out so that I sleep till the dark hours of night where you can't really get anything done since your circadian clock screams for bed. Blech, that was confusing.

Haven't talked to Matt (or anyone for that matter) on the phone in a while. Need to discuss a possible ride home for the game next week.

I don't even have time to read my book these days. People with hardly any homework have it easy.

Yeah, you know who you are.

...

I would think of happy thoughts, but that's just deconstructive of the brooding/whining/bitching/moaning/etc. aire I've managed to build up.

At least I got to hang out with Danny a bit more today.

. . . . . posted:||12:35 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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