10.5.2001
 
I am still listening to Beautiful. Too many of those songs fit my mood at this current moment... it's near uncanny.

"I'm having delusions of adequacy."

"I set low standards and constantly fail to achieve them."

I had to get some emotions out of the way, so I danced for an hour on a chair. Sort of like the Brit Spears kind of dancing, but more stripper orientated. In other words, like I was dancing for someone sitting on the chair.

"I have issues with dependency."

I got my concept approved for my assemblage piece for art. Kind of a hesitant victory since, prior to the discussion followed by the ok, my teacher spilt a bit of water on her iBook and managed to black-out the screen. That's fixable, right?

"I'm a living, breathing, contradiction. Can't live through this crucifixtion."

I finally got an answer from DJ about what kind of pic he wanted me to draw for him. He wants BJ's. Typical. While talking with him, I was introduced to Theo who, after hearing my nickname "the cynically sunny anti-pacifistic gay buddha" he said "hey! you're family!" and gave me a hug. Awkward.

I got an email from someone concerning my Utena site... what's with the resurrgance of interest in that series now?

I took erotic photos with Lauren during photo in the backroom of the art room. Now that she got a good look at the place, Lauren has dubbed M12 as the coolest room in the whole school. And yes, it is.

"I've been watching you and all you do for quite some time. Knowing all the ins and outs of you, I should have known what was on your mind..."

I want to cry, but the waterworks aren't working...

I want to spend the night under the covers of my bed, curled in the fetal position.

I want to know why the hell I have a feeling of foreboding doom with an immediate sense of depression, yet I can't pin-point a reason for it... and no, it's not about the things you think it is.

I've referred to myself enough today.

. . . . . posted:||11:32 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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