10.1.2001
 
Matt: I'm hurt.
Chuck: Qua?
Matt: I was reading the stuff you wrote about me on your site.
Chuck: Oh that.
Matt: Yeah, in the archives.
Chuck: You took the time to read all that?
Matt: Well I wanted to read what you wrote about me.
Chuck: Ah... I'm sorry.
Matt: Yeah. You didn't mention how gorgeous I was.
Chuck: A bit egotistical aren't we?
Matt: ::laughs::
Chuck: Ahh... damn. How embarassing.

So yeah. Something like that.

Today sucked. Tried putting on that whole happy face crap thing, but by the last period of the day that facade fell through. So, for the most part of the day I've been more soft-spoken than my sis has ever been.

Art just completely knocked all confidence out of my system. First off, teacher didn't show my sketchbook as an example of an exemplary piece... which means I'm dreading the actual grade I got for that assignment. Also, she was saying how all the ideas people have been presenting her with for our conceptual piece have been very unimpressive; she's disappointed that none have yet been completely amazing. Well, one but that was about it. Got bad enough that I wrote all over my left arm, did a weird juxtaposition of words on my sketchbook, and put the only sad song on the whole QaF CD on repeat. Considering scrapping the thumbnail I have right now and going for something more challenging, more rustic and less suburban.

Also doesn't help that none of my prints for photo turned out. All either underexposed, overexposed, out of focus, or the negative had a nice fingerprint on it I didn't notice. Asked the teacher how to clean the negative so she demonstrated... and managed to scratch it in the process. Luckily none of the negatives I was actually going to use were damaged.

All throughout Algebra I was humming "Part of Your World" for no apparent reason. And I couldn't stop.

At least two things positive have happened to me today: confirmation class was cancelled and I'm learning to with-hold information again. Which in a way is good because I pour too much of my personal life out in the open, but I tend to over-compensate and may become jaded again. At least I still have those secrets that no one else but one other person knows about. The several "one other person" 's.

I don't feel like breaking the bonds of my physical existance. I'd rather just melt instead... and I'm surprised I haven't considering how my internal body heat has been over-reacting lately.

God I hope I don't get sick.

. . . . . posted:||8:58 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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