One moment I'm elated
I feel like asking him out, but I don't know...
The next I'm depressed
He's already shot down that possibility...
And the constant game of see-saw in my head
... when during our conversation he said:
Is beginning to leave my body feeling numb.
"It would be weird if we ever were like that, Chuck."
Can anyone give me an explanation?
And I was stupid to agree
"Looks like I'm here all alone, sitting wondering why I pay for your sins..."
- Swell 26's "Letters to Angel"
But I got him to agree to go to Winter Formal with me
Went to that gateway arts fest today. Funny since sis and I kinda snuck in without even realizing it. We went through the gallery where the festival was being held in the back lot. Completely skipped the ticket booth and gate, but no one hardly noticed.
... well, at least I think he was being serious...
Quickly met up with Jen, Katty, Christine, Emily, and Desiree at mi escuela's booth. Had to "make room" at the table so I could layout some artwork... but the contrasting booths were funny. My school's had so much stuff in it while the others were very sparsely occupied. I'm considering trying to get the school a booth at the arts fair up here in Summerlin since that one generally has a better turn out.
It's sad that my feelings for him really haven't gone yet
When sis and I got there people were reading loads of bad poetry on the mini-stage they had set up... ech.
Sometimes I just imagine myself pulling him close...
So, we decided to go grab a drink first. Went over to the Red Bull tent and I got myself an energy boost. Funny thing is, they poured the can into a cup with the Budweiser logo on it... and considering the hue of the liquid, it could pass as beer. Hell, everyone seriously thought it was.
... so that his chin was resting on my forehead...
Dad came a few minutes later after he found a parking space. Sis got him to buy a big helping of cotton candy which she couldn't finish... so we had all our friends take a bit.
... and I'd be able to feel his body heat.
Later, dad bought a beef sandwich thing and was eating it in the shade. People passing by saw him and got hungry, so they went over to the food tent that was selling that stuff and bought some.
"You idiot!" I'd say just below my voice,
Then someone from the DJing stand came to the same food tent and bought a big ol' turkey leg. Upon his return, all his friends saw the mass of meat and decided to go buy some too. Dad notices them and decides to get a leg for la madre who was having a hair appointment at the time. But when he gets there, they're fresh out of it.
"How can you toy with my emotions like that?!"
Watched and conversed with Jen and Katie while they were getting temporary tats. Made fun of the pretentious artist occupying the next booth as he tried to explain his reasons for the piece the customer was interested in buying.
And I'd be near to tears as I pull him even closer to me...
Which is one of the reasons why I hate it when artists explain their work. Giving away the "true" meanings of the piece leaves it to little more interpretation. And that is the best part about a piece you can't understand easily. Like a canvas painted one color.
... eventually sobbing hot tears down my cheeks.
After staying for half an hour, we had to leave to pick up la madre... but we left just before the Battle of the Bands started. On the drive over dad said how the whole experience was quite good and something he'd definetly do next year.

... There're still some tricks I can do to let myself talk about the things I want to.