Erm... ouch? Currently starting up a work-out binge which, thanks to it's (current) ease, I imagine will be easy to follow. I need to work on discipline anyways. So, stretches for 15 minutes and then working on my arms for about 20 minutes... which surprisingly goes by pretty fast.

I guess the main reason why I try to avoid working out at home/at all (besides the obvious tiring experience) is the fact that my family has a whole "good for you!" attitude about it and thus exhibit far too much enthusiasm. Hell, whenever they start exhibiting too much interests in my activities, I tend to stop doing them (ex. tennis lessons, basketball, learning how to rollerblade/skate, chess, etc.) for fear that my parents would drive me further down the path. And I know my grandma loathes having a grandson who isn't physically fit... but at least I'm smart enough to be respectable in her eyes.

Time to be a bit frank. (well, not really, but I'm exposing myself a bit here) The majority of weight I put on happened during middleschool. Was already a little bit overweight when going out of elementary school, but the introduction of school sports teams, jocks, and the option of skipping P.E. for a year to take Choir left me wanting a lot of comfort food. Not to mention that I acted like the usual homophobe most boys that age are suppose to be... and when people start contradicting themselves in the worst ways...

To be succinct, those were the worst years of my life thus far.

Used to take karate (brown belt nearing black belt) and that helped me maintain figure/ relieve stress but my dad began forgetting about the lessons and I wasn't amused that he deprived me of a chance to attain a higher rank... Hell, the first lesson he forgot to bring me to was the test for a blackbelt so I had to wait another year before advancing more.

Seeing how many people were actually fit at the dance auditions for Hello Dolly was the final push. I know for a fact that I can dance (several years in choir proving that fact) but... it's hard to be graceful while packing 200+ lbs. And I do have muscle... you just can't tell that easily. What bugs me even more is that some people who saw me audition won't even talk to me since I messed up during the second time my group had to do it...

But as I said before, I need to learn discipline. Can't go on exercising binges as a reaction to something that's happened, it must become habit. Like brushing your teeth or taking a shower in the morning and night. (and about the showers, I can now see why Brady likes 'em so)

Fuck, I'd be satisfied being at the weight I was last year at this time.

Actually, no I wouldn't.

Because I'm tired of being "just cute."

And this isn't just libido talking.

(::smacks everyone who starts snickering::)

In other news... it's sad how many people are turning to Emo music as a new alternative to declare their position as outcasts of society. Personally, I like the sound so I'll be listening to it for many a time to come.

But... one gripe. Could you please tell Hot Topic to stop selling purposely faded sweaters? It's bad enough that H.T. has the same status in my school that A.E. or Abecrombie have in others.

... Since when did Mr. Rags sell ghetto-fab?

. . .

Ugh...