One of the major problems I face whenever I draw something is that urge for it to be perfect. And perfection, to a trained eye, goes far beyond naturalism. Proportions and features (pertaining to human subjects) must be accurate while giving a more natural sense. In other words, you can't have perfect proportion on one's face if you want one to look real.

Basically that's why I haven't drawn as much as I should these days. Due to the mini-life-drawing class in art, I've been observing actual body proportions. It's frustrating to know how something must appear but lack the skill to execute it.

And to fuel my need for a crush/boyfriend/lover/life-partner, all of my drawings recently have involved two men cuddling, kissing, and other cute signs and actions of affection. Conversely, I've been drawing and using blood more and more with my other drawings.

But I think that my focus is swaying from my ideal of sensuality. Which is a bad thing. Because now I have more ideas for my AP Portfolio:
- comparing sensual imagery from the past with ones in the future
- a study of the sensuality of curvature on the male body
- comparing the desires of a homosexual male to those of a heterosexual female
- eroticism observed through the hands, legs, or any other body part
- comparing actions of affection from public displays to bedroom adventures

And a whole lot more, but I fear that if I go into further detail I'll move further off into a tangent.

... which, if I do decide to do something outside the realm of erotica and sensuality, will render my research up to this point completely void.

This is starting to sound like my science fair project.

... and sis' suppose to be up to help me take self-portrait shots. Grr.