Hmm... Me? Sleeping for 10 hours a time? No, that is not a good sign. Especially when I get my extra 6 hours sleep. That is what accounts for my recent absence from anywhere on the net. That and I'm still avoiding someone. Speaking of which, I was retabulating the score today, and I thought that I only had 19 instead of 21 and that made me happy. Then tonight happened and that 19 became a 20. At least it's still better by one, right?

Drum roll please. The number one reason why I hesitate to tell people personal things is... I would appear weak. It's my vice, I believe, that people think I'm a pillar of strength. Most of my group members for school projects think so, anyways. Yes, I'm following the path of most to all men, the need to be strong. I just don't act masculine, but detached and stoic. Take for instance the introduction of deadjournal to me. I know of three of my friends who have those things, and it is surprising to see how fragile their whole persona is. Again, I want to talk to one or two of them who share this particular problem... but they're all girls. Hn.

I need to meet a guy who has been through the things I have. Well, on this concern anyways. Problem is, they are few and far between. I do so happen to know of one guy, but I won't annoy him with an email from a stranger. It seems wrong.

Funny how I always need someone to talk to, but when someone comes along I clam up.

Today during lunch I was in dire need of cheering up and energy-infusion that did not involve sugar or caffiene. So, I was heckling Marcy, Claire, and Kristen to name any musical ("besides Moulin Rouge, dammit!") so I could sing and be happy. We tried it at first with Spice Girls songs, but that got a bit scary. So, can that idea.

Still caught up in the image of a dark dancing hall, bossa nova, the light from a slowly rotating disco ball, and arms wrapped across anothers chest as they moved in time with the music. Been trying to capture that in my more recent drawings... but with no real life models, the proportions are off. Hn.

Currently finishing an application to join National Honors Society. Specifically the essay portion. It's hell.

. . . . . posted:||10:41 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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