I'm guessing the realization hit sometime between the first verse and chorus of Incubus' "Are You In?"

It's just about 4am in the morning. I have work at 9am. Then piano at 6pm. I have yet to practice (per usual).

Oh, did I mention that before I came down here I spent about three hours in my room painting the Zeus and Ganymede myth over and over again? I didn't? Well, I did. Eventually made five or so different paintings... but I doubt they look better when devoid of candlelight.

I like the 50+ candles in my room. Grandma doesn't seem to agree; she's always coughing whenever I have one on. And I had twenty or so burning brightly to finish... erm, whatever it was that I was working on. Italian Renaissance music played softly on my stereo.

After finishing the paintings I started reading up on Carravagio while sipping half a bottle of cianti. On second thought, drinking on a weekday isn't such a good idea, is it? Well, no hang over yet... hopefully.

Anyways, where was I? Oh, that's right.

I came to the realization (and it's a sad one too) that we may never be as close as we used to be, and I'm not bothered by it one bit. That'll provide many ackward moments tomorrow at the Cheesecake Factory, but atleast I have a lot of friends to hide behind.

The reason why? Plain and simple: my goal for the rest of the year is to eliminate most of the drama in my life. I'm a thoroughly adjusted person (unless you take off the restraints on my omnipotent powers) who get's thrown into emotional train-wrecks by the people around me. Just a little observation I noticed over the school year.

So, I figure that I should distance myself from the one person with the most potential to start up some drama. Even he himself has professed to causing drama when things get too quiet.

But I like quiet. Conflicts bred of boredom are more often than not an attempt at asserting oneself as mature. I don't believe that; I know that I am mature. I don't need situations to reaffirm that fact.

... Sometimes I wish I was a mind-reader. Life would be a bit easier/ more interesting that way.