2.3.2004
 
Another birthday, another year gone by, another year of attempted greatness, another year of attempted self-reconstruction.

Another birthday, another quiet, stressful day of slow-cooking rage.

Tried being happy all day, but since two years ago (sophomore year) birthdays have lost their initial excitement. I'd be a bit depressed about it (and am), but I've resigned myself to putting any birthday celebrations in the same category as: family holiday parties (Christmas, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, Debutante Ball). All of the above are examples of dying traditions.

I'm happy that some people remembered my birthday. Nothing gaudy like gigantic floaty balloons or people singing "happy birthday" down the hallway. Plus, no one outside of mi familia has baked me a cake for it, so Karen's gift is uber-heart felt.


Yep, today was my birthday. Kiss sweet-sixteen good-bye, I'm seventeen and I don't feel much better different.

This year I'm playing it low-key since I'm saving up my energies for next year's 18th Birthday party. Four words, mis amigos: Thunder From Down Under. We are so watching that show!



From last year's birthday. Yeah, not trying to hide it anymore. I'm feeling the blues with Janis Joplin.

For February 3: You might not feel as upbeat or physically strong first thing today. Don't push yourself - and don't push others, either. If an unresolved matter continues to drape over you like a shroud, you're advised to discuss your thoughts with an objective, trusted outsider. You're too close to an issue to see things as clearly as you need to. A close friend or loved one may have done something that offends you. This person's actions may be clumsy and rude, but were probably not intended to upset you. You can carry angry worry around in your heart for a very long time and make yourself sick, or you can turn the page and restart your engine. No matter how annoyed you feel early today, late afternoon and evening have very rewarding things in store.

That cheers me up somewhat.

So, I'm happy that few people remember to check this site for updates. Livejournal = editing posts to communicate, whereas Blogger = keeping notes on myself for myself.

... Photographs make me sad. I need to stop taking so many. Well, photos of myself anyway.

Shoot me, I'm dying anyway. (You've been dying since the day you were born)

I need need need need need to get my ass to a dojo and reteach myself discipline. Remembering when martial arts played a huge part in my mental development (sensei was completely disappointed when I stopped coming to classes since he wanted to see me reach my blackbelt test), and now I've lost many of its lessons.

... and I give up. It'll never happen. He told me so in the subtlest of words (and I thank you for that, really I do)... but it still doesn't make me feel any better about it.

I can take your pain away... You don't need one word to talk to me...

Tonight is randomly quote something night.

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