If you've been having a good day today, and are a little bit of an empath, stop reading this now.

. . .

It's gotten to the point where I can't stand to look into a mirror anymore. Or any sort of reflection unless it's completely necessary that I do.

I told sis that I got the scrapes from stumbling into a mess of sharp-pointed easels in the art room. Anything to keep her from worrying. Or anyone for that matter.

Which is why I pour all my pity and my worries here.

Yeah, the same thing is happening with him. The same thing that I was afraid of ever since I started to open up to him. He said it wouldn't be the same, that somehow we'd stay the closest of friends even with me burdening him with my secrets. I should learn not to trust what people think they can do.

Our conversations are now restricted to my stiffled rantings and whining, as he responds with questions and ideas about the best way to play these songs. Then I would help him with his music theory and everything would start again.

I think I'm starting to annoy him. That's the worst feeling in the world; realizing that you're annoying someone you want to stay amiable with.

And now I'm annoying whoever reads this, including myself.

. . .

Word History:

“A painter's ass” is not a phrase that immediately brings to mind an accessory to the artist's profession. But easel comes to us from the Dutch word ezel, meaning “ass, donkey.” The Dutch word was eventually extended to mean “an upright frame for displaying or supporting something,” in the same way that the English word horse has come to mean “a piece of gymnastic equipment with an upholstered body.” Developments such as these illustrate the playfulness or wit sometimes introduced into language when speakers use perceived similarities between two objects to name one of them.

. . .

Procrastination is the deadliest of vices. At least right now. I have so many deadlines (::coughmondaycough::) that I really need to stop sleeping... and stop postponing things.

Even typing up this entry I'm wasting valuable time which I could spend finishing up these applications for scholarships. Because...

The parents have more or less told me that I can't go out of state. At least, the entire family would go for broke if I did. Because sis and I are going to college at the same time. And we want--

No more procrastinating.