7.12.2004
 
All these selfish feelings and desires... I make myself sick.

Tonight has been breakdown night number three in so many months.

I have the urge to just explain to everyone why I haven't been out of the house in so long. That I'm hideous and I don't want to offend the general public by my own noxious presence. That if I encounter leering and scrutinizing eyes one more time I would either fly into a rage or collapse into myself.

I wish my mind would make a decision and give me my gigantic, psychological destruction already. I can't stand all of these little deaths I've been suffering.

Not even painting gives me solace.

. . . . . posted:||3:37 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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