Ha! I knew he looked familiar.

Anyways, people I associate with at school should know by now about my certain obsession with that Gap commercial. The one with a guy dancing and girating all over the screen.

Turns out that he's an actor/dancer named Will Kemp (not to be confused with Will Kemp circa 1567). I finally recognized him for his performance in this version of "The Swan Lake." In it he plays the Swan that the Prince eventually falls in love with. And yes, we're talking man-on-man swerving.

And apparently I'm not the only one out on the web who claims the man as a boyfriend. Damn.

He even has a wallpaper made out and all.

http://natsumemaya.terminus.net.au/psych_test.htm

Um... Karen? Be afraid. Be very afraid. I got it right on the dot.

Current state: mildly frizzy.

Nun: "I'm sorry, I'm really not like this.... oh blow it out your ass!"

Season premieres on NBC. Great stuff. Didn't turn into the Frasier one though... but Scrubs managed to be the funniest of all the shows there.

Just had four odd pieces of baklava (all dripping or sticky with honey/syrup), buffalo meat balls (which started to taste gamey after the first three), five cups of coffee, a glass of lemonade, and a tall glass full of ice cubes.

So naturally the insides of my cheek have been more or less tenderized and numb. I've actually managed to carve into my mouth with semi-sharp canines. At least I finally managed to break skin while biting Flavey today.

Ech, coughing blood again.

Yeah, can't think at the moment. I'll get back to you on... stuff.

Why do I have a feeling that I've become more of an observer than an activist? Just a thought.

And the lack of posting probably has some sort of correlation to the above statement.

I figured that I should post something other than "turn this f*cking music off before I go and kill/kiss some sobbing emo boy."

Oh, right. Didn't mention the last part. Yes, I have an urge to kiss said emo boy. Except that he's not really emo. Well, if he is then his band-major tendencies show through just a tad bit more. One day I find myself sitting in my US History class quietly nodding my head to some music that I was hearing inside my head ("Candy" by Ash, if you must ask) when I looked over and I though: "Hmm. I bet his lips are soft. He probably won't mind if I try suffocating myself on them." I shit you not; those were the exact thoughts running through my head.

Luckily I hadn't made any sort of move to do so, otherwise people from school would definitely have something to talk about concerning me. But ha, I won't give them that opportunity.

One would think that I knew better than to consider kissing said guy. Especially since he's straight. Not like a rainbow, but like a ray of light. Nevermind the Physics reference I just made.

Still, since then there's been about five or six guys walking around school that gets me into the (metaphoric) raping mood. As in me running at them full speed out of no where and placing several strategic lip markings on the (un)fortunate victim. A libido is as much of a blessing as it is a curse.

So, any new happenings worth mentioning, one would ask?

Randy's semi-bummed that Flavey and best friend had been going out behind his back. He's still as annoying/endearing as ever. Lack of humor concerning my feigned deity complex could use much tweaking, but he has made it his semi-daily goal to break my patience during Japanese. Given the company that we keep in that class, it doesn't take much. I sincerely believe that half of the class (namely the half that aren't on my side/area) are in dire need of lip plates, mouth guards, and other gag-inducing items.

Oh, and Marc Copely. Gotta love him to death. His album cover uses the whole black, white, and red that Mr. Wainwright's did, but I wasn't too miffed after several viewings. Doesn't hurt that he's practically eye candy. And talented eye candy at that. Athenis said that he sounded like EverClear, and I'm inclined to agree.

APC went much better this time around. Two things that I need to improve: developing some way to silence the group (possibly by developing better oratorial skills) and removing usurpers from positions of power (i.e. Didi's constant intrusion into the front of the class). I appreciate her work, but the extra governing isn't necessary. On the other hand, I don't want to come off as dictator-esque by telling people to shut up mid-meeting. It was easier when I was only the VP; I wasn't on the top of the chain of command. Along with Didi was Justin, who is a tad bit used to being in a seat of power. Both were consciously or subconsciously diverting a sense of authority away from me.

It's really quite annoying when that happens. But the club definitely needs to have more groundwork added. We're far to large this year (compared to Pride Alliance) to have a familiar and overall unorganized comfortable atmosphere. Yeesh.

Hopefully others will take some sort of initiative in researching possible charities, activities, etc. that the club could participate in... but that's an awful lot of wishful thinking.

Looks like my Psychology class won't be as horrendous as I thought that it would be. How could I tell? I got a perfect on that "paper" we wrote. Which kicked my grade up a nice 8 percent. English appears to be the class to worry about. My group got a C for our "patriotic" alphabet book; points were deducted from inappropriate subject matters, "unpatriotic" undertones or lack of incorporation, and several errors within the different classes of sentences. Blech. And that is why I hate group projects. Individual projects are fine, but I have issues with trusting others to meet me halfway with work.

Hell, I have trust issues period.

Karen's bumped me up to 'best-friend' status. Very very awesome, yet I can't help feeling guilty.

By the way Karen: if you can remember any of the dirt you had on me (but for some reason forgot) I'll give you cookies for each one you get right! And pie if you get all of them down.

Went to Costco and bought an obscene amount of... baklava. They had one of those assorted baklavas, so naturally sis grabbed a pack. Dad and I gave the thing two days before it completely disappears.

I can say with conviction that the honey they use for it gets awfully sticky.

At the registers one of the "bagging" boys was a spitting image of Percy Weasley from the Harry Potter books. He had the whole Irish-red hair, pale skin, tall and willowy, and slightly freckled image about him. Very very nice.

What's not so very very nice: emo boys who take it too far. While helping Treat and Michaels with painting the gallery, these two friends of Jessie's came over. Both were tall (probablyy 6 ft.). Both were skinny (i.e. the size of my wrist was the maximum width of their bicep). Both were stubbly ("but not in the sexy way, more of the overall plague theme"). And both had squeaky voices.

And wearing pink shirts. As cute as that may have turned out to be (guys wearing pink is very adorable, even if it is on insufferable arrogant pricks who're only doing it because they're pledging for a frat while still in highschool) it looked almost grotesque on them.

On the plus side, they both had great personalities.

Now that I've come full circle, it's time to close up this entry. Hopefully I'll be able to speak to Rica in person about a possible hostee position.

Ta.

God. Dammit. All. To. Hell.

Someone turn off the Dashboard Confessional that I've been subjecting myself to for the past two days! And then turn off the "Cars & Calories" song that's been on perpetual repeat afterwards!

In other news, I'm currently in search of a new host. Rootofpi.org will be down by late October, so tis time to go find another place to hunker down. Hmm....

SGAM, 16, seeking servr w/ modest space. Brinkster & Yahoo! need not apply.

I'm just *this* close to turning Asian Pacific Club into something like Pride Alliance. In other words: I'm thinking of addressing the visibility (or lack there of) of issues that the Asian American youth face today. There are plenty of issues to be discussed concerning identity, associations, ethnic importance, etc. It may be an inappropriate forum to discuss certain issues (damn you, Leyman) but I want to open up that issue a bit. From the way things are looking at the moment... yeah.

Maybe I could do something in conjunction with Pride Alliance?

What I want to know is if there are other Pride Alliances who have had to compromise their mission statement to include anything and everything. It's lonely being the only highschool club (which I know of) that caters to anything and everything while maintaining an uneasy neutrality on the subject of sexuality.

It really should be a club about "sexuality." Outside of school many of the people at school have no forum to discuss ideas. It's infuriating to me that parents believe that teenagers are non-sexual humans.

Although they may not be so blunt about it, there are many rules and regulations that infer the message none the less: dress code, content censorship, and zero-tolerance to anything and everything related to sexuality.

Jeezy Chreezy, we're a culture developed because we aren't able to express our choice in bedmates. In all honesty, the gay community really is all about sex. And again, in all honesty, there is nothing wrong with that.

Damned conservatives.

By the by, it's a little to a lot past 3:00am in the morning. The dreadful essay/paragraph has been written (in under 15 minutes, but then a half an hour rewrite ensued) and since 1:30am I've been researching and looking into possible fundraisers, events, organizations, and obtaining ideas for three clubs: Art, APC, and PA.

Thankfully NHS is a self-perpetuating machine so I don't have to worry about that too much.

This is all most likely spurred on by the lack of attendance to the first PA meeting.

And I'm tired. But I'm still searching.

And still enraged.

If I had breasts and a set of bras, I'd be burning them at school in the next couple of months.

... the bras, not the breasts.

A very fun day involving a debate between Tories and Radicals (hint: I get to drink tea while the other side is debating), me supposedly being a "hero" to someone else--just as assuredly shocked as you are--Auki's lunchtime storytelling, evil former-dean-turned-assistant-principal while retaining-her-sadistic-tendencies and the Imperial March a la Star Wars, a questionable chicken pesto foccacia lunch, PA with a small amount of people showing up (and April displaying her talent for holding a crowd ::cough::), interesting conversations with Karen and her dad in the car ride home (where vegetable homicide, colleges, the uses of parsley, and french fries were discussed), and me falling asleep mid-Ragnarok only to wake up in the aftermath.

Yes, keeping this on the slightly succinct side because I have an essay to write/type for my English class. Damn you Hemingway, that story should have stayed as just an old man and a fish!

A very naughty/procrastinating boy am I, am I?

I am.

... And I saw the light, and that the light was good. So I changed the lightbulb into one of those nice red party light ones. And I saw that this light, and that this light was infinitely better than the last.

And on the seventh hour I blogg-ed.

Hello.

I'm finally coming-off, winding-down, deflating, and other wonderfully descriptive adjectives and phrases to basically say that I've taken considerable amounts of time to release several gallons of anxiety.

For those of you who were thoroughly confused by the above sentence: pie.

Right. So what have I been doing since my near panic attack over Horney and her theories of (oh the irony) personality-shaping anxiety and all other things psychologic?

First off, I managed to successfully burn through my copy of Three Complete Novels by E.M. Forster; the antique A Room With A View was spared because I liked the pretty 1950's-ish binding. But yes, I carved through that mass of flattened tree with a burning knife. Not only am I contributing to the greenhouse effect and managed to layer my lungs with some nice soot at the same time, but I'm also advocating the decimation of books a la Fahrenheit 451. Not really. It's art afterall, right? Right.

Still don't know what to do for the actual internal portion of the book, but I do have the title page for A Room With A View's appropriately titled Chapter 15: The Disaster Within. I snagged some of Michaels' nuts, bolts, and washers to play around with, but I have a feeling that some nice, rusted corkscrews would look good. Not enough jagged edges in between the... cavernous burned hole in between pages.

And the general vicinity of the book still smells like burning tarmac.

School's as overwhelming per usual. This week looks to be particularly full; I'm staying after every single day. Yesterday I stayed after for Art Club (and was elected Historian after bringing up the fact that we were lacking one) and was luckily able to get a ride home from Christine. Interesting ride home, especially with her fatigue-induced drunkeness and the English being interspursed within Korean. Today I'm staying after for a quick meeting for NHS (and hopefully to see if anyone else has heard anything at all about the Book Fest that I'm getting quite passionate about) followed by two hours of homework and then teen choir. Thursday is Pride Alliance's first meeting (and strangely enough, the announcement for it was not said in the morning) and I expect to be riding the bus home for that one. Friday I'll be witnessing Karen lecturing stuff at a church across the town. Why? Because I care. And it's an excuse to do something (anything!) different for a Friday night.

And yes, this does go on into the night. 11:30pm to be exact. Luckily no major projects are due om the immediate Monday... possibly.

I decided to wear my hair red and dress matchingly (including a tie) yesterday. It has now become my personal mission to erase any trace of Avril Lavigne from the slipstream we call time. Ever since she came onto the pop charts people have been adopting her brand of "punk-ish" clothing, leaving we who have been wearing such for at least a year preceding with much headaching. If I get one more look that I know has "effing poser" written all over it, then that unlucky fellow will have their facial expressions stretched along a very long wall.

All hail the teenager's right to hyperbolize.

Old scars are starting to come up again. Literally. Damn it.

Only seems natural that Adrienne's end of the karmic scale is going upwards... minus the prescence of the "mean reds."

Erm... sleep. That would be a good thing.

Another sign that my rubberband superego is on the verge of snapping: I've broken out the Dashboard Confessional and it's now on heavy rotation on WinAmp.

Someone shoot me. Please.

A zoloft injection would be nice. Or caffiene.

I'm worried. For once I'm actually, genuinely worried. It seems that Ms. A's class, no matter how much I love her teaching style, subject matter, or awesome sense of humor, is really going to be a hard blow to my GPA. Unless I start studying now, but I've spent the entire day carving into the pages of a book with a broken burn pen.

It's gotten serious. I haven't reached the point of hyperventilation when a school class is concerned until this year. And I don't have enough fictional finalism to balance out the stress and pressure.

Shit.

Hmm... diet on!

(this Bridget Jones-esque moment brought to you buy: the cheddar/swiss and portobella quiche I had last night)

It's always nice to know that, given that the need arises (such as my involvement as victim in a slasher fic) there are three nice guns hidden under somewhere in my house.

How do I know? Did some snooping for an appropriate wooden box. And found one filled with ammo. And the said three guns next to it.

It could be the Sandman Dustcover book that I've just flipped through, but I feel like tackling many of the upcoming sketchbook assignments right now.

The next one is insides, and I'm currently debating whether to carve into my nice, thick, and antique copy of A Room with a View for it. Definitely want to do something about how (as PZB said in Drawing Blood) "ripping and taking someone apart, bit by bit, is like solving a mystery; it's an act of love." She didn't word it like so (I have yet to find that book that's lying around somewhere) but generally that's what the book is more or less about. Or that's what the blood-encrusted hammer is all about.

So, I plan to do some evicerating of the more-metaphoric kind. But not myself. That's for "mirror," which is up in two months or so.

Regardless, there will be carving of sorts for both.

Speaking of which (and also spurred on by the Duck's post about the non-existant Asian American identity) I expect great things from my friend Christine. She's an amazing folk painter of sorts whose main subject matter is her Korean family. Although she herself lives the life of the white bourgeois, her artwork is more along the lines of Whistler's Mother. Except that everyone's yellow.

Take whatever you want from the previous sentence.

There definitely needs to be more predominately "asian" artists in America. My artwork (what little introspection I do) is constantly completely ambiguous racially or ethnically. I myself am said white-washed Asian. Doesn't really help that my preference in men leans and, off balance, falls completely on the white side.

A hypothesis: Asian Americans, due to our "grey" standing in a literally black and white world, have to be a bit cosmopolitan. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" and all that. But despite the "black" or "white" side that we predominately display, ask most asians about their heritage and they would know at least a little about their background.

To expect everyone with oriental blood to be able to connect themselves to Confucius or Murasashi while being about to recite twelve holidays from their native soil is downright unrealistic. Try asking someone of Irish decent if they can name five specifically Irish holidays. Exactly.

America, by tossing its racial salad, offers no true heritage except for those of native american decent. To compensate, all nationalities are being fused (no matter how slowly the process) into one group with the story of "our founding fathers" to cement ourselves into some sort of history.

Or it could be that we're just a racist nation. Which is why the slowly redeveloping class system is a bit of a mixed blessing. Don't ask me how or why, it just is. Trust me.

... ha. I doubt I'll be able to stand half of the things I've just said after a couple of months.

Just dismiss it as the ramblings of a youth angered at a society robbing him of his own identity.

Or it could be the notion that everyone has to cleave their own niches, no matter the location or company.

Typing this up in a rather ackward position: my legs are curled up to my chest and I'm balancing the keyboard on my knees. Right.

The banquet really turned out to be a dinner that I really didn't feel the need to go to. Or it could be the two hours of standing that I did. Blech.

To keep myself entertained I eye-fucked half of the cute guys there. Only one thing kept me from eyeing the other half, if it wasn't practically statutory rape. Middle school boys are NOT suppose to look that old. Or that hot. Anyways, most of the cute ones were older and taken. Tch.

While standing at my spot, I witnessed a total of six weddings. The first one had this cute white bride and filipino groom taking shots with the littler ring bearers, coin bearers, and flowergirls. It was exceedingly cute and mushy and made me want to have a ceremony like marriage just so I could do cutetsy things at my reception... Then the other five weddings occured (and showed the bride's/groom's impeccable taste in... an unfavorable mate). None of them were quite as cute as the first one, and that more or less cemented me into my no-thankyou position.

Mr. J, your cover is blown! I repeat, your cover is blown! Return to fairie headquarters immediately.

... either that or he really does define metrosexuallity.

Tired and time for Inu Yasha. Night.

Staying after school for any reason whatsoever is a rather tiring experience. Case in point: the past two days. Let's start off with Thursday.

Ms. K really needs to learn when and when not to tell us that something is due. Like those essays. The ones that are suppose to be due this Tuesday? Apparently those were mere teasers to show us what type of questions she'll be asking in future tests. That would be all fine and dandy... if I hadn't written one of them already. Ech. Still learning loads from that class so that's still awesome.

On to Japanese. Holy shit. For a relatively small class, we make far too much noise. Mainly because sensei can't tell people in harsher terms to shut up. She really should though. I actually want to learn in that class, and it's quite annoying when sis is talking to the other girls in front while sitting in front of you and Randy's tapping your back every two seconds or accidently playing footsie with you mid class. Gr.

Mr. R seriously can't teach Physics. Essentially he explains to us the mechanics of what to do for a lab, lets us do the lab, and never gives us actual notes. So, come test time all the material on the test was all information from the book. So I did fairly well, but a lot of people bombed that one.

And art was... art.

Stayed after for the PA meeting. Basically a meeting to formulate what we're planning on doing for the rest of the year. Dan's not as annoying now that he's not an avid follower of Travis, and other stuff. Oh, and Justin's lemon cookies... I didn't care for the sheer lemonness. Everyone else did though.

Afterwards hung out at various locations of the school before the late buses arrived. Annoyed Dan a little bit about the Linkin Park concert last year-ish, sang along to Something Corporate songs with April, and finally met the Justin from BGHS that several people were describing to me. Fun times.

Went to the buses with AJ and encountered Nick and Carlie. I called Carlie Melanie again (oops) but I think she's getting used to me calling her that. From now on I shall remember her actual name!

On the bus ride I got accosted by two freshmen, and played along with their games just to amuse myself. And amuse myself I did. Felt a bit guilty because of the boys was rather cute... if not a bit annoying. Oh well.

Friday:

Some reviewing in Ms. E's class for Trig. Nothing remarkable happened.

In Am. Lit. I completely decimated myself with the Old Man and the Sea quiz. The true and false portion really wasn't all that hard, but the middle section with the evil matching letters just got frustrating. It consisted of questions about the most miniscule and unimportant factors of the book. I really should have just reread the book the night before.

On the way to Psychology I witnessed Steven in a rather revealing dance shirt. Claire and I oogled him all the way down the hallway.

Psychology was interrupted by the representative from Yale visiting. So I went to the meeting and, lo and behold, ended up sitting next to Justin again. The meeting was... not completely informative, but Yale is starting to sound attractive. Oh well. Came back to Psychology (lunch was cut short to two minutes for me) and did some classwork. Easy stuff.

In Art... we had another muffin for a substitute teacher! He was about my height, and had spikey punk hair (and multiple piercings) while in his shirt and tie. Mmph! He escorted the class to the cafeteria for our major's meeting and was the subject of much staring by me and Cristin the entire time. At some point Hoffy came up and asked me about the announcement I wrote for PA. Apparently Ms. W's signature was too sloppy for the office to decipher so they thought that I had tried to forge it. I find that funny.

After that there was an assembly at the auditorium. Lots of sparkley lights (probably bought for use in Les Miserables later on this year) and much disturbing dancing from the student body reps and officers. Predictably, our class officers were the best dancers.

Then dad drove me to the Library where the department's latest show was being held. I got there before Treat did, so I went into the library and researched some stuff on Gestalt psychology for the paper I'll be writing Tuesday night. Then came downstairs and helped Treat with setting up food.

The show wasn't as spectacular as our AIDS show last year, but it still had a decent attendance. I spent much of the first five minutes of the show finishing up the aesthetically pleasing placement of the paper cups, punch bowl, and cookies. Said hi to lots of people.

Jen showed up and there was much hugging and talking. She offered me a ride home, so I said "I'll love you forever! Oh... and yeah, sure." And we were off. Talked about her new, cute boyfriend, local bands with sexiness in them, how she's liking/hating CCHS, and stuff like that. I miss her muchly.

And now, tonight I have to help out at the Hero's Banquet. yay.

Right. 9/11. That's all I care to mention about it.

Unlike a certain newspaper that delights in misquoting me. Really, they made me sound like some sort of rampant, anti-establishment FOB. Jeezy Chreezy. And whoever wrote the article is definitely in need of some grammar lessoning. There really should be a 'that' before the first quotation mark.

Patty, during teen choir rehearsal, sympathized; she and her band were misquoted and slandered by another cohort of the LVRJ, and a friendly call about their mistake turned into something rather ugly. At least Sarah didn't attack me with her copy of the paper when I got there.

I swear, that's the last of it that you'll hear.

Um... not much else to say about today.

Trigonometry was... mathematical. And far too easy for an honors class. (watch me eat those words with a helping of hummis later)

American Lit. was spent discussing... stuff... and working on our "patriotic" alphabet book. Ech. And Ms. E looks something like 50% of Joan Rivers if she's not careful.

Now... Psychology was an entirely different story. Ms. A was off for a townmeeting, so we had a substitute teacher. Who is tall. Blonde. Scandinavian-descended. Brown-eyed. Slim. Oxford shirted. Aspiring writer. Excellent vocabulary. Does not misuse the word 'like.'

Stop the bus, I wanna get off. The entire period I tried not to look at him for fear that my Id would take over control and I would be forced to... do something rather non-conduct. Yes, the man is a walking, talking muffin.

(By the by, muffin=sex. Spread the gospel. And I want a big muffin now... or at least a house of muffin.)

During lunch: "I know just the thing that will Remy that situation... Erm, remedy. I meant remedy." Classic Freudian slip. Sorry about that, A.

Art was spent on bottles. Stupid bottles. Bottles should die a death of plastic-eating turpentine. Oh, but I got to finish off a See's Candy vanilla lollipop so that was good. Wait... that was yesterday. Oops.

Afterwards was my first APC as president. Yay! Erm, things still had a tendency to get loud and distracting (and apparently clearing my throat for attention comes off as condescending, so I'll have to find alternate means of silencing people) but it was more so an informational meeting than anything else. Next one will be more entertaining, with people getting bruised by bamboo sticks! Yeah!.. right.

And now I have a painting to finish. In under four hours... it's do-able, so I'm not too worried.

Yep, I'll just keep on telling myself that.

Vegas Valley Book Fest.

Why Las Vegas? Las Vegas is the fastest growing metropolitan area in the country. The University of Nevada, Las Vegas, is home to the newly created Institute of Modern Letters, whose board members include Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka, Salman Rushdie and Russell Banks. Las Vegas is also the first U.S. city to be designated by the International Parliament of Writers as a City of Asylum for persecuted writers in exile. As the first major public event to celebrate and promote literature in southern Nevada, the Vegas Valley Book Festival will help raise the profile of local literary organizations and expand the audience for humanities programming of all kinds.

Very cool indeed. I shall see if I can get to that one. Scott McCloud (of Understanding Comics fame) shall be there as well. Also not to be missed (if I do happen to go) are Steve Gerber (creator of Howard the Duck) and Jill Thompson (who worked a bit on The Sandman). Hopefully it'll be a huge success, drawing in large crowds of people appreciating all genres and media of literature.

And who knows, this event might be the spark needed to start a Literature major at LVA... but it's far too early to tell. The City of Asylum title may (or may not) herald in an interesting array of authors.

Hmph. "Just a casino town" indeed...

Yes, I know I'm being bad. Taking another break from homework to go online and peruse. It's better than doing this "patriotic" children's book for American Lit. My group members are all fellow cynics, and finding a "patriotic" subject was a challenge for all of us. Originally we were thinking "FireArms of the US," then "Wartime Mistakes of the Government," and then "(In)Famous Killers from America." "The Wild West" would have worked if only we down-played the Donner-party cannibalism and bloody gun fights.

So we settled for "Corporate America: The Backbone of Our Society." This book will definitely be a nice, backhanded compliment to our economy.

Other homework includes: quotes and notes for Am. Lit. as well as vocabulary cards, flashcards for Japanese (60+ vocab words for the first chapter alone), an entire slew of miscellany for Physics, vocabulary for Trig., and a sketchbook assignment for Art.

Yosh! Time to get to work.

Got my picture taken today during art. Blech. At least it was "look-like-Remy" day so I was sporting some nice neutral colors. Quickly got a headache later while working on the current... erm... waterbottle composition assignment. Really, one would expect that everyone's drawing skills were at least competent at this point. Then again, I know of some horrendously unskilled people in the class.

Still... try making any sense of preliminary sketches of any translucent object (i.e. 2 li. bottles) filled with varying amounts of water while also minding the cast shadows and reflected lights. If any of the AP students touches the tape my group put down for markers, heads will roll and souls will be devoured.

While on the subject of souls, I got severa people's this morning. Had to use up the rest of my instant camera before I can get the pics from the concert developed, so I went up to random people (in my lil circle of friends) and snapped away. Took Karen's soul, but then she took my camera for a bit. Only got it back because karma was on my side and the ringing bell distracted her. Poor Tim and Mark pictures!

Psychology was interesting, to say the least. The chapter test was very easy (didn't even have to look at the notes that we could've used) except for three questionable answers for the Coping Methods portion. Blech. Afterwards took the Keirsey personality-type test again and (surprise surprise) I'm still an INFJ. Talked with Lily about various online tests and introduced her to Colorgenics.

Flavey absolutely loves her Martini book. And really, who wouldn't? We are definitely having martini night sometime (but first she has to drag me to the "gay store").

Slept for at least an excess of four hours today. Did not want to deal with 90% of the world, and I woke up a scant two minutes before Nick called me up to tell me 'bout the PA officer's meeting. I still have to write up the agenda for the officer's APC meeting this week. Ech.

Perhaps a confrontation is needed... but not now. I have a headache and no caffiene to combat it. Oh, and no one to push me towards shoving my skeletons out of the closet.

Speaking of skeletons and closets, there's a gallery opening sometime at the end of this week (still a bit fuzzy about whether it's on the 12th or 13th) at the West Sahara Library. My lil Quetzalcoatl shrine's gonna be in it.

Ha, knew it. DMH was stalking the bars after their set on Saturday, but he went to the ones on the balcony. Damn.

::shakes his head:: Catholic cabaret music? Isn't that a bit sacreligious already?

Ash.... Perfect. Absolutely bloody perfect! It had a lot of Tim's bad jokes (told in sexy Irish-ness), Rick being an ass, and Mark... just kinda off to the side since I couldn't really see him from behind all the tallness infront of me. Chaz was playing wonderfully. At several points Tim and Chaz had that guitar-duel-bordering-on-sex moment and it was beautiful. I was singing along to every single song and was, sadly, the only one bouncing up and down for a majority of the songs.

They did: Jesus Says, Girl from Mars, Goldfinger, Cherry Bomb, Walking Barefoot, Shining Light, Folk Song, Kung Fu, A Life Less Ordinary, and Burn Baby Burn. Went insane for all of them (especially ALLO), but was disappointed that they didn't play Submission or Candy. Oh well.

On a side note: when sis and I got to the HardRock, the line already grew to about 1/5 the circumference of the circular casino floor. Shit. And we were still a measely two hours early. I would've wanted us to be five hours early, but dad wasn't willing to drive us over at such an early hour (2:00pm to be exact) and sis was still finishing up her AP homework. Damn.

I'm just hoping that Ash decides to go on tour with Saves the Day come January. They're doing it with Dashboard but... by the time the tour gets here Ash's off to England again. Grr.

So, the experience would've been heightened if a) we were closer b) the girls around me didn't give me bizarre looks while I sang and jumped around c) more people were singing/screaming along and jumping around.

Then again, the room was full of Coldplay fans... so everyone was more or less mellow.

Come Coldplay sis and I got out of the center crowd and walked around, had a bit of an argument, and I left her standing on the side wall until the last song.
Coldplay was good... but their music really isn't the type to be standing up for. I was feeling sleepy mid-set. To keep awake I walked around. There was an abundance of gay guys there (including the same old man sporting the purple sequence suit that was also at BGHS's JCSS and RENT), people taking pictures of themselves at the concert (obvious newbie concerters), and a really cute asian girl couple who were five minutes from sex the entire concert.

Didn't seen anyone that I recognized (short of the old man) so at some point I decided to stand and watch for a bit. This blonde guy kept inching closer and closer to me. Whether it was to get a better view or... some other reason... I'm not sure. So I just went to the other side of the second terrace.

And now I have homework and church... yay...

Still trying to formulate some sort of image for "lunch." It's not so much the imagery (I already have a girl looking through a cookbook with someone's arm strapped to a cutting board nearby) but how I'm going to depict "lunch." So far it's either light through the windows or a watch/clock located somewhere depicting 12:00. The latter is more appealing, but I don't know where to put it. Yeesh.

On a plus side, I'm once again breaking out Exquisite Corpse to peruse the pages and draw some inspiration. A pity that I don't have any copies of the stuff that Dahmer wrote about cooking human flesh. The most I got out of EC was that human fat had a slightly foul taste, bone marrow doesn't make good soup stock, and heroine addicts taste slightly of ginger.

A trip to Manbeef.com is in order.

Well well, ::insert Nicole Kidman "hello" a la Moulin Rouge's Satine here::.

So much stuff happens later on in the week.

First off, I got recognized! Whoo! Very cool indeed. So did Jaron "Lucas" in the Summerlin edition of the RJ for being the musical genius that he is. Christy and I are still profoundly jealous of his instrumental talents. Seven instruments?! I can barely lay claim to playing two very well, let alone seven. Sis and I had issues with the photo's composition though.

Eh, do not want to get my photo taken.

I solemnly swear from now on to stop teasing Karen about a... certain boy. God knows I don't want her to revert to her snake-bite ways. They would definitely make the cute couple, and I know that Lauren has been irking for (another) match making opportunity. Well well, something to keep me occupied.

... if my classes didn't do that already. This year in Japanese I am determined to actually memorize all words given to me. Mainly because I want to be able to talk about certain family members behind their backs since they do that to me in Ilocano already. So I broke out the rainbow-spectra highlighters and went mad marking on my notes.

Speaking of Japanese, say hello to the new president of Asian Pacific Club! I have to talk with sensei about the agenda for this year as well as the sister-school thing.

Still need to think up a concept for that sketchbook project in art. "Lunch" is the word, and current ideas are: cannibalism a la Jeffrey Dahmer, cannibalism a la Cronos, a couple pointing guns at eachother underneath the dinner table, and something about businessmen landing a deal. Choices, always choices.

Okay, now I'm getting scared of getting a lower-than-an-A in Psychology. I need to develop some sort of personal connection with the teacher or else I'm dead. Yeesh. And I need to think up an experiment, but the entire thing isn't due until a little more than a week from now.

At least all I have to do for AP are those essays, which will be done in class.

Nick seemed a bit down yesterday. Wonder what's been eating him up?

Pride's going to be next Thursday instead of this Thursday. Dear lordy!

Everyone should go out and buy every single Operatica cd. A near-perfect fusion of opera and techno that doesn't degrade either musical styles. Thoroughly mind blowing.

I shall be watching Ash in just a few more hours! Whoo!

What's worse, complete repression or near-repression? Damn you Freud!

I feel the urge to go post some artwork on Outminds.com. Just to see what people think about it... although I doubt they'll show any of my more... erm... graphic images. Not so much the sex and nudity, but more so the necrophillia and dismemberment.

Jessia: Oh... that looks cool. S & M?... Wait... that's his intestine?! And that's a... oh! The chunk of arm missing. I see now!... You know you're twisted, right?

Sleep is now much needed... and 9:00 in the morning.... yep.

It's the final night of Americal Idol... scratch that, it's the final episode that really matters. Everything else is Fox's final attempts at milking this season's contestants. Strangely enough, I'm not that excited.

Tch. I told pop that sis needed some serious psychiatric help back... oh... several years ago. Naturally he didn't heed my advice. And now the stress that we're both feeling has made her almost break-down. Almost.

Apparently the egg whites for the chocolate mousse last night wasn't beaten enough, since only an inch of it remained when I arrived home. Everything else was... liquid. This time I beat the egg whites with the mixer, and it should retain some consistancy greater than iced tea.

I still have that chapter to read for Physics, but I'm not stressing that one... too much.

Am. Lit. this year seems like it's going to be quite an interesting class. Already I'm enjoying this homework assignment (rewrite Old Man and the Sea from another character's perspective) (only 10 to 15 sentences long? ha!) since I'm sneeking in some Sandman fanfiction. Heh, go me.

Currently having a nearly uncontrollable urge to swerve my hips like someone from Showgirls or Striptease. Don't ask me why; even I don't... scratch that, it's Fiona Apple's "Slow Like Honey" that's doing this to me.

Yes, I made (another) playlist today.

People in my art class are already beginning to hate/envy me. Great, just what I need.

::swerve::

I must find this Douglas piano-major at school. He goes to my same piano teachers and recognized me from my horrendous piano recital last spring. Cringe.

"I am the man on the side, hoping you'd make up your mind. I am the one who will swallow his pride... Life as the man on the side."

My sketchbook feels unloved.

Yeah, I burned myself out today. Spent a good eight hours sleeping after finishing up Chapter 3. I still have Chapter 4 to read, but it's not too bad.

What am I doing up at this hour? Well, first off I'm watching that Bravo series about Gay Weddings (and I'm probably the only person my age to do so) and it's utterly amazing... mostly likely because it pertains to me much more than the "regular" straight populace.

There was a part that struck a particular chord. One half of the guy couple grew up in a very religious family and, for some time, was studying to be a Catholic Priest. He's friends with a guy and a girl who are ordained ministers. Mid-episode, he writ
es a draft for the wedding ceremony and his fiancee is unnerved by the many references to God. Unlike the other half, his family was almost anti-religious.

After a short quip they kissed and made up, but the incident shook their relationship just a tad. It'll be interesting to see how things turn out.

But, I've also been making chocolate mousse. Probably far more than possibly edible, but it gives me something (again) to keep my mind off of things. I don't trust myself to use my sketchbook at the moment. Piano's not really something one should be playing in the dead of night. Poetry had been long foresaken (really, there was only one good poem followed by many attempts at recapturing that first one), so short from screaming until my lungs deflate, I cook.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow at all.

"But when I wake up in the morning is it going to be another ugly day?"

Taking another long break from working on homework. At the moment the sky is completely clear of clouds and the atmosphere is an amazing chalk blue. The kind of day that almost makes you feel like you could fall into the sky.

I'd be outside relishing the moment, but I don't want to end up looking like black charcoal courtesy of the sun's lovely rays of death! Erm... yeah.

The house is insanely underlit. Practically none of the window shutters are open, so even less light is getting into the rooms. Keeping the majority of windows from facing East and West was definitely a smart move to keep the heating and cooling costs down, but that means that I'm devoid of sunlight.

Don't get me wrong, I hate being in sunlight. But just because I'm a nocturnal animal doesn't mean that I enjoy darkness 24/7. How else am I suppose to tell if my painting's colors are accurate?

The scratchboard assignment is almost complete. A few sections of colored pencilling and some more watercolor and the cursed piece of slate will be over and done with!.. And I've just been informed that it's not due tomorrow, but on Wednesday instead. Oh... great. Well, still have plenty to keep myself busy with.

Been listening to Something Corporate again. It's been a while (for quite some time the whiny emo-boy vocals got onto my nerves) and I'm enjoying what I'm hearing. Which is always a good thing. So much better than not enjoying what I'm hearing. At any given moment. Erm... yeah. So, what inspired this sudden burst of SC goodness? Um... a well written SC/Good Charlotte slashfic? Hey, I'm a sucker for sap... only when I'm hyped up on caffiene.

Yep, sis was right. When I'm happy and excited I'm great to be around, but when my normal, cynical self I'm sour company. Cheers to all those fellow manics out there.

Joan of Arc has successfully transitioned from a bound woman who looks like a black Sinead O'Conner (when I underestimated exactly how dark the highlights were) into a bound woman who looks like a regularly-lit Sinead O'Conner.

Yep. What do you do when there's no milk for the cereal? Pour some nice coffee instead! At least I've got about 25% of the fiber I need for today.

Ha! Behold the "triangular" trade routes in action!

... or not. Time to stop these caffiene trips.

It's too early in the day to be insane anyways.

And here's some more just shortly after (because I felt like comparing the two results):

At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquility and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).

You are an emotional and sensitive person. You are inclined to delight and wallow in all things that give pleasure to your senses but nevertheless your tastes are refined and you reject anything that is indecent or vulgar.

In spite of all the opposition, you are insisting that your goals are realistic but circumstances are forcing you to compromise. You are not very happy with this situation but there is little that you can do about it. You have very strict standards which you try to apply to everyone who enters your sphere of influence.

All the distress and agitation is the result of attempting to avoid any form of stimulation or excitement. The situation in which you find yourself at this time is one of hostility and therefore you are under considerable pressure. You are very irritable and prone to angry outbursts. You are in a mental quandary and you could be experiencing physical problems.You are very distressed by the apparent hostility of everyone around you and you feel coerced and subjected to intolerable pressures. You are resentful of what you regard as unreasonable demands on you but the situation is such that you feel powerless to control it and at this time you just don't know 'which way to turn'.

You are completely worn out and you are not in the mood for any further demands on your resources. The situation - such as it is - has rendered you quite helpless, unable to continue the mental battle that you have been pursuing for some considerable time. Enough is enough. All you would like to do now would be to have some time for yourself, to find a peaceful situation where you can recuperate in your own time.

You have so many ideas that you would like to revitalize but you need to realize a stable and peaceful condition to do so. Once you can free yourself from all the aggravation and tension around you, you will make strides that may amaze you. You will not be prevented from achieving all the things you so desire.

... uh huh...

Ladies and gents, this morning's colorgenics results (with added commentary):

You are a very sensitive person and you try hard (perhaps a little too hard) to make favorable impressions and to be recognized by your peers. But you have that inherent need to feel appreciated and admired and you are easily hurt if all of your endeavors go by unappreciated or not acknowledged. Stop trying so hard.

(Eh, I'm about as sensitive as... erm... Well, normally I am. Just... not at the moment...?)

You are full of stress at this time. It would seem that you are having more than your fair share of trials and tribulations and you are looking for a way out. You are not quite sure which way to go but the advice is - 'Stop trying so hard'.

(Hmm... entire weekend minus a two hour party break doing homework? Yep.)

Conditions are rather confusing at this time. You would like to involved with a particular person or a particular situation but you are holding back. You find it difficult to make a decision.

(And no, it is not Steven again. Or that Justin guy that I have yet to meet ::coughKarencough::)

The tension that you are experiencing at this time is perhaps due to physical and/or mental frustration. It would appear that you are not appreciated and as a consequence, the situation is most disagreeable. You seek personal recognition and the appreciation of others to compensate for the lack of like minded people with whom to ally yourself. You would like to surrender and merge with others but your inherent self-restraint makes it difficult for you to open up. This disturbs you as you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You want to be liked, admired and appreciated for yourself.

(Yeesh, this is making me seem like quite the narcissist. And I'm really not as bad as they make me appear... ::looks side to side::)

You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards - and come what may - you abide by them.

(::nods:: But I'm still not quite the masochist that smart-Em is. History AP and the supplementary cram course?! Oh, and Bio AP as well.)

The stress that you are experiencing at this time is due to the present situation - a situation of your own making. But trying to ignore it, hoping that it will go away, will only aggravate it further. What you need to do is to slow down - to relax and re-think the situation and by going slow, you may be amazed to find that most of your problems will resolve themselves.

(One problem, I've been letting the situation fester for quite some time--damned bouts of minor depression--and so far nothing has done much to help. And slow down? Not bloody likely.)

In Conclusion: Whatever it is that's bothering me at the moment, I have to confront it first instead of letting stress take up most of my frontal lobes. Oh, and to stop trying so hard.

... Right-o. Dunno how I'll apply that to actual life situations, but always good to know.

... unless it's a genetic profile of all the things I'm most likely going to die from, in which case that might kill the last remaining decades of my life. -_-;;

Yeah, I'm being a bad boy. Taking a good hour out of my reading for... general online stuff. Sis is doing a lot of mock-commentary on BritSpears' HBO concert behind me.

Been chowing down on many helpings of fruit salad. Grandma somehow figured that that was the only way that I'd ever eat fruits, so she puts a lot of sugar in it... and then tells me not to eat too much because it's too sweet. Riight.

Killed dad's wallet at Dick Blick buying this year's supplies. $300+. Oops.

Crazy Em's birthday part at LQ was fun fun. And yes, tiramisu beats double German chocolate cake. ... unless you're allergic to alcohol like Denise...

Oral fixation not going so well at the moment. Been munching on those fried noodles for the past two hours while reading about the effects of the Africa slave populace in South Carolina during the colonial period.

I miss the appearance of Diet Coke w/ Lemon at my school.