Swoon. Black hair-dyed boys are uber sexy.

The secret recipe for the perfect pale skin tone:
- 3 parts cadmium red medium hue
- 2 parts yellow ochre
- as much titanium white as needed
- mixture : ivory black/burnt umber ratio of 20:1 for shades

Took me three hours last night, but I think I can finally turn Karen's face into the appropriate skin tone. Before, she looked positively Pacific. (Ah, got to love the alliteration)

So, yesterday after cleaning for a couple of hours (still gonna clean throughout the week... ugh) the family went to church and then to the movies to catch 28 Days Later. The movie is excellent. Unlike most zombie movies, this one had a (somewhat gritty) sense of class. Not quite the exploration of the emotion rage, but the juxtaposition of human anger and that of the infected have profound similarities. Other pros of the movie: there was no big moral message at the end, the characters were by no means one-dimensional, gratuitous nudity of the good kind (male), and best of all: animal rights activists were the cause of the fall of British civilization.

Before the movie started they played the trailer for The Order. Need to go watch that movie. It's Heath Ledger as a priest. An ass-kicking priest. I'd say "let's all go watch it together!" but I know that you're not a big fan of horro flicks.

Back to the British thing. Sis didn't get the Lewis Carroll reference in the Academy Award winning animated short "The Chub Chubs." On the drive to the movies she proceeded to tell me the entire plot of the short (much to the chagrin of the parents) before I had to (bluntly) point out the parallels. Having a sibling with a Dory-esque memory is a pain.

Stopped by the mall to pick up my new glasses (Emporio Armani and uber-sexy) and I chatted with Patty, the lady who was fitting the glasses for me. She recognized me as my dad's son and we talked a bit 'bout the painting of mine that he has hanging in his office. Then she mentioned one of her co-workers that had graduated from LVA but put his teacher career aside because he got married and has kids now. At said moment, I look over her shoulder and witnessed said employee (looking very priestly in his all black wear sans roman collar) breaking out the Saturday Night Fever dance moves. We laughed.

Today's scheduel: cleaning, lunch, piano (have to memorize a song I should've been practicing all week), dinner, cleaning, painting, sleep. Technically the last two will be done tomorrow since I imagine that I won't get to those before midnight.

Graah...

Thought that I should post some rather amazing paintings that I've come across online (and these people are all the ones I have to be better than... thank god I started seriously studying art early).

Paul McCormack - "Hope": There is no way in HELL that that piece is watercolor. ::jealous::

Yuqi Wang - "The Year of the Dog": Chinese imagery with chiaroschuro and dramatice renaissance techniques? I'm in love.

Patricia Watwood - "Summer Peach": Normally I can't stand still lifes since most people do shite jobs on them, but this one had a strange sense of melancholy that I couldn't resist.

Richard Whitney - "Sandy": The values are down-right goregous. And for such a small painting (9"x6") the detail is astounding.

Marvin Mattelson - "Plughead": A marriage of realism and surrealism like a Magritte painting with Dali technique.

Han Wu Shen - "Mother's Bracelet": God... look at those hands.

Jacob Collins - "Self Portrait with Palette": The lighting... oh the lighting.

Thanks to the Art Renewal Center for the amazing images.

Now I don't know which is worse: a growing sense of despair or my ambition flaring up.

Bah. Apparently I can't post big. (Good news for you all, bad news for me). So, here're the important bits.

What the hell. I'll give that survey a shot.

Afterall, it's not often that I'm feeling genuinely infinite.

And everyone should know feel how that feels like... or at least know what it is.

So..

(insert said survey with alternating honest and whitty reparte)

And that's that.

I want you to teach me to be happier. Or at least hide the sadness as well as you do.

And not in the fake-happy or stone wall defenses kinda way.

... Evil mosquito doesn't want to get close enough for me to flatten it.

Tyler (the other one from the east coast): Houseguests suck. If you really want to have a no-hassle clean up job, just section off half the house. They don't need to use bathroom anyways. And when they start to really reek, hose them down and wash em with Lysol. Lots of Lysol.

Ah, if only.

Since it's summertime I figured that I could go get some of that summer reading off of my chest. And no, it's not the required reading for AP Lit/Comp next year (although I probably should get started on that...) but it's all the stories online that I've been meaning to read religiously.

Recently I've been reading Comicality's stories. Even though I'm now older than all the boys in his stories, but when I started reading his work I was their age. Damn, been there from the beginning... Five years already?

It seems like the only time I have to work on my art pieces are at night. The rest of the family is always up and about during the day that I have no time to myself since people are so keen to ask me to do favors (specifically sis... oh how her debts are piling up) and/or letting me sleep.

I need human contact. And not the online-through-AIM or talking-over-the-phone contact. I want someone to drive up to my house one night so I have to sneak out and then we'd go driving almost all night long and then come back to my house at 4am just before dad leaves for golf and grandma wakes up to say her prayers.

I want someone to show me stars that you can't see from where I live.

And I don't care if it's romantic or purely friendly. I just want to go out and not have the family with me. Not even my shadow (sis).

Being stuck in the house with loads of boredom and not enough inspiration leads to the furthering of bad habits. The worst part is that I'm wasting resources which my family could use.

Don't mean to be depressing. Honest.

I'm just feeling anxious at the moment for no apparent reason.

So, new quest.

I'm trying to find an image of the book cover of Down With Love from the movie (not the actual book available now).

it's rather hard to find it though. Damn.

...

Scratch that. I found it. Yay.

Mmm... I completely disagree. Putting lemon in tea makes it so much better.

Taking a break from cleaning (grandma asked me to move 'round several large, potted plants before deciding that she liked their positions before I moved them) to go online and see if anyone's on... and no one is.

Apparently my away message died this morning while I was taking a nap and several people IM'd me. Oops. Time to find out who they are and apologize profusely.

Hey, not dead yet. That's a good sign.

My back hurts and my stomach's growling at me again. Shuddup, you. There's nothing good to eat in the house besides plain white rice.

Robert Redford was hot in The Great Gatsby. Shock, I'm agreeing with something that Eisen said. Eh, it's really not the first time (especially when it comes to musicals) but still...

RENT is coming back to Las Vegas in March. Should I spend money to watch it?... Hell yes.

And in other news... uh... erm...

Hey, anyone want to distract me at the moment?

Hah. Right. I only seem like a nice guy sans sarcasm because, compared to when I'm being all cynical, I'm just average when I'm being nice. It's the contrast that makes those (few) moments so memorable.

Cleaning sucks. And I just learned that no, the guests aren't coming this Saturday nor Monday (as previously planned) but all three are coming next Saturday. NEXT SATURDAY.

Didn't mean to sound like Harry just now but... why the hell am I cleaning so hard for? I almost finished my room (and that's saying a lot) before I found out this news. So tomorrow I plan to vacuum and then clean something that'll take me "all day" (possibly the small hallway upstairs).

Heh, that's funny. Listening to Phantom Planet's "The Guest" right now.

And off to another random tangent. Before the end of school I burned a cd for Nikki of some really good Phantom Planet songs... including their rendition of "Winter Wonderland" (I shite you not). A week later, Nikki comes back to me with this story: "So I was feeling all down and emo and depressed while listening to that cd you gave me. And then I heard this one song and I'm like 'oh, I think I've heard this one.' Well, when it got to the chorus I realized... this is a fucking Christmas song! I was pissed for about a minute, but listening to the rest of that song did make me feel better."

Ah, you've got to love her and her ex-boyfriend turned "friend with frequent benefits" (I like to call him Mr. Inches). They check out boys together at Borders, Barnes & Nobles, and other assorted bookshops.

So, it's not quite a bookshop (unless you count that small used book section downstairs) but I've decided that libraries can be surprisingly good cruising areas. Well, man-watching anyways. It doesn't really have that sort of hook up atmosphere. Other than quoting from eachother's favorite books, there's not much in the way of flirting when you have to be "quiet."

I mean, I can think of more opportunities to hit on someone in church than in a library. And no, I'm not talking about priests or personal experiences.

Stupid email. Now I'm gonna shirk my bed for a good 24 hours. Bah. I can always sleep on the couch.

Oh, and I've said it once, but I'll say it again. I've had it with bi boys. Before, I only ment the ones that resided in Vegas hoping that there were a few decent ones out there in the rest of this blue globe. Nope. Haven't found one yet, and all the ones that I've talked to turned out disappointing. So, my abstinance from bi boys now spreads to practically all corners of the world.

Ha. Empty promise, I know. Now I'm stalling time so I won't have to go to bed. Yeesh.

Bad thing about being raised to be religious: your religion of choice may change (or vanish completely) yet your superstitions persist.

HikariHerrsek : I think, just for fun, the chef at French Laundry should put out a barbecue cookbook
starseiya: hmm...
starseiya: oh, speaking of chefs... Jamie Oliver
HikariHerrsek: (French Laundry = Top tier of restaurants in america... They keep track of when you've been there, you don't choose what you eat, they check to see what you've tried and bring you completely new tailored 8-piece courses each time)
starseiya: lemme guess, no set prices as well?
HikariHerrsek: *grin*
HikariHerrsek: you got it.
HikariHerrsek: Eventually, he created a cookbook of all the things he does...
HikariHerrsek: some of the things are just obscene, you'd never make them...
starseiya: like?
HikariHerrsek: (how to properly prepare a boar's head)
starseiya: ... but...
starseiya: ... I've helped uncle do that before
HikariHerrsek: o.O
HikariHerrsek: Okay, the people who buy the cookbook to show it off and maybe try one or two things, would never try that ;)

Followed by...

HikariHerrsek: I'm bored. Wanna sex me up?

Add to that, a typical conversation:

ChildofthyNight: yeah he was the guy i dated
ChildofthyNight: why
starseiya: hrm... does he go to Green Valley?
ChildofthyNight: yep
starseiya: ah, thought I recognized him
starseiya: (going through XY personals to see who I know)
ChildofthyNight: yeah thats how he met his ex
starseiya: it's sad that I know half the guys on the site
ChildofthyNight: just a little
ChildofthyNight: :-D
starseiya: especially since most of them are over 20...
ChildofthyNight: oh well
ChildofthyNight: your 18
starseiya: 17
ChildofthyNight: same thing
starseiya: right
starseiya: except for the whole statutory rape thing
ChildofthyNight: it's close enough and as long as you don't get caught it's all right
starseiya: true true

Oh, and if you want to see a bit of what I've been working on for the art department, go here (warning: graphic intense).

Yeah, I know I'm stalling for time. What else is new?

Oh. My. God.

The posts from 2002 are back.

::whimpers like Tyler::

Ahem. Allow me to take this moment to give a resounding, Matrix-worthy response to the new layout that blogger has created.... Whoa.

I was gonna go bitch about how much I wanted to post stuff on here last night but couldn't since they were overhauling the code, but the newness is really pretty.

Anyways, it's interesting to see how everyone's (barely) surviving the summer removed from physical, real life contact with other friends. It seems like, now that we all have time to breathe since AP/homework is nonexistant (for now), we have the time to be introspective about our actions throughout the past school year.

Or we could be wasting as much time as possible on online quizzes (yay!).

To quote Emily: "god, i'm such a fuckin COW!"

Recently I've had a bad habit of putting up my away message on AIM, and then I accidently fall asleep and leave people hanging for the rest of the night. Right, time to remedy that. I'll keep a pitcher of cold, black coffee in the fridge so if I ever need a wake up call, I'll be sure to drink some and stain my teeth appropriately.

Ack. Sarcasm. Bad bad.

But if you think I'm sarcastic now, be glad that you didn't know me at the end of middle school. At that point I became the king of deadpan sarcasm, so no one could tell if I was being serious or if I was kidding. Damn, no wonder people steered clear of me.

::listens to "It's the End of the World"::

A word to the wise: whenever trying to make a cheese sauce (specifically a parmesan one for some pasta) never ever use skim milk or the pre-grated cheese. They NEVER combine together. Oh, and never try to make that in the microwave since it gets messy. Thanks for the tip, Tyler.

Ran into Matt's ex online. (one of the many...) Hah. That was rather interesting.

I'm still not sure of what I want to paint on that big ol' thing of blanket. I wanted to do something semi-controversial (full on sex), but then I wouldn't be able to include that in next year's solo art show. Now I'm torn between something comical but along the same lines (an image of a rooster and two hand exercise balls entitiled "A Cock and Bull Story") or something similar to the subject but far more subtle. Aye, decision decisions.

In other news, that question that I've been asking friends all summer is getting some interesting responses from the forums at OutMinds.com:

The second fool is jus in denial. I mean you would ahve to believe (even if its on some unconcious level) that love is out there to try and find it. There wouldn't be any motivation. You would want to prove your self wrong because you want to be wrong which would mean that as much as you try to convey the perception that you don't believe in love you actually do.

So with that said I would say the first one is the bigger fool.

Finally! Someone else who agrees with me. Ahem, yes.

And in other news (going back to the whole online quizzes thing):


You are Persephone, from "The Matrix."
Tough cookie, you are,
yet there are strains of sadness
and desire that lie beneath you-
of course, you wouldn't want anyone to know.
You're too busy putting up a facade.
What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Yep.

Time to go clean the house. Oi. And I spilled half of my crushed frankencense on the carpet (along with the corned beef and rice dinner from two nights ago, but different carpeted area) so I have vacuum that one up laboriously. Sigh.

I hate cleaning for house guests.

Didn't go for a walk this morning (that's what I'm usually doing at about this time) because my walking outfit is getting washed and my legs need a break before I get (another?) stress fracture.

I should make it a point to feed the birds at the lake (except for the rats-with-wings) whenever I pass by. Even though I'm not really suppose to do that. Community law and all.

Ahem... People shouldn't be so damn squirmy while I'm drawing them nude. Honestly.

I need to stop by a library so I can look through some art books. My mind has hit a rather nasty snag. I'm suppose to have at least 15 pieces done this summer (technically only five, but I have to do 10 more to try to win this $10,000 prize) and I've only completed one. Une. Uno. Ichi. So, instead of a lack of inspiration, I've reached a lack of motivation snag. Boo.

Those are the worst. And it's really hard to get out of them. Like me trying to get out of the whole procrastinating thing last year. Not gonna happen quickly.

So, I need to go looking through books. Except, I've already exhausted the books at Summerlin and Rainbow library. Hmm... ::waves to Karen::

Grandma should learn not to screw around with recipes for the sake of making them "healthy choice." It tends to make them... well, inedible. And she wonders why the family only eats a few of the things that she makes.

(cultural side note: As bad as people in America are about calling generic items by large brand names--like Kleenex instead of tissue--filipinos are worse. We don't restrict our use of brand names to the actual products, but to other items that have similar properties. Like grandma calling any low-fat recipe "Healthy Choice" even though it's not wrapped up in a plastic package and sitting in a grocery freezer somewhere. Or her calling any sauce, be it soy sauce, oyster sauce, or even caramel sauce, by the name "A1.")

I've been listening to my Tori Amos "Spark" single.

And I swear that if my grandma dare annoy me today I will destroy something of hers.

take the "Which Funkified Anime Internet Emoticon Are You Quiz" @ undead friday.
That's weird. I'm surprised that anyone else still used that face since people (for some UNGODLY reason) enjoy the sideways emicons. Bah. I stare vacantly at them. -_-;;

Been getting postcards from Barto's romp 'round Europe with his German foreign-exchange peoples. From France he sent the requisite Eiffel Tower one (only available at the gift shop in the actual tower so people can say "Ha! See? I really did go (near) to the top!"). The one from England was a fine example of British humor: Prince William's head. Just his head, with the card in the shape of said head. I laughed.

And I should never ever try to be healthy again. This past week I've been waking up in the morning to go jogging/walking for half an hour to keep the blood pumping. Each time I stop at the top of the bridge overlooking the lake, I get bombarded by these pesky white flies. Well, today I took a closer look at a couple of them resting on the rail... and they're mosquitoes. Ew. I accidently inhaled a couple yesterday, too!

On a brighter side, the ducks and geese have grown accustomed to my presence. Joy. Now they only scurry away when I'm two feet away, instead of ten.

Finished the Harry Potter book sometime yesterday. Oh dear lord, the series is getting rather dark. That's a good thing. But I know many friends who will utterly hate the ending. Makes for nice angsty slash fics though.

Now... time to kill some... erm, time... on the OutMinds.com forums. Tah.

Here we go, some nice table-y madness:

shyaku Magic Number 13 Job 9 to 5 Lifer Personality I'd Quite Like One Temperament As High As A Very High Kite Sexual Gay Likely To Win The World Cup Me - In A Word Belligerent Colour

chuck Magic Number 13 Job Conservationist Personality A Worrier, I Worry That I Worry Too Much Temperament Cool And Calm Sexual Gay Likely To Win A Duel With Pistols Me - In A Word Divine Colour

buddha Magic Number 13 Job Porn Star Personality Chancer Temperament What You Lookin' At? Sexual Gay Likely To Win A Nobel Prize Me - In A Word Genius Colour

And now, other people:

vashtstampd Magic Number 20 Job Porn Star Personality I'd Quite Like One Temperament Sweet Natured Sexual If I Have To Likely To Win Some Lubricant Me - In A Word Effervescent Colour

kla2baradanikto Magic Number 11 Job Criminal Personality Slacker Temperament An Oft-Exploding Volcano Sexual If I Have To Likely To Win Some Lubricant Me - In A Word Chinny Colour

hikariherrsek Magic Number 20 Job Computer Nerd Personality Multiple Temperament Unflappable Sexual Whatever, Whenever, Whoever Likely To Win The Wrath Of My Peers Me - In A Word Effervescent Colour

childofthynight Magic Number 15 Job Serial Killer Personality Slacker Temperament All Bark, No Bite Sexual Gay Likely To Win Some Lubricant Me - In A Word Divine Colour Brought to you by MemeJack

That last one's a bit of a hoot, actually.

Oh. My. Lord. How could I let this slip my radar. And I call myself a Dr. Who fan too. Added bonus, Sean Biggerstaff is one of the voice actors.

Getting close to the end now. Oh yes.

Dammit, I'm obsessing over rather small mistakes at the moment.

I hate large quantities of caffiene. They don't make me edgy, they make me paranoid and wide-eyed.

Heh... according to a friend's definition, a religion is "the opiate of the masses, usually entailing a regular ritual of sorts." In that case, I need to convert.

Definitely feeling the after-effects. Eeee.

I'm close to giving in and getting myself a DeviantArt.com account. Don't think that I want other people perusing my artwork in that environment though... but that's just the perfectionist in me talking.

I think this could possibly be withdrawl I'm feeling?

I need to get in contact with people and apologize profusely.

I need to lay off the caffiene thanks to some slight hallucinations last night while reading the book. (I made a nice little post about it last night before finally sleeping at 5am... and Blogger refused it. Pricks.)

I need to stop thinking about numerous people. It leads to rather uncomfortable nights.

I need to start crackin' on my AP pieces. Oi.

Today I had a grand total of... four Starbucks doubleshots. And right now I made myself a (rather bitter) cafe con leche with an equivalent amount of caffiene in it. That means only one thing...

Yes, ladies and gents. I've given in and become a Catholic.

... which is what I might say had I been a character in the movie Wilde, but no. Although... during dinner the family had fun discussing what I would do if I ever did become a priest.

"Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I have committed acts of masturbation several times since my last confession."
"Oh... well, be sure to clean up properly. We wouldn't want to leave any incriminating white spots like a certain former president, now would we?"

Seriously. But I have been overlooking my whole stance on faith and my views on religion ever since an unlikely friend has recently found Jesus (as cheesy as that sounds). Don't worry, I don't feel like becoming a wanton Baptist any time soon.

Nor do I want to really talk about it just now. Thus, the reason for all the caffiene I am about to imbibe...

I have a copy of the fifth book.

Speaking of religious, has anyone noticed how Catholic the treatment of the fifth Harry Potter book has been: the first copy arrives escorted into NYC (beginning procession in mass) and is placed in a secure, clear acrylic case (tabernacle) where everyone can see it and anticipate it's release but cannot go near it for fear of holy justice (reverence of the Host) and finally people wait in lines to recieve a copy of the well protected original (Communion).

As that one guy from the movie Priest said: "Are you Catholic? It takes one to know one."

Right. Back to the book. I still have 300 pages left before I can read some spoiler emails from my POWSN list.

Nighters.

Yeah, so I hear that Em is down in California and is wreaking havoc with Tyler and Aaron. What? And they didn't give me a ring? So not cool.

What is cool is that Christine went with sis and I to go watch Alex & Emma (yes, she's finally acting girlie, even though she can still pull off the butch-tanktop better than half the lesbians I know) and students of American history (specifically those taught by Kloster/Kraus) would appreciate all the little jokes. Funny stuff.

HAN and I agreed that the writing process (for a novel, anyways) was more or less like the movie. Sis, having no great interest in writing, just nodded.

"Ah, the ending was so romantic. That movie makes me believe in the power of... stenography. I want to learn it and turn it into a Naked Lunch-esque experience."

"Shut up, Chuck."

Afterwards we walked over to Barnes & Noble to snag a book or two. Christine got a Terry Pratchet book while I got a rather huge magazine (seriously, it's like two feet long) and sis got aching feet from all the walking.

There were Harry Potter fans everywhere waiting to get their books. I was tempted to come running after one of them screaming "FREAKS!!!" when I realized two things: 1) I would get attacked by a mob of angry housewives and 2) I'd be one of said freaks if I had the money and patience to wait around and get a copy. I'll wait until the dust has settled and the book is at Costco.

Oh, and don't bother watching the 60's version of Fahrenheit 451 (hey, spelled it right the first time). The movie completely butchers the book so that it lost most of the emotional impact and rhythm which the actual book possesses. What's worse, it's not as entertaining. And the old woman with the books, magazines, and the match looks positively demonic.

Was watching some Def Poetry on HBO (until it ended and Wilde came on) and I've decided that if I really wanted to be an activist, I'd have to learn how to perform the written and spoken word. Heh, and J. Fizzle was rather funny.

Karen's portrait is coming along nicely, but I had to cheat on the skin tone. She looks rather mediterranean... but at least it doesn't look like she's a festering corpse like the last time I tried painting her all pale-like.

Eh, it still looks like her. I think I'll try for the pale complextion again after the oil has dried. Had to drop it off on the fireplace tile since it's still keeping me up at night.

Post #1444

Oops, forgot to keep counting em.

HikariHerrsek: Hugs are happy. I like hugs. Best form of affectoin.
HikariHerrsek: affection*
HikariHerrsek: hugs > sex
starseiya: yes

Tyler's funny.

And now, shots from the "lake" infront of my house from this afternoon's shinanigans. Yes.

























Yep, I had fun. Got to the lake way before sunset, and Halley wanted to feed the ducks so we went driving for almost half an hour trying to find a place that sells cheap bread. Then we fed the ducks (and one had a flock-of-seagulls haircut with a pink/orange beak, so I knew that it wasn't from 'round here). At twilight the big carps in the lake started going after the bits of bread, and they were HUGE. Easily 12 inches... eh, I still wouldn't eat anything from the lake.

Oh, and we felt sorry for the small ducklings so we fed them the most. Yep.

Ahem... Halley? Please shave sometime. My face can't take the constant exfoliation.

Searching on Yahoo, along with links to this page and Paul's, came up with this.

# "I'm horrible with numbers and no matter how hard I tried to rig the outcome of the game, I always ended up with living in a shack with a yellow Pinto."
# Shyaku

Eeepo. Don't remember why I said that.

My Life in Blue

It makes me want to draw gorgeous glamrock boys in a slightly anime-esque style. Mmph!

You are Emily- HOOPLA!!! You're one of the nifty
ones! You massoftwotits are huge, but Jillie
still has love for her wifey.
Who are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay. Well, it's a bit inevitable that I got Emily since everyone is turning into Emily except for Emily. But yeah, people should make more quizzes with people that they know being the results.

Hmm... I think I'll do that myself. Hehehe...

In other news, Karen scares me. No, not the flesh and blood Karen; the freaky, perpetually staring-at-me Karen that I have drying in my room at the moment. I've reached the point in the painting process where the painting is starting to take a life of it's own. Which is fine (especially for something as personal as a portrait)...

But I couldn't sleep last night since everytime I looked over she was looking at me. It's like sleeping next to the Mona Lisa. Yeesh.

I finally gave up trying to sleep and played some Guilty Gear X2 instead. Heh, Tyler thinks that Bridget (the transvestite, yoyo-slinging and teddy bear throwing nun) is cute. Now I don't feel so dirty about thinking the same.

This morning I was going to act like Eisen for a bit and go jogging for three hours... ha. Ha ha. No. Fell asleep and didn't wake up until sis came knocking to borrow my cd player. I'll (try to) be healthy tomorrow.

I need to start swimming again. Like the Duck does. And yes, I can so identify with the whole pants thing... except that they're sis' pants, not mine.

Which is excessively weird now that I think about it, but it's past noon, I haven't had anything to eat except for seven glasses of iced tea (yum), Halley is discussing the merits of Shinobu's backseat, and my head is doing pirouettes.

Joy.

Oh, and I'm listening to music from the summer of 2001 when I was a member of a band. Ah, the (somewhat) painful memories of old. And Mark attempting to sing on key, but his ecstacy-butchered brain couldn't cut it.

But it could be worse. Earlier today I was acting like a girl and listening to my old Jewel cd. Oh Jewel, why did you have to go Mariah Carey? Why?

Oh, and one art assignment down... nine more to go. Sure, it'll only take me about five hours for each piece. Now I need to decide what subject matter I should do. Yeesh.
Decisions, decisions. There's always decisions.

Heh, grandma thinks that I'm going anorexic. Just because I don't eat her cooking doesn't mean that I'm going for the skeleton look--I just don't like her cooking. Which is why, for the past week, I've been at the stove whipping something edible up at 11:00pm.

Speaking of skeleton (or twig to be more precise) I learned one too many things about Nikki's ex-boyfriend (now a friend with frequent benefits) Cody. 'Course, they're not all BAD things, but I don't feel like going after another bi boy for a while.

Heh, silly Quixote.

Erm, time to stop rambling, huh?

I'm happy to say that it was all just momentary euphoria. Yep, I'm done acting like a goofy idiot (for now...).

Yesterday went to the All American Rejects concert. Definitely one of the best concerts (and the one of two) that I've been to this year. Nikki came along with sis and I. Loads of fun, and Nikki and I were cruising the entire crowd in between sets.

Oh, and Tyson (lead singer of AAR) came out to sing the last song of the set with Hotwire (whose bassist is adorably flaming). And there was much rejoicing.

... I need to watching CAMP. A musical theatre summer camp?! Why the hell didn't I go to one of those when I was younger? Karen, we're watching this. Oh, and one of the leads is definitely easy on the eyes. It's a musical that I'd definitely go see! July 25th ::marks calendar::.

Filipino musical coach? Yeah, I can see that.

And now I have to go to church. Yeah, it's Father's Day. I'm obligated to. Dammit.

Hm... just recently I rediscovered the web comic I did for an assignment during the school year.

A Walk Inbetween

Tyler liked it a lot. 'm happy.

Slanted/lop-sided grins will be the death of me.

Sis thinks that I resemble either Ghost from The Matrix (minus facial hair) or Joan from The Passion of Joan Of Arc. Now I can't wear half of my collar shirts since closely cropped hair doesn't really match with them.

I hate change.

And there's a reason why I cut off conversations after they've gone on for almost three hours.

Once again, everyone's going forward and I'm left behind in the dust.

... Jesus Christ, Chuck. Don't do it.

Don't go falling for him just because he's charming and handsome and pretty and chivalrous and caring and quirky like you and intelligent and has good taste in practically everything (except women) and...

and... well...

You've been down that road before. Hell, he's even the same age as the last time. Don't do it again. For your sanity's sake DON'T DO IT AGAIN!

... so what if you're going to be lonely for the rest of the summer/life?

Man...

Tyler's great.

And you better leave it at that.

...

I've had it up to here with stupid bi guys and CK-1's.

Yes... today is a day for wanton, 5 sec+ staring at cute men.

First, the hotness behind the counter at the movies.

Then, Ewan. Enough said.

Followed by that other guy who works at the theater.

Then this cute boy at Borders. Several cute boys.

Now, Jamie Oliver.

... Man, I don't know whether or not my revived libido is a blessing or a bane.

Went and watched Down With Love again with friends. This time 'round, I got to bypass that messy thing called plot and basked in the sexy Ewan-ness. Sadly, Halley couldn't come since he has to have lunch with his mom since he's moving down to Long Beach to be with his boyfriend this Sunday. Sigh.

There goes my fun on friday nights.

And he's finally gotten over the entire thing that happened on Sunday night. Stupid cop. Public parks are made to be used after 11pm, idiot. Don't really care about the city-wide ordinances.

Spent about two hours cutting my own hair. Yep, I don't resemble a shaggy dog anymore... well, in the midst of cutting, I looked like one of the girls from TATU. Now I look like a member of the military who had his first buzzing about two months ago. Still not finished; there's this area of semi-long hair (the entire back area) which is threatening to make my hair look like a mullet.

Bah. I should have had it professionally cut.

And people are leaving tomorrow. Matt's heading off to politics camp (haha) and Halley's driving down to Long Beach to drop off more stuff at his apartment.

Man, I wish I had his courage. Then, if the situation ever came up, I could go Felicity and move to a new city just to be near the guy that I like. But I'm chicken shite, so that's not happening any time soon.

Applying the first layer of real skin tone on Karen's portrait. Right now, I haven't blended the lines along the lips (or given them their highlights) so her smile resembles a cut across her face. Yep, need to clean that one up.

... I should go to bed. Stressful actions (in this instance, working frantically on a rather large art piece in a moment of motivation/inspiration) performed while sick does not help recovery at all.

I'm all dizzy at the moment. Whee.

And I'm still bitter that blogger lost most of my 2002 posts.

If I were a drag queen, I'd dress up as Reba Mcintyre
I have read hair AND I sing country.
find YOUR drag persona

... you have no idea how WRONG that is.

I am virginal.
I'm a good girl. The kind you marry.
I keep my room clean. I've never broken the law.
I love (to eat) babies.
take the virgin-whore dichotomy quiz.

... jesus christ...

I am a misunderstood tisch artiste
"I peed in my pants. It means so much!"
take the nyu type quiz.

Well, better than Yoko Ono's stuff anyways.

I am a book nerd.
I am so literary. I am probably an english major.
I am pretentious and my spelling and my grammar
are immaculate.
take the nerd test.

Ha. Haha. That's funny.

These tests are completely off base. They're great.

"I'll Take Romance"

I'll take romance
While my heart is young
and eager to fly
I'll give my heart a try,
I'll take romance

I'll take romance
While my arms are strong
and eager for you
I'll give my arms their cute
I'll take romance

So my lover when you want me, call me
in the hush of the evening
When you call me,
in the hush of the evening I'll rush to my

...first real romance
while my heart is young and eager and gay,
I'll give my heart away
I'll take romance

Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg. Oh My God.

Her violin sounds like sex and chocolate.

And thank you Karen, I will never be able to just eat chocolate ever again. Mmm...

"I want to hear a poem where the images and similies kiss so closely that metaphors get jealous."

Cuddling for hours on end is nice.

Yesterday I felt the world open it's arms
and breathed and moved
and laughed and cried
and trembled and sighed.

I need to cut my hair.

I need to tell grandma to shut up about R'chard's graduation.

I need to stop being annoying.

I need to stop trying to contact my friends when I know that they don't answer.

I need to finish reading that fic Karen sent me.

I need to get better by Wednesday.

I still need to pursuade Halley to coming with, but he hasn't exactly been responding.

I need to find a way to annoy Mike... and Tyler and Aaron and Adam and...

I need to shut up.

... Self, stop being jealous. You know green looks horrendous on you.

Jesus... I think I got sick during the pool party yesterday because I have an effing cold at the moment (and in the middle of summer, no less). At least I haven't wracked up a fever yet.

But I haven't been able to eat anything. My throat hurts far too much. Instead, I've been living off of cup after warm/scalding hot cup of green tea.

I hate being sick. And I hate being jealous.

One of the many reasons why I like having longer hair: when positioned correctly, my eyes cannot be seen so my mood cannot be determined.

One of the many reasons why I hate having longer hair: two minutes to shampoo?! What the hell... I condition (read: let the damn thing soak for) almost 20...

One of the many reasons why I like being male: genetic predisposition for muscle mass.

One of the many reasons why I hate being male: can't get play from the straight, hot, half-naked pool boys (like Sarah, but with different boys).

One of the many reasons why I like being asian: as Karen put it, I have a 15% greater chance of attending any university I want to go to... except for Berkeley with the 65% asian/pacific islander populace.

One of the many reasons why I hate being asian: damn people who only look at cute white boys. Don't they know that they can be as annoying as lambchop?!

One of the many reasons why I like being eclectic: people can shop for me and chances are that I'll like it.

One of the many reasons why I hate being eclectic: the question "What's your favorite type of music/movie/art/etc." Drives me nuts since I have multiple favorites.

I should just say that I'm like Charlie and that the last book/cd/movie I saw was my favorite because it was the last one that I saw.

... yep. Shutting down. But first... ::publish::

Okay, I know this is overdone (especially on this page) but...

The Reason Why I've Never Loved

Romantic and adult love is suppose to be an irrational emotion about another person which places their wellbeing before your own. I have those feelings for friends, but not on the scale which is normally associated with the emotion.

Love knows no boundaries, so age, gender, race, etc. shouldn't matter. I want passion to accompany love since I can get plenty of emotional support from friends. Also, I'm so much of a pragmatist that only certain people become candidates for my emotions.

Love should be unconditional. I tend to fall for people whom loving would be convenient.

Love is best when it happens. I seek out love.

And that's it... for now. My head hurts and neither of them are online at the moment.

"Down With Love" (my new mantra for the month)

Down with love the flowers and rice and shoes
Down with love the root of all midnight blues
Down with things that give you that well-known ping
Take that moon wrap it in cellophane

Down with love let's liquidate all its friends
Moon and June and roses and rainbow's ends
Down with songs that moan about night and day
Down with love yes take it away, away

Away
Far away
Give it back to the birds and bees and the Viennese

Down with eyes romantic and stupid
Down with sighs and down with cupid
Brother let's stuff that dove
Down with love

Down with love let's liquidate all its friends
The moons the Junes the roses and rainbow's ends
Down with songs that moan about night and day
Down with love yes take it away, away

Far away
So very, very far away
Give it back to the birds and the bees and especially the Viennese

Down with eyes romantic and stupid
Down with sighs and down with cupid
Brother let's stuff that dove
Down with love

and.... breathe.

Finals are over. Well, they were over yesterday, but I've finally realized that this school year was over when I woke up on a thursday and the clock said 10:00am. Sweetness.

Grandma bought some celantro plants to plant into the backyard garden. Personally, she should grow some rosemary, oregano, parsely (curly, not flat), basil, and mint. But she doesn't know how to cook with any of those. Oh well.

Tomorrow is going to be semi-busy with Sarah's party and then First Friday art madness alongside Halley. One problem, I have to make a brief appearance at uncle's birthday party.

Man, I don't need this headache right now.

I need to call people today. Oh joy, what rapture.

"But which do you think is more foolish: someone who puts all of their faith in the power and pursuit of love, or someone who doesn't believe in love but still longs and searches for it?"

"The latter, definitely."

"..."

"Were you trying to catch me being hypocritical?"

"No. I was describing myself."

I need to talk to Tyler more often. It's not that common for me to find anyone (let alone a pretty guy) who can understand where I come from most of the time. But... damn all these bi-boys and their relationship problems.

I have the worst luck with that entire bunch.

Still, I like the little arrangement we have. Since we're both (more often than not) the shoulder-to-cry-on person to our friends, we'd be the confidant of the other.

Too early to tell, but I think I may have found someone that I can tell all my secrets to without worrying about them telling it to other people.

I don't know too many secret keepers.

In other news, I find myself getting more and more into British-white-boy-garage rap. It's seriously odd (more bizarre than electroclash) but I love it regardless. 'Course, the absence of big pimpin' themes could be an additional factor.

"The #1 emo pick up line: So, do you blog here often?"

The competition.

I definitely have my work cut out for me over the summer. I need to get my technique fine-tuned and develop a personality with my paintings.

Drawings are already infused with my own style, but they're no where near as impressive (or massive) as the things I do on canvas.

Speaking of which, I need to start painting on that large bedsheet.

Jason Mraz plays barefoot.

Via the Rufus Wainwright message board.

Ladies and gents, I am in lust.

Dare mo ga ai o motomete iru no ni surechigau bakari.

Kimi o omou kimochi.

Yuzurenai kara.

Ai sureba ai suru hodo tsuraku.

Boku no omoi wa kurai.

Nakanaide.

his boyfriend doesn't know his boyfriend doesn't know his boyfriend doesn't know his boyfriend doesn't know his boyfriend doesn't know his boyfriend doesn't know his boyfriend doesn't know his boyfriend doesn't know his boyfriend doesn't know his boyfriend doesn't know...

To quote Mike: "Hey, it's fatty-mcfatfat here."

Fuck comfort food. I want a change. Hell, I'm itching for something new. And that's not a good thing, since last time this feeling came 'round I wanted to sign up for the priesthood just to piss people off.

Can anyone love me like they do in The Secretary?

Friday's concert was well worth the wait. Got loads of aggression off of my chest at the expense of several bruises and severely sore shoulders/ribs. Good Charlotte didn't disappoint their fans by playing half of their set using their old songs. So not sell outs. Then New Found Glory's singer Jordan got ticked off when security guards pounced on this kid half their size, so he and the other band members dropped instruments, ran off stage, and tried to pry security off of the kid. There were riot police at every exit. It was awesome.

Except for that asshole guy who squeezed me out of the front. I got back at him by trapping his nipple against the rail for all of MXPX. Take that, bitch.

My poster assignment sucks. I don't want to do it, but I'm halfway finished so I might as well proceed.

Tyler from CA should come to his senses and do what Em and the others told him to do.

Thinking of asking Adam out... next year. Since we both don't drive (yet) and he lives all the way in Green Valley... yeah. Not gonna happen.

For once I wish life was a bit like The Bold and The Beautiful. In those shows, no matter who the character there's always at least one person who loves/lusts them. Example: Brad loves Janet, but Janet doesn't love him, she loves Frank; Frank doesn't love Janet, but he loves Brad who only has eyes for Janet. At least that way there's one person who likes me emotionally.

'Course, I could do without the evil twin siblings and lookalikes. Or the Passions-esque stories with border-line satirically bad gimmicks.

Samson9Crow: finally found more buttsex silverchair to download...
Samson9Crow: 'cept buttsex it's remote queued... damn...
starseiya: buttsex silverchair? how deliciously... random
Samson9Crow: nonono, I'm just buttsex throwing in subliminal messages buttsex somehow...
starseiya: mm... mufbuttsexfin
Samson9Crow: Oo, I baked honey buttsex muffins a while ago, except they tasted buttsex like oranges
starseiya: ah, ironically I had buttsexupawall orange juice from a leftover buttsex party in buttsexinacar English class
Samson9Crow: Huh, I just buttsexinapool stole cookies that buttsexinbed were hidden from us, from a meeting buttsexonthefloor they had the night buttsex before
Samson9Crow: Whoa, so much buttsex.
starseiya: we should probably stop
starseiya: so my lungs have a moment to breath properly
Samson9Crow: right-o

Tyler's funny. He enjoys injecting random things into conversations.

Mike's nice in a satirical way. He should stop looking at only white boys and girls.

Halley likes physical puzzles. He managed to get one of those Borders cd cages off of the cd, then put it back on.

Adam's definitely a Holden Caulfield. It's adorable.

John should stop acting gay. He's not, and it can get irritating... a bit adorable though.

Zitch better stop bothering Taylor, or I'll do something that he'll regret.

Justin and Randy have been slashed/paired together by rampant fangirls (we suspect them to be art majors) (oh, the shame!) who write fics and draw pictures of Justin being the submissive one. Funny stuff.

I think that's enough rambling for today.