Hm, just recieved a picture of a monk masturbating while kissing the decapitated head of another monk on a pike... reminds me of the Vlad documovie I saw on SciFi a few days back...

. . . . . posted:||4:03 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ugh.. two things about staying offline that I really hate... lots of mail for me to read, and lagging on the other blogs I read. And I have to sing tonight for Ash Wednesday Mass... being catholic sucks sometimes...

. . . . . posted:||3:44 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Alright, so I've been posting irregularly over the past few days... or going online at all for that matter... But, I'm here now.

First off, happy be-lated Mardi Gras everyone! I was heading over to the Orleans or Rio casino to celebrate afterschool, but all my friends who were going cancelled so I had to be content just watching it on the Travel channel... I can't wait till I can actually go down to N'awlins to see the festivities... either that or high-tail over to San Fransisco, but New Orleans holds a more preferable spot... that and they don't care how the hell old you are that day.

Second, I'm in the process of rewriting these pages so that the images will actually work. I've drawn a few more pictures I want to put up, but I'll save those for next time's updates.

Also in the subject of computers... Transfering highschool credits across state school districts is rather messy. When I recieved my transcript a few days ago, I noticed that the credits I earned for Algebra I in Arizona weren't carried forward, along with my Spanish I credit and computer half credit. Apparently, in order to input the info right, the middle school I moved to had to put the Algebra credit as a "summer course", and thus kinda disqualifying it as an honors class. So, the office has to call my old school back in Arizona to check with the roster that those classes were honors, even if the letter I presented to them clearly stated so. As for Spanish I... I'm not sure how that'll turn out. As for computers... apparently the class isn't applicable because I took it in 6th grade. The computers class I took in 8th grade doesn't seem to count at all since I didn't finish the class before I moved. What does this all mean? I have to waste a year's elective doing computers, a course which promises to be rather... boring. I'm already quite computer affluent (hell, I wouldn't be able to make this page if I wasn't) and I have the resume to back me up. I just wished that there was a test I could take to prove that I am very knowledgable in the field. Because, honestly, I seriously don't feel like taking a class where I could more or less sleep through and get an A... stupid slightly less-accomplished Nevada school system....

Currently listening to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer album. It's interesting how the songs on this cd remind me so much about the different characters. For instance, Hepburn's "I Quit" reminds me of Willow... although when one listens to the lyrics it doesn't really suit her... weird. But, regardless it's still my favorite song on the cd... that and "Close Your Eyes (Buffy/Angel's theme)."

While on the subject.... holy sh!t. I saw the episode of Buffy last time and (not to spoil anything) that was some serious stuff. Looking back on Buffy's earlier... campy episodes, I'm glad that it's come this far. The direction on that episode was superb, and it sent chills running down my spine every five minutes... And something so impacting can only become that powerful after years of careful character crafting. What I want to know is how they plan to top that episode next week.

Angel was... well, it felt like a spoonful of sugar ::ducks the umbrellas thrown at him:: to help the Buffy episode go down better. Ironic that, while Angel gets together with his "band" again (or rather, he works for them) Buffy's life is being torn apart. Which leads me to another question... why does Angel brood so often? Sure, it could be the whole repentence shtick but I believe that he feels that his happiness should be sacrificed to save the world. Afterall, when he experiences true happiness he loses his soul and becomes Angelus, right? It's all rather reminiscent of the main theme in Wild Arms 2 about a 'hero' being a 'sacrifice' for the world to shoulder it's burden on... I just hope that his revelations don't take away from his character.

Too much homework, and depression rears it's ugly head. You know, with a bit of spit shine, you could make the thing beautiful...

. . . . . posted:||3:42 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Well, time to sharpen my fangs, ladies and gents.

First off, I'm glad to say that my painting which I have been bitching about has been going rather well. Even my art teacher noticed since the last time she checked out how far I was. Last time, she seemed rather disappointed although I don't think she wanted to tell me anything bad.

Also, yesterday my friend Liz (from Vegas, not Az) was describing her "adventure" this past weekend. She had been hiding at The Regent resort/casino from her sister who had been verbally abusive. So, I asked her exactly what her sis had been saying, and she said that she called her "a big egotist." ...'Course, I had to break it to her that she is egotistic, but not overly so. Thus, a conversation broke out with me pointing out the similarities between her and this guy. So, for the rest of the day I'd cough or some other barely noticable signal to Liz to let her know that she's being a slight egotist again. It surprises me that people can still be completely oblivious to how they affect others around them.

Hm, I should write a thesis: Verbal Abuse: The Nonacknowledged Crime.

And in other news, Daria was funny, Ally McBeal/Boston Public was rather boring, 2gether was funny as usual (especially the performance in the delivery room)...

The "Mockingbird" song that was sung reminded me of this documentary I saw about evolution where on this island, a flock of mockingbirds lacked liquid in their diet so they've started to drink the blood of other animals. So far, they haven't grown the beak-shape to puncture wounds themselves. But, one of this scenes I saw (involving two of the aforementioned birds and a pelican bleeding from the back of its neck) reminded me of Hannibal so much I cracked up really badly.

It was raining today. Sure, some people have grown used to rain and dreary gray days, but I live in the desert and the "gentle rain" always comes in torrents and flashfloods. At least the new flood canals made the danger less than it was a few years ago... Still, because of the rain, I was almost late for school and several of my teachers were late coming to school due to traffic (two major freeways were completely stopped due to several accidents)... But, at least the rain made for some good puddles to jump into during lunch!

Also during lunch, my friends who were in the production of Annie and I were making fun of the song NYC. Here's how much we've got so far.
S & M...
We've got to wear black now
The whips! the chains
The thrills, sweet pains...

Hey, we only have so much time for lunch, mind you.

......Migraines keep pounding a rhythm to my brain (goddamn stupid pains) (motherf*cking pains) The pains go on... the pains go on....

. . . . . posted:||11:03 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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I think I'll make a new layout that doesn't involve heavy use of graphics... Several interesting things to note.

First off, just saw an ad for Survivor:The CardGame... I ran screaming from the room.

Second, my friend Liz from Arizona asked me when a sadistic relationship goes from consentual to abusive. At first, I thought the answer was simple, but then she went on to explain that the "abuse" was not physical, but verbal. Last night, she suggested something to her boyfriend and he roleplayed her gutting online. Of course, anyone with the appropriate stomach can do that, as I demonstrated right then and there. Funny thing is, she liked it a lot. Seems that my friends are starting to become almost as morbid as I... but, not even close yet.

The whole conversation reminded me of my experiences with controlling my morbid thoughts. Indeed, I almost went mad thinking about the things I do, and literally scaring myself at night. But, I found the art and music all around me, and it helped me stabilize a bit. I really don't see why people insist on being depressed. It is the worst feeling one can have, and although it may seem glamorous, it's empty in the end.

. . . . . posted:||9:55 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I apologize. Hindsight shows that I need to control my anger hear-after. Still, if they ask too much of me again or waste my time, I'll quit. Enough said.

. . . . . posted:||9:14 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
That's it. I've had it. Normally, I'm good about doing favors for others, but when they've abused my services, I turn my back on them, regardless if it's a critical time for them. If they have no consideration for my feelings, then I have nothing to lose. Afterall, I'm not going to be compensated for my help. Really, it wasn't necessary to drag me to that "shopping" trip seeing how I lost precious painting time. So, now because of the 3 hours wasted my project is in danger of being incomplete come time to turn it in. The fact that my blog's images have been wiped out isn't helping much either. My painting has given me almost no free time. One thing compounds to another and pretty soon my back will break with the burden of the world on my shoulders.

. . . . . posted:||9:12 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Goddamn... Yahoo!'s not letting me see any of my files. Guess I'll have to go store my pictures in a different place now...

. . . . . posted:||8:21 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Paul wrote some interesting comments concerning when criticism ends and censorship begins. Specifically the Eminem case. I know what I'm about to say may get me stoned to death by the other members of GLSEN, but keep in mind that this is my own personal views.

I happen to respect Eminem for being out right and honest in his lyrics, even though they might either be offensive to me or to others. But for some reason, I don't think that Mr. "E" sincerely means what he says. Afterall, writers work best when they're angry and he may just be venting out his anger at the world through this sort of name calling.

On the other hand, these meaningless words may actually mean something to people out there who are idiotic enough to actually believe what Eminem says. Personally, I believe that censorship in this case is inappropriate and unfair to those who can handle such material. The best way to prevent any violence to occur from his lyrics is proper education of not only the youth, but the adults who teach them as well.

. . . . . posted:||8:11 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Hm, a girl who also lives in Vegas just IM'd me. She asked if I was a painter and such, and then we started talking about how hard it was to get into the school I'm at and how she missed the auditions for the vocal department. Nice to know that there're other good people out there.

. . . . . posted:||10:57 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Eh, I miss one day of being online and I'm completely out of the beat. It's not like when one sneezes and the heart stops for a split second and then returns to it's regular time. But, I guess that the short hiatus was actually fruitful. First, thursday I spent the majority of my waking hours enthralled by Anne Rice's Violin, a music that almost accurately describes the pure majesty which music can possess. The imagery was exquisite, as to Anne Rice's reputation, and the book didn't drag on for hours as does some of her most recent work. And in the end, when Triana did resolve to give back what she stole, she came back and still had the talent to play violin; a new found courage to play from the heart and not what was written on paper. But, enough of that or I'll go on and spoil the plot.

Now, Friday I spent at my school helping my sis, Seri, and Leah practice their group song for the Language Fair coming up this Saturday. After everyone had to go home (and I finished my Spicy Chicken from Jack-in-the-Box) my sis and I headed to the Black Box Gallery for the mandatory gallery show we had to attend. Innitially, the competition was for all the schools in the district, and only ten others sent anything in. However, the judges weren't informed of who the artists were and from what school they belonged to, so all the pieces were from my school save one. So, it was a bit of a disappointment, and my art teacher is scared that people will be reluctant to turn anything in next year.

But the pieces were amazing.

They ranged from all media: oil, gouche, oil pastels, charcoal, graphite, collages, colored pencil. All the pieces were beautiful, yet I found only a handful to be truly profound. All the artwork was rather large; at least 2ft on either side. Yet, I was drawn to the small, miniature piece which was barely the size of my palm. There was nothing really unusual about it... except that the lighting was a sea-foam green which cast an eerie shadow on the subject. The attention to detail was amazing; the clashing tide in the far background could be seen almost to the droplets. And while all the other pieces expressed a rather annoying attitude (specifically the collage piece), this one had a quite, calm, and sophisticated sense of despair about it. I loved that piece, and it came as no shock that it won the best of show award and the artist Beckie (an acquaintance of mine) recieved a cheque for $300. The whole atmosphere of the place was daunting, and the fact that people actually showed up for the show added to it's nice atmosphere. But, the night's aesthetics hadn't ended quite yet...

After spending quite some time at the gallery, my sis and I headed for the main theater only a few feet away. We were there to watch the production of Romeo and Juliet. Sure, old hat you may think, and so did I. In fact, I questioned why a prestigious theater department would do something so cliche... but what I saw was far from the old block.

First off, the setting of the play was not in the walls of fair Verona, but that of the gigantic tent of the Verona circus. In this renderation, the dueling families were rival performing families. Romeo was a balancer of sorts, walking on a ball while Benvolio was a tangodancer-sword eater. And Mercutio, a tumbler. Paris carried a trainer's whip at his side yet never really used it, and Tibult was another tumbler who would carry his female partner and balance her literally on the balls of his toes. Juliet was a trapeez/gymnast of an unusual set of bars to swing on.

What impressed me far more than all this and the amazing acting, was the use of the fates/muses/machina. Twelve dancers and a gypsy woman who gave the monologue at the start showed how the flow of images and thoughts moved about. They would dance seductively and draw characters to them to cause certain meetings and mishaps. They beckoned and yeiled characters so that they wouldn't leave too early and ruin the story as we know of it. They reminded me of angels watching the folly of a mortal whose ultimate outcome is already known to them. And yet, they expressed their anticipation and grief without words. To accompany all this startling imagery, they used music heavily from the soundtrack of Cirque du Solei's "O" with a few songs from the "Chant" cd's.

And in the end, after the deathshroud had been laid on the two unfortunate souls after they're been placed side by side, the gypsy woman comes and levitates the two till she rips the shroud away in a puff of smoke and the inhabitants have disappeared. Instead, they are on Juliet's performing contraption, frozen in unwavering love for the other... Pure magic.

But, the art is destroyed not by the director's hand, but by the people within the audience. First, cell phones rang out occasionally which wouldn't have been too bad had they been softer. Then, during the death scene no less, people would cough incessantly, specifically those who sat behind me. And lastly, people who make comments. Sure, you're entitled to speak your mind, but do so in a whisper, not in a near yelling tone. Especially when you're second row. And the audience should not gasp words like "ouch", "oo!", "no!", and most irritating of all... "d-oh!"

And the little, uncouthed maggot who sat in front of me. The little vermin who scratched her head boisterously and let the dandruff fall like flakes of snow during those many, many scenes. Oh, how I wanted to kill her. She ruined the best moment for me.

I apologize, but when I see a performance, I always want pure art... and when people in this town who don't know of performances and only lounge acts... those who come to such formal occasions wearing jeans and a beer-stained shirt... those people annoy me. I don't mean to be an elitist of sorts, but I like my art untainted, thank you very much.

Ah... it feels so good to get that off one's chest.

. . . . . posted:||8:01 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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The Buffy Log! is the link of the hour. Yes, I admit, I'm a closet Buffy/Angel fan!... okay, so it's not really IN the closet, moreso not that strange either. Just noticed that I hadn't mentioned anything about the show I love so much in this blog. But, rest assured that I won't go psycho and talk about Buff exclusively (I leave that to the guys forementioned). Anyways, the things everyone says on that blog is really interesting. I've been reading some of the entries for the past hour, and they are rather insightlful. I wonder if they have a blog for Dark Angel lovers....

. . . . . posted:||4:16 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Just came back from Seri's place. Eh, I had fun... I guess. Except that now I smell like her grandma and it's.... uck. I need to rub some sandal wood oil on me to get rid of it! >.<

But, while over at her place, I got a chance to watch Ai No Kusabi (which roughly translates to "Wedge"). I've been meaning to order the fansub for a while, but my parents are far too paranoid when it comes to ordering stuff online... and if they found out the content of this particular tape well... they'd run screaming from the house to go fetch a priest. -_-

But AnK is rather heartbreaking. The relationship between the two male, erm, main characters takes the sado-masochistic role playing to new heights. In the end though, they grew closer and closer the farther they pushed eachother away. And in the end, they commit suicide together using poisonous cigarettes while a building fell on their heads. A different type of Romeo and Juliet, done just as heartbreakingly, and as sensually as well. Afterall, what is more sexy than lighting one's cig on their lover's already lit one? Well, I can think of a few, but that is one hard thing to top.

Erk... my dad just came in the room and claimed his parental control, changed the channel just as Buffy came on. >.< Time to go downstairs to watch.

. . . . . posted:||7:53 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Yahoo! maps are hard as hell to figure out! Sure, the direction finder is nice and it does give quite accurate directions, but the map is one hell of a bitch to read. Currently, I've been trying to find my way to Seri's house. Seeing how I have yet to memorize the roads around this "little" town, I needed a visual to understand all the directions given. So, I'm trying to navigate the maps when it hits me that I have a map of the whole frickin city in the drawer next to me. Pulling out that mass of papers, I was able to trace a path in a few seconds as opposed to the five minutes using Yahoo!'s crap tools. Really, the internet can be such a hassle sometimes.

And on a side note, I simpathize with Tim's recent bowling alley troubles. Getting a lane in this town during tourist season is one hell of a hassle. Over at Santa Fe Station, I had to wait a good 2 hours for just one lane... and it wasn't even time for cosmic bowling yet!... Speaking of cosmic bowling... What they call that here is utter crap! One, they turned off the smoke machine (which they should really use dry ice for). Two, the music is still crappy pop stuff, no techno. And three, the pins don't have blacklight colors on them. It's sad that Vegas can't even get the concept of a cosmic bowling experience right...

I can't wait till I'm 21 and out on the town. That's when the real fun begins, heheh....

. . . . . posted:||12:39 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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So, what do you think of the new layout?

. . . . . posted:||11:13 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Silence of the Lambs parody inspired by this (don't ask why, not even I know...)

Hannibal: "A census man once came into my home asking me questions. I ate his liver with fava beans and a nice chianti!"
Clarice: "Um, sir, that wasn't his liver you ate."
Hannibal: "Oh? What was it then...?"
Clarice: "..."
Hannibal: "...Oh, that is sick."
Clarice: "Well, you were the one who ate it, not I."
Hannibal: "Yes, but you would have found it appetizing. I on the other hand...."
Clarice: "...found it stimulating?"
Hannibal: "Very."

Stupid, neh?

. . . . . posted:||8:14 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Neopets... beware. Highly addictive.

. . . . . posted:||7:25 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Seems that the "big posters" of the blogs that I read are Paul and Andy. Sure, reading their posts are interesting, but I am afeared that I'm getting tunnel vision like my parents said. @_@

Anyways, I am watching Cirque du Solei's Dralion and, as a majority of all their works, it is stunningly beautiful. They haven't quite captured the spirit of the east, as they tried to do in this performance. In fact, they've presented a rather shallow presentation of oriental images. But then again, they're most likely non-Asian themselves so that is excusable. Personally, I enjoyed their performance of "O" better.

Just recently got the Music cd form Madonna. Despite what other people think, I enjoyed her transition into full-on techno music. Afterall, she has survived this long so she's earned the right to do whatever she wants to... not much else to say about that.

Last night, mi familia went to Bucca di Beppo for my sis and myself's birthday dinner. Throughout our meal (a rather large one at that) we kept seeing a rather cute waiter/busboy walking around. So, the topic of speculation was if he was gay or not. Naturally, a little clicking sound in my head told me so (and seeing him kiss his boyfriend outside of the restaurant later proved this). I wasn't about to say anything, afterall I really don't feel like explaining why I have this innate ability. He was awfully cute, though. Better pickings than the other guys in the place at that time.

The new layout for Outlines is almost ready to be uploaded. Hope you enjoy it when it is.

. . . . . posted:||6:07 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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And so, here's how I've spent the majority of my first day of a four day weekend. First, woke up at about 5:00 am to break the morning cycle... which doesn't work since I fall back asleep till 8:00am. Afterwards, I head downstairs and eat half of a large stick of french bread with butter and some philadelphia cheese. Then, while switching between MTV and VH1, I paint a little on my canvas before I get utterly bored. So, I come upstairs at about 11:00am and log onto Napster which is, surprisingly, still working. I download the new Aerosmith song along with "I'm Like a Bird" and "Life in Mono" before getting bored yet again and turning the damn program off. So, I surf through the blogs I usually read, catch up on the ones I haven't in a while, and I still get bored with all that. I try reading a few chapters out of Violin but it once again bores me to death. Now, I'm sitting infront of the computer, eating some Jello my grandma made and sweetened with a lot of sacchrine and Sweet'n'Low. I'm just waiting for Seri-chan to call and say that we're still having practice today...

Heh, Shirley Manson just sang "Somebody get me out of here" on my cd player... my feelings exactly.

. . . . . posted:||1:20 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I'm contemplating switching from Blogger to Greymatter - Weblog/Journal Software. It's a pity that I can't combine the two weblogging tools, like I do when I create these pages with AOLPress and Composer. What to do, what to do.

. . . . . posted:||1:01 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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It seems that my momentary phase of happiness and ignorance to the pain of those around me has hit a speed bump. Lately, I've been too busy living life that I don't stop to think of what or why I do the things I do. Several events have occured which have forced me to re-examine my philosophy on life, love, and tuna sandwiches.

First, although I've only recently read it, Paul seems to be in a bit of a slump these past few days. It's interesting to see how he deals with his problems (in fact, that's what an online journal is all about), yet I've begun to care for his health and safety a lot lately. No, it's not a reaction to the rivetting entry he posted that day, it's something that has been building since shortly after we began exchanging emails. Funny thing is, my concern for him is even more so than for friends which I know and see almost daily in real life. I dunno... I feel that I can relate easier to him than some of my other friends. Sure, a majority of my friends are out going and love to have a fun time, but I can never be introspective when around then... and I always have at least one in each class, giving me no real moment of peace and quiet. Paul, a fellow kindred spirit in the life of the literate, has help my writing plenty through his critiques and suggestions. Probably more so than he himself knows. He's a person who can express every feeling he has through some rather captivating imagery, if only through words. Yet, the written word, I believe, is a bit less transient than the words of a family member or friend. Sure, speech can induce a memory or inspire one so that the words are engraved into our minds, but we can only recall so much at a time. Eventually, memory fails us and we have to write down what was so important to us. Words can present even an abstract idea as proof that it existed and that someone actually thought it up and took the time to write about it.

The reason why most do not choose to write, is that they're so set in their inability to formulate the right words to do so, to express what they truly want to say. However, writing, as opposed to conversation, can be edited. This is both the saving grace and the death wish of the literary word. Because it can be edited so, a person can rewrite the things they don't wish to keep and delete the things they do not. Yet, once you have shared your thoughts to the world, people can plagerize it and pull out the editor's axe; decimating the original text to sound like something completely different.

But anyways... I haven't written an email in forever, because I can only write introspectively or in third person. When it comes to written conversation, I'm... terrible. Sure, I can pull out different slang words at the drop of a hat and talk casually with friends. But when I sit back and try to write exactly how I speak, the transition is never smooth. I write down the words and phrases I've practically trademarked as mine, yet I sound like a complete thug when I read it, and I know I am far from that. In otherwords, when I address someone personally and in writting, I don't sound like me. And when I try modifying the words to suit what I think is "appropriate", I lose all the charm, flavor, and sarcastic wit I'm accredited for.

So, I hardly write emails anymore. I can, however, relay my thoughts to those who read this blog. Which is what I'm going to do... Paul, if you're reading this, thank you for being a part of my life thus far. I probably won't work up the courage or determination to put this down in writting ever again, since I'm far too shy with emotions when it's directed at an actual person, as opposed to an idea or dream of a person. So, I'll leave this on my blog as testimony.

Another note-worthy event which took place over the past two days, was a near traumatizing conversation I had in my English class. Ms. Miller had just passed out our copies of the book The House on Mango Street and began a huge conversation. The spark that lit the fire: "What makes someone successful?" Then she began asking whether her upbringing in a trailer park made her trailer trash, which she isn't because she rose above her current surroundings and became something better than the stereotype. Then Sydney started giving her background story of her poor family who lived in the back yard barn of their parent's farm, and how they were able to go from that hell hole to a seven bedroom house here. I was too shaken and too timid to share my experiences with living in hell holes, but even now I haven't come to terms with it and am still ashamed of that particular year of my life. Afterclass, my friend came up to me and expressed her guilt for living a privilieged life from the start. I just clammed up and didn't answer her.

Lastly, today at lunch, Robert had a nervous breakdown about his girlfriend Desi pushing him away because of the 'cult' of over-zealous anime fans which has more or less taken control of half my friends' lives. Now, Robert is very talented, yet he's prone to outbursts of bipolarism and excessive eccentricity. This particular incident was rather interesting. As in all the usual confrontations, my other friend D and Robert would exchange screams and yells as several other group members crouched under a tree and cried silently. However, I just stood, in the midst of all this chaos and trauma, and I was laughing silently to myself. The situation was completely... near farce-like with the wailing and screaming and melodrama. I had almost convinced myself that I had walked onto the set of a soap opera. Then, almost instantly, I was struck with the sudden realization that I had a moment of complete apathy. I thought myself sensitive to other's feelings, and yet I was being hypocritical. It made me sick.

... I've written entirely too much today. I apologize.

. . . . . posted:||5:33 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Currently watching Roger and Hamerstein's Cinderella, the 90's version. Despite the poppy funky colors everywhere, the duet between Brandy and Mr. FilipinoHottie "Are You Wonderful" is... well, beautiful. Goes to show that despite "artistic license" and cast-carving the script, the power of that particular song is even moreso present in the modern version than in the original old one. Perfect movie for Valentine's day? I think so.

... I've been noticing that I've been letting my rapture of different songs get to me. Earlier today, I was listening to Aerosmith's "Jaded" and I started dancing around the room, completely enamored to it and not noticing that I knocked down several things in my room. Course, I had to clean up afterwards...

"Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream? Or are you really as beautiful as you seem?"..... absolute magic.

Please, forgive me if I'm being a bit too maudlin right now, but I do feel in that mood. Perhaps it's the fact that it is valentine's day and I'm one of the biggest hopeless romantics out there (him being a close second). The fact that I trimmed my rose garden and my room is fragranted with several dozen roses doesn't help...

Also pertaining to love, my sis finally found her art photos. For the Manchine project, she had to use a telephone for her machine and her emotion to express was adoration. She used two of her classmates as models and.. the pictures are absolutely stunning. I should post one sometime.

Got a valentine back from Paul. He pointed me into the direction of Googles and guess what I found? Gay Valentines!

... Now my grandma's watching Cinderella with me... And with her talking to herself the whole time, in her extreme FOB accent, all entertainment value has gone... that and the appearance of Whitney Houston.

. . . . . posted:||8:27 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Well, on this page:Valentines Day, there are poems which are rather interesting. Personally, I find this one the most entertaining... just remember, kiddies, that incest is wrong wrong wrongwrong wrong! Ahem... Thankyou.

Five gay Valentines

Five gay Valentines from the dollar store.
I sent one to mother, now there are four.
Four gay valentines, pretty ones to see.
I gave one to brother, now there are three.
Three gay valentines, yellow, red and blue.
I gave one to sister, now there are two.
Two gay valentines, my we have fun.
I gave one to Daddy, now there is one.
One gay valentine, the story is almost done.
I gave one to baby, now there is none.


. . . . . posted:||8:00 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Buenos Dia del Corozon! In keeping with the spirit of the day of the V, one, I have this layout (nothing new added, but oh well), two, I'm still getting good reviews of the poem I sent to Eric, and three, I'll explain the current situation I'm in.

As you can see in this chart, I like Eric and Mike; more so Eric. Joey likes Mike, Eric and Kevin in that respective order. Eric likes Kevin, but also thinks that Joey's hot too... but nothing too serious. Thus, the score card is: Eric 2, Kevin 2, Mike 2, Me 0. Ergh...My friend says that's because I don't "advertised"... But I don't wanna! I'm fine just being "comfortably" out, thankyou very much. Okay... nuff said.

. . . . . posted:||3:57 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Intended to be posted 10:34 pm last night:

"Okay, I'm saving this blog on the computer since blogger is being quite a bitch right now.

First off... I had no idea that QT from MTV's 2gether died. Although it's almost been a month since he did pass away, I just now got wind of it. I guess I was too worked up with finals that week to give a damn. But now... hindsight is great, letting you see what you should have done, yet then you can't change anything that you've done. I know I hold no obligation, but I still can't help but feel sick and hollow inside for not hearing about it. I feel too damn shallow, a sense heightened by this sad-sob "I didn't know" entry I'm putting up. But hey, I am, by nature, contradictory so I'm just being me... I guess.

While I'm still on this guilt trip into "deepness", Tim made some rather interesting comments in his journal entry. First, his mullings over how a friendship survives a crisis is all too familiar to me. It just takes one day, one bad morning or too much sugar to say or do something stupid that breaks off a good friendship. But then, isn't that in itself a test of devotion? Wouldn't a good friend understand when you have bad days, and your annoying quirks are forgiven? Or, perhaps on that particular day, they hadn't started on the right foot either and the duality of both parties being unusual stubborn... and I have confused myself, thus losing all credibility in the process. -_-

As for the "lip thing", I can see the attractive power of one's lips, or any part of a body for that matter. Sometimes, I glance at someone and a facial feature, a instant of their voice heard, the movement of their strides, and I'm in love. But then, I see the same person again and that same particular magic moment is non-existant. Why are aesthetic experience so transient? I'm beginning to see how some artists became disillusioned with canvas and paint and any other means of artistic expression. But, then how do those select few artists stay in the public eye for so long? How could Salvador Dali survive the hell of last century's first half to stay fresh in everyone's mind till this current time? Where did Picasso get the stamina to stay in the public eye for so long? I'm amazed how my life lacks the luster of these select few.

As for the hardwood floor thingy in Vegas... people must be jealous since I have a lot of it in my house. But personally, I prefer actual marble tile, like in The Venetian.

Watching Aerosmith's Making the Video... Love the fact that they're still doing stuff, and the video is beautiful.

Well, signing off for the night... technically anyway."

. . . . . posted:||3:37 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Despite the massive amount of homework still to do (and art project to finish), I am completely excited! I sent the poem which I had written to Eric today. I spent a lot of time hand writing it so that it masked my handwriting perfectly, perfumed the paper, and sealed it with wax with his name written in caligraphy on the front. Later on in the day, he was telling me about the love letter he got from Nicky (a friend of his who wanted to trade 'love notes' with). I was so close to laughing along with cry/scream/jumping in jubilation. I couldn't believe that he liked it so much!.. but now I have to follow it up with another one... which is in the works, and I hope he'll like it too! YAY!!!! ::screams::

Well, as I am typing this, I am munching on some Shrimp Chips (yum!) and sending out cards to all my friends who have email. I'm doing an awful lot of typing.. but oh well. Heh, making people suffer with evil cards is fun!

. . . . . posted:||3:37 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Eh, I'll have to be brief. Morpheus is shoving sand down my eye sockets a mile a minute and my yawning attacks are taking no effect.

First off, I just saw Hannibal. I loved the scenery, loved the director (and at times wanted to eat him), loved the death scenes, but hated the watered down ending. Not to spoil it to anyone, but it was far more sociably acceptable (and sequel flexible) than the ending of the original book. At the end, I had a really bad craving for food, so to make sure that I don't eat anyone, my parent's bought some krispy kreme! Yum! Expect a more indepthed review of the movie tomorrow after I've properly rested.

Only one more homework piece to do (japanese "color" picture) and I can finally start working on my contest entries. In otherwords, I'm about ready to burn the midnight oil and consume the early morning java. Oh, caffiene binges, how I miss thee!

Now, don't kill me/flame me because of what I'm about to say but... I can't stand the Left Behind series. It's not the fact that it's a christian novel, afterall I absolutely loved the book of Revelations, but that it uses the book so friviously, it's discontenting. Everything is pure dribble and does nothing to challenge or sophisticatedly release the events of the book of Revelations. That, and the movie was worse than the Omega Code; another straight-to-video movie about the end of the world according to the christian bible. Just once, I'd like to see a movie that shows the foretold end of the world in all it's gory majesty.

Before going to watch Hannibal, I had to drop by Aaron Brothers to pick up some painting supplies which I was running low on. I ran into Blake there, a friend of mine from my school. Nothing unusual, just some friendly banter and on our way. In the end, I bought several blending sticks, two big containers of turpenoid, a massive matting board and a smaller sized one, a 36"x48" canvas times two, a photo album because my sis begged me, and several tubes of oil paint. Price at the cash register: $243.75. And this was one of the more cheap visits to this store.

I've become adamant in sending that poem to Eric on heart's day. Not saying much else or I'll go on forever...

... okay, so this post wasn't all that short.

. . . . . posted:||9:12 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Whoa... I've been reading Tim's bio, and he's lead an interesting life. Weird thing is, he's another Vegas-located blogger. I was beginning to doubt the mental capacity of a majority of the citizens here... but he's really shown some inteligence from what I can deduce. I wonder which bowling alley he works at, seeing how my friends and I (well, most of us) are bowling freaks... even though we're no good at it... okay, I'm no good at bowling... And he has an impressive collection of cds. Almost as big as mine own.... almost.

Okay, a question I've wanted to asked a bunch of people. I want to know if there's any difference between guys who "straighten" out their sexual preferences (read:figure out their gay) at an early age as opposed to those who discover later in life. Maybe... us early bloomers have a slightly easier experience, having well adjusted by the time we're out there in the world. I dunno... Just a little bit of brain food to knaw on before you go to bed at night, I guess.

... I seem to keep on finding more in common with Tim as I read through his site thoroughly. First off, he likes Garbage and Smashing Pumpkins, along with others (anyone remember my rant about music?). Also, he says he's a hardcore, hopeless romantic. Gosh, if I wasn't so hung up on Eric, didn't know his number, and wasn't jailbait for all those pedophiles out there, I'd like the guy. Of course, I know better than that. 'Sides, I doubt he'd be able to handle my moments of necrophillia interest, cannibalist pondering, and other psychotic ideas... God, I sound like someone out of PZB's Exquisite Corpse story. o.0

... and I just proved that I'm a bookworm again, didn't I? Dammit!

. . . . . posted:||3:45 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Why do people take eachother's likes and dislikes so personally? There are plenty of people whom I know that, if an acquantance doesn't like the same type of music they like, they're automatically shot down. It's rather sad when people can't get along all because of music. But then again, this goes to show how much power music has over someone. Music is a tool that can be used to enhance a mood, moment, or emotion, or to damper a highly precarious situation. Don't believe me? Well, read Violin sometime and you'll see it too... or just be the self-analytical type.

Now to utterly contradict what I just said... I really don't agree with this opinion about Dido's video for "Thank You." Personally, I liked how it didn't match the song in content, because far too many videos do just that. The thing is, when a song's played over and over, you get sick of it. Everytime a song plays, each person will have a different image about it and an idea of what the video should play. A video which matches the song does that and quickly becomes boring as well. However, a video with almost no reference to the song's lyrical content makes you stop and watch the video, since it has nothing to do with the song and therefore has it's own significance. Of course, like anything else, that can be overplayed to the point of annoyance as well.

Speaking of being over played, I've noticed a cycle in which songs pass through. First, you hear it and it's cool. Then, you memorize every single word in the song. Later, it's too overplayed yet still cool. Then it becomes irritating and rather boring... And lastly, it becomes a classic. Take, for instance, Canon in D... or Creed's "Higher".

Just on a side note, Jennifer Lopez's new CD kicks major ass now that she's incorporated more techno into the music. Also, the album balances different subject matters, but most of them more or less pertain to relationships. Like Johnsy once said (I think, or someone else): "When you're happy, you enjoy the moment. When you're mad, you write songs." All too true... Take "Don't Speak" for an example.

Eh, along with all this music talk... Gershwin, don't get me wrong, your music is wonderful beyond belief but it's too damn hard to play on the piano and with my small hands! ;_;

. . . . . posted:||3:16 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Lately, I've been peeking 'round psionic's blog and read the unfinished fiction center. It's a pity that he never finished any of those, given how I liked em so. I especially liked That Night, more so for the way the scenes were presented and transitioned than for the actual content itself. Something to Say is one that I loved reading, since it showed a rather cute couple. I'd make some constructive criticism but I don't wanna spoil the mood right now...

Well, today after school was interesting. When my sis and I met up with our dad at the parking lot, we find out that he left the radio on and thus used up the battery. So, we spent the next hour stationary till the AAA-man came and gave us a jump start (since no one else's batteries had sufficient charge). But, the wait wasn't completely boring. Halfway through the wait, I went to sit on the steps with my friend Gen and we were watching two people with fake indian accents make total asses of themselves. They acted like a pair of old, married tourists (or those people who perform on the subways) and talked about the weirdest subjects. One moment they were describing the color, size, and texture of the guy's bong, then they went on to how the girl's parents grew, shaped, and molded hookers, to a vivid discussion about putting a large relief of a hooker with a bong above the school entrance. It was funny as hell! ^_^ I would have joined in with my own indian accent, but by then I was far too tired...

Seth Green shaved his head! sniff.... cute guy gone ;_;

Well, remember what I said about having all my major projects done? Scratch that, I just recieved some heavy duty homework this friday. First, I have to paint a square off of this picture so the dance department can take all the squares and make a beautiful mural for their up and coming dance recital. I got the eye of the lil baby while most of my friends got squares and squares of white paint. -_- Also, I have a biology test on monday, along with geometry, several pages for english, and find a picture of a building for ceramics (still). Fun weekend, huh?

... I need to sleep, but I need to practice for piano lessons which starts in roughly... 20 minutes. Joy.

. . . . . posted:||6:35 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Paul was kind enough to say a few words about what I posted about why I blog.

School came and went in a blur today, and I can scarcely remember the things that happened. However, I do remember showing my friend the new poem I wrote to Eric, and she couldn't decide from the two which I should send him for the big ol' hearts day.

Speaking of which, before winter break almost everyone took this compatibility sheet thingy, and today they were selling the results at lunch. For $2 you could find out who you're most compatible with + the other top 9, your two worst compatible, and your two best friends. It was funny seeing how everyone measured up to eachother, and how much people they detested were similar to them. I felt a bit cheated out since I knew no one on my list... That and I'm gay so the all female roster didn't interest me as much. They should add a sexual preference section to the sheet we had to fill out for this.

Life's lukewarm flavor's starting to annoy me (again).

. . . . . posted:||6:34 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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I just came out to my friend Jenny from Arizona. Strangely enough, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. At least she's trustworthy so I know she can keep a secret... I feel better already.

. . . . . posted:||9:24 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
All major projects done! Yes!! Now I can... erm, work on everything else I have to work on. But first, a quick rundown on the thoughts I had today...

First off, during Ceramics the first period of the day, I finally got my bear-and-blender "piggy" bank back after it was fired in the kiln... Bad news? All the colored slips were contaminated, so my beautiful piece of art which should have been all crimson and dark with the gore from the baby that fell in it... Well, the crimson came out pink, and in some places even green. o.0 The Mandarin orange that the main body of the blender was suppose to be came out in this ugly beige color, and the glazes had been eaten through so it wasn't smooth like it should have. Also, another classmate almost found out my deep dark secret ( yeah, right...). While I was playing around with the potter's wheel, she snuck a peek at my sketch book which contained the images of several guys who posed for me... and a few scantly clad ones I drew for fun. I had to feign her off by saying that I must have accudently swapped books with a fellow art major; somethign that happens fairly frequently.

I've just realized something. Compared to my sketches before I entered this school (besides the obvious improvements) I've turned my attention from trying to make something morbid yet highly sexual at the same time into creating soft porn images... It's time to revisit the style I had earlier this year. Of course, I have a feeling that one thing led to another led to this, and all outside factors are... well, factors in this. Mainly one big frustration of mine, and you can all guess who that is.

The rest of the day was more or less following the same, almost monotonous(sp) pattern, and although I was highly bored come time to go home, I was still drained of energy.

I've been listening to the new Jennifer Lopez cd for the past few days (along with several rounds of my favorite musicals). Her new cd is absolutely beautiful. Maybe it's because my preference happens to be in her style right now as opposed to when her first cd came out. Eerie thing is, track 11 "Secretly" applies to my current frustration/infatuation so accurately... I've been listening to that track non-stop.

After reading some things that Paul wrote about the general concept of the public blog, I've been inspired to write my own two cents about it. But when you think about it, this is a question all bloggers ultimately face. And when they do, either they become one of the many disenfranchised(sp) and quit blogging altogether, or they regain some lost conviction... Oh well, time to see how I rank.

I guess one of the main reasons why I chose to write a public journal of my thoughts, feelings, and experiences, is the fact that through this forum I have a certain obligation. With a regular written journal or one stored on word processor, I would have no one to share it with and therefore become bored with it. Afterall, if I needed to remember how I felt at whatever time, I can just reach back into the recesses of my mind and fish it out. 'Nother main issue is aesthetics. You can only make a paper journal so pretty and same with a wordpad. Through this html, I can make beautiful layouts and have it serve some other function, the sharing of my artwork/poetry throughout the net. But, if you've ever been reading blogs for long, you begin to find that some authors write only of quirky finds online, while others are very bare about what their thoughts, views, and feelings are. So, how do I find the courage to write so openly and truthfully? I think it all came from my longing of a trustworthy world. It's a trend I noticed in my writing a while back, the stories are boring and bland because you could trust everyone. I've always longed for a world where everyone could be trusted to at least be polite when you need some peaceful time. My subconcious takes this notion and applies it to everything I say or do. Thus, through a silly and naive longing for a better world, I've evicerated myself for all of you to see.

Hope you've enjoyed the show thus far.

. . . . . posted:||9:16 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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I can't stand music with words in it... let alone any type of speaking. Writing is fine, but if someone speaks to me at this very instant, they'll get a nice big load of shit courtesy of me... Alright, so anything spoken in English. Japanese is fine, as long as I don't recognize what they're saying... So I'm listening to a bunch of instrumentals...Yes, I know I've written myself into a drab anti-climax. Shu'p

. . . . . posted:||4:27 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Creativity is a bitch, especially if you're fresh out of it. I've been sapped of any and all creative talent for the time being, and it's affecting all my well-being. I can't think straight, I've become very irritable and bipolar, and I can't do any homework that requires any artistic skill... in otherwords, I can only work on math and science right now, and as intriguing as it is, it's rather dull compared to everything else I want to do. The frustration is mounting, and I can't stand it! This all started when I began writing another poem for Eric... I think I've burned myself out again; emotionally, physically, and creatively. Thing is, I have no idea how one would recover from it... any ideas? I can't think of any...

. . . . . posted:||4:04 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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(TheSpark.com) Gender Test isn't the most accurate test (as most are like online) but it's a lot of fun. According to this test, I'm on the 50/50 side of being man or a woman. Surprised that I didn't turn out bi from those results. Then again, what's the validity of this test?

Isn't it interesting how information is preliforated from blog to blog as the readers of a blog try the test/program/etc. and then post about it on their blogs. Interesting, huh? Not really? .... shu'p

We had guests at our school today. Being one of the best schools in the country, the Shiang Hai School of Performance Art decided to stop at our school for a performance. First of, our principal gave us a check list of what not to do (imagine an old man saying "no whooping, or calling out of "you go girl" over the annoucements). Then, everyone filed into the auditorium (rather noisly) and the show began. People were being rather annoying with their heckling comments and snickering at the mandarin spoken, but I rather liked it. We could have done without the heavily accented translator who only translated about 25% of what was said. However, the dances were beautiful. The first one was... well, it was the "dance of joy" but it looked rather siamese than chinese... but regardless it was good. Then, a little girl sang the "mushroom picking" song along with another barely understandable "eidelweiss" and one more song in madarin that I can't quite remember was about. Then next number, however, was utterly beautiful. It was the Lao story of two lovers torn apart by a war, and the fans used were artfully manipulated. The music was haunting, yet spectacular. I absolutely loved it! Next, there was a lil guy who performed martial arts. He was very fluid and elegant, however his movements had no power within them, and his form was rather sloppy. Next, there was a magic show with the usual unusually neon costumes. Regardless, everything they did was... erm, boring. Living in Vegas with the likes of Lance Burton and other well practiced magicians, I expect nothing less, and every single trick performed was a rather easy one. Last was a rather silly dance about old people trying to be young again after seeing their grandkids so energetic. Not the best way to end the program, if you ask me. However, overall the show was good. One problem, the performance threw off the whole schedual so I only had half an hour of art, and an elongated english period. oh well.

I hate falling asleep during the afternoon. Sure, I got the majority of work done for all my classes... save those two big projects. I wanted to have a chance to talk to Seri about the background music for the song her group's performing for language fair. I'm wondering when all the groupmembers will actually practice together.

Spent the better part of last night clipping stuff from old issues of People magazine. It's scary what you can find, but I want more hot-bod guys in it! XD

... Ech, need to take a lil rest now. Stupid stomach/food poisoning/grandma's cooking... I need to take over the kitchen someday.

. . . . . posted:||8:35 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Well, sticking around church for several hours was... okay, so it sucked. The only good part was when I was at the lil breakfast-nook-esque chorus section and was singing my head off. The two "youth directors" at my church are major bitches. Whilst our guest speaker was talking about the five ways that one prays, us who needed to go to chorus practice weren't allowed out. At exactly 5:00, the time when practice began, we had a break from our lecture, yet did they release us? Hell no! And their excuse? "Letting you go early would make others feel that we have partiality towards you people." Like hell! We spend much more time at church working both butts and vocal chords off than all the others, and since we're what keeps the mass interesting, we should take that time to work on our vocals or make the whole affair shit. I mean, honestly, NO ONE HERE UNDERSTANDS THE VALUE OF MUSIC!!! I swear, I hate being Catholic... I admire all religious people who have the fortitude to stick to their beliefs, but I have no such virtue.

Okay, now that I have that off my chest, I've found something quite interesting. Rant #1 by Andy Wibbels is a disturbing yet very effective crucifixtion of the modern views of theatre and media. Like Martin Luther and his doctrine nailed to the church doors, Andy practically yells at corporate media and his style of writing is very intimidating. No petty word play, no sugar coated, goose-feather-downed harsh realities. Everything presented is raw. And the presentation itself is worthy of artistic status. My gratitude, Andy, for writing something such. It's about time someone did.

. . . . . posted:||9:20 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Okay, one final note. Wouldn't it be interesting to post someone else' pic on this and see how they rank? Heheheh... now who should I victimize....

. . . . . posted:||1:44 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Okay, so there's a dual purpose for scanning that aforementioned page. I've been trying to find the "fallen angel" I saw almost a year back now. So far, no luck, but there's a rather large amount of pics so... who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky. :D

... I should write a poem about him sometime, huh?

. . . . . posted:||1:43 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So, I just spent a couple of hourshere. Yeah, the secret's out, I love laughing at the people there. True, there are some hot ones there, but most aren't so why waste a good laugh? I'd post a pic there (go ego!) but one, I'm scared of how I'd rank and two, I look butt ugly. >.< But, I have been emplimenting (sp) that diet I promised myself during newyears. All I need to do now is find time to get some exercising done... Tread-mill ho!

. . . . . posted:||1:41 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Eh, I HATE sundays. Not only is the fact that I have to get going to that dreaded building called a church, but I have, as of late, a lot of homework to work on! Right now, someone stupidly put the house temperature at 85 degrees... sure, that sounds nice, but my room's directly under the central vent. In otherwords, I get the brunt of the heating system! Call it part of my traits as being an Aquarius, but I work so much better when it's nice and chilly... When it's too warm or hot, I get super sleepy. Not a good thing when you still have a lot of homework due for Health and Biology due in the next few days... and I still have to learn the music for tonight! >o<.... ugh, someone save me!

. . . . . posted:||1:20 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Ah... so much to talk about ^_^

First off, the concert was the best one I've been to so far; and I am a frequent concert attender. There was this really cool rap group (two black guys and one white one) that opened up the show, and Taproot played an awesome set. The lighting matched the songs, and the acoustics didn't take away from the sound quality... I just left that part to my friend's incessant screaming. We were a bit nonplussed when Taproot's guitarist (major hottie) didn't remember us from the last time they came to Vegas when we said that "Meeting him was like meeting Jesus." :( Oh well... Linkin Park was really a lot of fun. I only knew two of their songs, but they had a lot of energy and it was a lot of fun... that and I was sandwiched between two very cute guys at the front row. ^_~ The rest of the crowd was really funny as well. There were a couple of girls at the balcony who were slappin' them asses and flashed their bras... on the opposite side, a guy in a wife beater who did some weird Riverdance-esque jig with a glowstick in his fly o.0... And behind me, the guy who was cussing out both these two.

Interesting thing happened during the show. Most of the people there thought that my friend that I brought was my girlfriend. LOL! If only then knew, man. If only they knew...

Today passed by... rather slowly. I just worked on finishing homework for english (too much typing! ;_;), biology (the genetics album turned out pretty well), and started on my health project. I still need to gather images for that project, and I have to decide the new subject of a painting/ink drawing that I'll submit to the district-wide art contest. Not to mention working on a new poem to send to Eric... but all in due course, I guess.

I still have to learn the music for the mass I have to sing at tomorrow. ;_; And according to Jake (the other guy in the choir) it's realy hard... but he might just be saying that cause he has a solo... then again so do I >.<

Got my hair trimmed today. Nothing like a fresh cut to help your facial expression!... 'Cept that I cut myself with the razor shaving today. ouch!

I was watching the "Torch Song Trilogy" on Bravo today. That movie's... okay. Nothing too unusual, just a nice sweet story bout a drag queen in love. Funny thing... Mathew Broderick (sp) is in the movie as the lead's major love interest. Sad that he had to die, though. I'm just thankful that it's no longer the 70's-80's.

Heh... Heckling Mia's boyfriend is fun! Funny thing is, we're talking about S&M stuff, and he doesn't know I'm gay ^_^.

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Heh, birthday hijinks are... erm, interesting to say the least. First off, I got an e-card from Paul (see it here!) and it's really cute! Weird thing is, it's the same day as his former roommate's bday. And seeing how compatible most room mates are... Anyways, now I'm officially a teen instead of a "tween" (according to Teen People, anyway), but that means I'm halfway to 30! ;_; I feel old (again).

No one really noticed that it was my bday at school today... except for Bernau sensei who said "tanjyoubi omedetou!" which is japanese for happy birthday. Then everyone found out about it, and all the people who borrowed money from me for lunch that day felt bad since it was my b-day. Mica wanted to know what she should get me for it, so I naturally said PS2! :p Eventually, we evened it out at a pair of tiger striped thongs. o.0 ... At least it'll match my furry handcuffs and whip! XD

Alrighty, I checked out my b-day horoscope according to Yahoo! Astrologer. Here it is:

"Often truth spoken with a smile will penetrate the mind and reach the heart." (Homer) Happy birthday!

If today is your special day, you love to associate with like-minded people. You frequently band together with others to support a worthy cause.

The relationship you form with your partner this year will be unusual but rewarding. This person will be your best friend and confidant. There's no question of his or her devotion to you. However much you enjoy private time with your loved one, each of you will pursue separate hobbies and interests.

You're entering a period of great career growth. The experience you gain this year will prove very valuable. The physical aspect of your work will be demanding, and it will be a challenge to make time for your personal life. Your total income will be higher than you expected.

Birthday for February 2, 2001 by Astronet.com

Rapper T-Mo (Goodie Mob) is 29
Rock musician Ben Mize (Counting Crows) is 30
Rock musician Robert DeLeo (Stone Temple Pilots) is 35
Actress Kim Zimmer is 46
Actor Michael Talbott is 46
Model Christie Brinkley is 47
Actress Farrah Fawcett is 54
Country singer Howard Bellamy (The Bellamy Brothers) is 55
Television executive Barry Diller is 59
Actor Bo Hopkins is 59
Rock singer-guitarist Graham Nash is 59
Comedian Tom Smothers is 64
Actor Robert Mandan is 69
Actress Elaine Stritch is 75

Not much useful info, but then again when are fake horoscopes ever real?

My grandma just handed me a card with $50 in it. The $50 is fine and dandy, however it was a card for a grandma. The "ma" part was crossed out and "son" was written above it. -_- That's not only very FOB-ish... that's just down right GHETTO! Oh well, I get money :p

Well, I'm decked out in my usual concert attire: maroon nylon pants with a thousand pockets, a matching undershirt with a black clubbing shirt over it (this one has an iridescent rouge et noir dragon on the back), and I've color-hairsprayed a stripe of red down the center of my head. The concert'll be fun... except I'd much rather watch the Dance PE show today. Oh well, I'll just get the tape.

Me friend is coming over soon so we can go to the rock forum. I'll just grab some lemon slices and salt (perfect concert energy-provider) and wait downstairs for her. Later, everyone!

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After emailing Paul with a list of recomended books, I ne'er noticed exactly how much I loved reading books. Pretty ironic that I read so much and don't write much fiction myself. Guess I just prefer to write poetry and save myself the grueling pre-writing rituals.

In Health, we did this small exercise where you had to name a color, animal, and a body of water, and three adjectives to describe them. Then, she tells us that it was a short psychology exercise and each subject described was your outlook on various things were like. My results are as follows:
Red : how you feel about yourself
-sensual, provocative, warm
Koala : how people view you
-cute, gentle, parentive
Tidal Waves : how you view your future
-vast, incessant, intimidating
... Yeah, I don't agree with it much too.

My sister apparently isn't ready to accept the fact that I want to be openly gay. I did drop off my letter to Eric, but when she saw that he read it, she passed it off as a poem that I wanted her to revise. And all I have to say is..... GOD DAMN HER! Now, I can't leave poems in his locker anymore since that now directly links me to poetry writing. I wanted to court him by sending those lil "love notes", but now that idea's been shot to hell. I just feel like telling him that I like him only to spite her... but I know I'm not ready to come outta the closet yet. :|

I've been listening to my Final Fantasy 6 Revisited CD. It's been a while since I have, and I completely forgot how beautiful the music is. Indeed, whoever usually does the FinalFantasy music outdid himself in that game, as well as FinalFantasyTactics. The combination of flute, cello, and a voice is really beautiful.

Tomorrow's my birthday. It'll go by unnoticed, like last year, so I don't really expect much except the concert. But, as of 6:00am February 2nd, I'll be 15. I strangely feel... old.

... Yeah, so I was born on Groundhog's Day. Shut'up!

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