(cut to mid-conversation)
Jen: Hey guys, I have to go find Angela. I'll see ya. (stands up from chair and leaves)
Zack: Bye Jen.
C: (settles into Jen's chair) Um... Zack?
Zack: Yes.
C: Would it be too forward... if I asked you to Sadies? ::sheepishly grins, then looks down::
Zack: ::smile:: Well... I'm going with a group of friends.
C: Oh..
Zack: It's kinda our thing to all go to the dances as a group. Sorry.
C: That's cool. Um...
(silence)
C: Would it be too forward if I said that you are attractive?
Zack: ::smiles:: Not at all. Thank you.
... ^_^
. . . . . posted:||10:24 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Currently (and metaphorically) bashing my head against the wall out of frustration again. I blame my grandma for triggering it. I blame Zack for being so unaccessible if I ever just wanted to talk. Alone.
Grrr!!!
::turns up bamoobu to maximum volume::
Grrr!!!
::turns up bamoobu to maximum volume::
. . . . . posted:||9:52 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
You will marry CHRISTIAN (played by Ewan McGregor) from Moulin Rouge, live in a sparkling elephant at the Moulin Rouge, and spend your days righting wrongs and singing songs because all you need is love (and it helps that it's Ewan McGregregor you're living with ^_^).
What's YOUR M * A * S * H future?
Hell yes! And to celebrate my disgustingly good mood... Bamoobu is finished! (aka Bad Mood Buster). It's a playlist of some 40 songs guaranteed to bust any bad mood at the moment! ^_^
. . . . . posted:||5:13 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
This day just keeps getting better and better!
Finally discussed language fair in Japanese. I get to be one of the poem reciters this year!
In photo we discussed our next assignment which will be a documentary one. I get to invade most of my friends' lockers to take pics!
In Algebra we got a new student. And he's...::drumroll:: Mike S.! Back from biology class last year. Claire developed a large crush on him almost on the spot, meanwhile I tried in vain to initiate conversation with Zack. Maybe tomorrow will be a bit easier.
Art comes 'round and we're finally getting back into oil painting. Whoo!
And just now, I frollicked in the falling snow!
I'm content at the moment!
Finally discussed language fair in Japanese. I get to be one of the poem reciters this year!
In photo we discussed our next assignment which will be a documentary one. I get to invade most of my friends' lockers to take pics!
In Algebra we got a new student. And he's...::drumroll:: Mike S.! Back from biology class last year. Claire developed a large crush on him almost on the spot, meanwhile I tried in vain to initiate conversation with Zack. Maybe tomorrow will be a bit easier.
Art comes 'round and we're finally getting back into oil painting. Whoo!
And just now, I frollicked in the falling snow!
I'm content at the moment!
. . . . . posted:||4:16 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
A huge load has just been lifted from my shoulders.
I can feel the blue skies coming back again.
I can feel the blue skies coming back again.
. . . . . posted:||10:56 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So, this day finds me better, more or less.
Just as I was feeling better, had another vomitting spell. How could I throw up anything when I haven't eaten? o.0
Currently falling in love again with Billy Corgan. ::sigh::
Fingers cold... cannot type...
And I've lost the urge to pour my heart into a cup to serve to you.
Just as I was feeling better, had another vomitting spell. How could I throw up anything when I haven't eaten? o.0
Currently falling in love again with Billy Corgan. ::sigh::
Fingers cold... cannot type...
And I've lost the urge to pour my heart into a cup to serve to you.
. . . . . posted:||9:10 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I'm beginning to notice how a little less then half the friends I have keep relatively attractive people around them.
.... "That act only works with an audience."
I'm going to bed before I break/slash/puncture/burn something/someone.
.... "That act only works with an audience."
I'm going to bed before I break/slash/puncture/burn something/someone.
. . . . . posted:||10:43 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I wished that you could've stayed on the phone a bit longer.
. . . . . posted:||10:30 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So, let's trace the path to my current (and extreme) mood.
First, got stood up. Nothing really too much to be pissy 'bout, but I drew that picture with all the blood in it. Definite sign.
Later, church. Lee shows his frustration with my inconstant singing quality through his facial expressions. And I know that each dagger stare he threw was at me. During mass I tried singing but was too flustered to let myself go. Halfway through I started belting notes again, but apparently they still weren't loud enough to be heard.
You want loud? ::screams::
On the drive to 5-n-Diner, dad throws a comment to his two children's braking abilities. Naturally I'm ticked that he would generalize since he knows that I can break better than sis. He retorts with a comment on my inability to brake, bringing up the time I tried a right-hand turn at 45mph. Then he makes a point to say all the steps to a "proper" turn when he turns into the parking lot despite the fact that I practically yelled that I knew how to do it properly. Whose fault is it that I haven't had ample time to practice/prove myself again?
Just now people've been trying to "help" me with my situation with Zack. For fuck's sake people, I'M SHY!
Sure, I'd like a boyfriend at the moment. However, it's been so long that I've forgotten how to do everything.
And far-away crushes are easier to handle because I wouldn't know what to do if I ever landed any of them.
See Matt? This is why you go after people you can never have.
I like my safe distance from people.
Fuck, I like distance period.
Heh, look at me. Growing more hypocritical every moment. Full of bullshit that I'm exploding out the sides.
Where's that hopeless romantic who would welcome affection with open arms? Who would experience and feel love? Where's that need to make a deeper connection?
This is just like yesterday. Every word I speak seems to piss off some people. FUCK.
I can't say what I mean, nor do I truly know what I mean in the first place.
And then there's that large lie looming above my head like some incessant and dooming pendulum. I can almost taste the rust on it's jagged scythe.
.... fuck....
...
help?
First, got stood up. Nothing really too much to be pissy 'bout, but I drew that picture with all the blood in it. Definite sign.
Later, church. Lee shows his frustration with my inconstant singing quality through his facial expressions. And I know that each dagger stare he threw was at me. During mass I tried singing but was too flustered to let myself go. Halfway through I started belting notes again, but apparently they still weren't loud enough to be heard.
You want loud? ::screams::
On the drive to 5-n-Diner, dad throws a comment to his two children's braking abilities. Naturally I'm ticked that he would generalize since he knows that I can break better than sis. He retorts with a comment on my inability to brake, bringing up the time I tried a right-hand turn at 45mph. Then he makes a point to say all the steps to a "proper" turn when he turns into the parking lot despite the fact that I practically yelled that I knew how to do it properly. Whose fault is it that I haven't had ample time to practice/prove myself again?
Just now people've been trying to "help" me with my situation with Zack. For fuck's sake people, I'M SHY!
Sure, I'd like a boyfriend at the moment. However, it's been so long that I've forgotten how to do everything.
And far-away crushes are easier to handle because I wouldn't know what to do if I ever landed any of them.
See Matt? This is why you go after people you can never have.
I like my safe distance from people.
Fuck, I like distance period.
Heh, look at me. Growing more hypocritical every moment. Full of bullshit that I'm exploding out the sides.
Where's that hopeless romantic who would welcome affection with open arms? Who would experience and feel love? Where's that need to make a deeper connection?
This is just like yesterday. Every word I speak seems to piss off some people. FUCK.
I can't say what I mean, nor do I truly know what I mean in the first place.
And then there's that large lie looming above my head like some incessant and dooming pendulum. I can almost taste the rust on it's jagged scythe.
.... fuck....
...
help?
. . . . . posted:||10:29 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ugh... again, fuck all shining people. Fuck all aristocrats.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
. . . . . posted:||9:41 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I was suppose to go off on a lil adventure with Taylor and DJ... but they ne'er showed up by the dock. Pooh. So instead I sat around and drew a bit. Apparently images of people with nails in their eye sockets, no matter how elegantly executed and presented, tend to scare off little children and old men.
And it's disturbing to witness a social order of ducks, geece, and pigeons at the local pond. o.0
And it's disturbing to witness a social order of ducks, geece, and pigeons at the local pond. o.0
. . . . . posted:||4:29 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Well, you can add this to one of those rare Sin City moments: dad witnessed a 65 minute run on the craps table which cost the casino several million dollars. Heheheh.
. . . . . posted:||11:42 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sarah's been bugging me 'bout what I said below. Should I tell her or not...?
In other news, I went under the hair clippers again today. The new hairstylist did quite a good job... but she raked my scalp with the comb. Later she says that I'm one of those people who get rashes whenever I get my hair cut and I should douse my head in alcohol before I go for one... Whose fault was it again? Yargh.
Also at the mall, got a new pair of black dress(y) pants since my old ones were a bit... loose. That's good, right?
In other news, I went under the hair clippers again today. The new hairstylist did quite a good job... but she raked my scalp with the comb. Later she says that I'm one of those people who get rashes whenever I get my hair cut and I should douse my head in alcohol before I go for one... Whose fault was it again? Yargh.
Also at the mall, got a new pair of black dress(y) pants since my old ones were a bit... loose. That's good, right?
. . . . . posted:||5:07 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Party was fun. A massive game of suck'n'blow ensued, but I took no part since I was playing Monopoly. It was like summerschool all over again.
The end of the night left me feeling even more inadequate... stupid shining people. I hate being average in some respects.
I think I'll listen to more Konstantine now.
The end of the night left me feeling even more inadequate... stupid shining people. I hate being average in some respects.
I think I'll listen to more Konstantine now.
. . . . . posted:||12:10 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So, am I glad that midterms are now officially over? Yes... and no. I didn't get to talk to Zach like I had planned. Sure, asked him a question (which Marcy answered instead) but that was about it. At least the chemistry test was far easier than I had anticipated. Leave it to me to forget never to over-estimate my teacher.
As for art... again, easy. Patryckja scared me a bit when she couldn't find the notes I lent her, but eventually she did and all was well again. Treat gave me a lemon cookie which she said tasted awful... I thought it was good. Gave me a headache, but it was still good none-the-less.
While waiting for dad to swing 'round, Jyl, sis, and I had a discussion on the degrading value of fellatio when (speak of the devil) Tyler comes 'round. Gave him the picture I drew for him (which was followed by a hard hug) and he was off. Afterwards I noticed that the sweater I was wearing didn't completely match the buttoned shirt onto, so I took off the shirt... sh'up, I know I'm fashion conscious.
Yesterday I had an extreme moment of melancholy and fell asleep for 10 hours listening to Something Corporate's piano ballad: "Konstantine"
I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
when the lights are turned down low
and I don't understand all the things you've seen
but i'm slipping inbetween
you and your big dreams
it's always you
in my big dreams
and you tell me that it's over
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers
and your restless, and i'm naked
you've gotta get out
you can't stand to see me shaking
no
could you let me go?
I didn't think so
and you don't wanna be here in the future
so you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past
and you don't wanna look much closer
cuz your afraid to find out all this hope you had sent into the sky by now had crashed
and it did
because of me
and then you bring me home
afraid to find out that you're alone
and i'm sleeping in your living room
but we don't have much room to live
I had these dreams that i learned to play guitar
maybe cross the country
become a rock star
and there was hope in me that i could take you there
but dammit you're so young
well i don't think i care
and if i hurt you
then i'm sorry
please don't think that this is easy
then you bring me home
cuz we both know what it's like to be alone
and i'm dreaming in your living room
but we don't have much room to live
and konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesn't she look good
standing in her underwear
and i was thinking
what i was thinking
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere
my Konstantine came walking down the stairs
and all that i could do is touch her long blonde hair
and i've been thinking
it hurts me thinking that these nights when we were drinking no they never got us anywhere
no
this is because i can spell konfusion with a k
and i like it
it's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it
it's to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car
when the first star you see may not be a star
I'm not your star
isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant
and if this is what it takes
just to lie in my mistakes
and live with what i did to you
and all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock
it's 11:11
and now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
you'll always be my konstantine
konstantine, they'll never hurt you like i do
no they'll never hurt you like i do
no, no, no no no no no no
this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
hey
you know
you keep me up in bed
this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things i did
hey
maybe
baby
you could keep me up in bed
my Konstantine
spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen
and i said
did you know i missed you? (x7)
oh god i miss you
and then you bring me home
and we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no
and you'll kiss me in your living room
i know
you'll miss me in your living room
cuz these nights i think maybe that i'll miss you in my living room
we don't have much room
i said does anybody need that room?
because we all need a little more room
to live
my Konstantine
The song's effing 10 minutes long. I love it. Like most others who've heard the song, the first hearing left us bawling or glistening at the eye. I think I shall listen to it again now...
Oh, and party at Sarah's. Matt called saying he had a dilemma 'bout which party to go to. As usual, he ignored all the subtle hints I left until I blatantly told him to go to Sarah's instead of Heather's. Yargh.
As for art... again, easy. Patryckja scared me a bit when she couldn't find the notes I lent her, but eventually she did and all was well again. Treat gave me a lemon cookie which she said tasted awful... I thought it was good. Gave me a headache, but it was still good none-the-less.
While waiting for dad to swing 'round, Jyl, sis, and I had a discussion on the degrading value of fellatio when (speak of the devil) Tyler comes 'round. Gave him the picture I drew for him (which was followed by a hard hug) and he was off. Afterwards I noticed that the sweater I was wearing didn't completely match the buttoned shirt onto, so I took off the shirt... sh'up, I know I'm fashion conscious.
Yesterday I had an extreme moment of melancholy and fell asleep for 10 hours listening to Something Corporate's piano ballad: "Konstantine"
I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
when the lights are turned down low
and I don't understand all the things you've seen
but i'm slipping inbetween
you and your big dreams
it's always you
in my big dreams
and you tell me that it's over
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers
and your restless, and i'm naked
you've gotta get out
you can't stand to see me shaking
no
could you let me go?
I didn't think so
and you don't wanna be here in the future
so you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past
and you don't wanna look much closer
cuz your afraid to find out all this hope you had sent into the sky by now had crashed
and it did
because of me
and then you bring me home
afraid to find out that you're alone
and i'm sleeping in your living room
but we don't have much room to live
I had these dreams that i learned to play guitar
maybe cross the country
become a rock star
and there was hope in me that i could take you there
but dammit you're so young
well i don't think i care
and if i hurt you
then i'm sorry
please don't think that this is easy
then you bring me home
cuz we both know what it's like to be alone
and i'm dreaming in your living room
but we don't have much room to live
and konstantine is walking down the stairs
doesn't she look good
standing in her underwear
and i was thinking
what i was thinking
we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere
my Konstantine came walking down the stairs
and all that i could do is touch her long blonde hair
and i've been thinking
it hurts me thinking that these nights when we were drinking no they never got us anywhere
no
this is because i can spell konfusion with a k
and i like it
it's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it
it's to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car
when the first star you see may not be a star
I'm not your star
isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant
and if this is what it takes
just to lie in my mistakes
and live with what i did to you
and all the hell I put you through
I always catch the clock
it's 11:11
and now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
you'll always be my konstantine
konstantine, they'll never hurt you like i do
no they'll never hurt you like i do
no, no, no no no no no no
this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
hey
you know
you keep me up in bed
this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things i did
hey
maybe
baby
you could keep me up in bed
my Konstantine
spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen
and i said
did you know i missed you? (x7)
oh god i miss you
and then you bring me home
and we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no
and you'll kiss me in your living room
i know
you'll miss me in your living room
cuz these nights i think maybe that i'll miss you in my living room
we don't have much room
i said does anybody need that room?
because we all need a little more room
to live
my Konstantine
The song's effing 10 minutes long. I love it. Like most others who've heard the song, the first hearing left us bawling or glistening at the eye. I think I shall listen to it again now...
Oh, and party at Sarah's. Matt called saying he had a dilemma 'bout which party to go to. As usual, he ignored all the subtle hints I left until I blatantly told him to go to Sarah's instead of Heather's. Yargh.
. . . . . posted:||4:06 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ahem. This ties into the conversation about CareBears last night:
See what Care Bear you are.
.... are we surprised?
See what Care Bear you are.
.... are we surprised?
. . . . . posted:||3:31 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Oh lord... adobo? As in the dish that my grandmother makes in excess? ::sigh:: Just be sure not to use too many bay leaves or ginger... it kills the flavor.
(and ditto, I share your need for smokey cafes. Albeit I've only been to one (Roma) and that was rank with cheap cigarette fumes... ahem, anyways)
Only had my algebra exam today. Despite previous notions of that class (read: insanely easy) the test itself was extremely brutal. Multiple choice was the easy part, but once we had to show our work and deal with linear programming and complex matricies... whoo.
I would've flirted a bit more with Zach... but a) he didn't finish the test in time b) he's rather shy and c) I'm shy too. Pity, since Auki thought I looked hot today. (then again we all know that she's lying)
The next exam period (7th) was for art, but since I have art for 7th and 8th the class was spent working on our graphite self-portrait studies. Mine is coming along rather well... except that people thought I looked like the Lil Buddha. At least I'm satisified at how closely it resembles me. Also during this period: the premiere artist from last year's graduating class, Becky, came by for a visit.
Just finished viewing Battle Royale. Reaction to the bloody massacre soon to follow.
(and ditto, I share your need for smokey cafes. Albeit I've only been to one (Roma) and that was rank with cheap cigarette fumes... ahem, anyways)
Only had my algebra exam today. Despite previous notions of that class (read: insanely easy) the test itself was extremely brutal. Multiple choice was the easy part, but once we had to show our work and deal with linear programming and complex matricies... whoo.
I would've flirted a bit more with Zach... but a) he didn't finish the test in time b) he's rather shy and c) I'm shy too. Pity, since Auki thought I looked hot today. (then again we all know that she's lying)
The next exam period (7th) was for art, but since I have art for 7th and 8th the class was spent working on our graphite self-portrait studies. Mine is coming along rather well... except that people thought I looked like the Lil Buddha. At least I'm satisified at how closely it resembles me. Also during this period: the premiere artist from last year's graduating class, Becky, came by for a visit.
Just finished viewing Battle Royale. Reaction to the bloody massacre soon to follow.
. . . . . posted:||3:14 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Matt: watcha doin
Me: I felt like sticking my tongue out at you
Me: :p
Matt: im listening to P.O.D.
Me: aah
Matt: youth of the nation
Me: Dashboard for me
Matt: ah si
Matt: we are we are youth of the nation
Matt: we are
Matt: we are
Matt: youth of the nation
Me: I'm tired of being alone
Matt: i am too
Me: so hurry up and get here
Me: so tired of being alone~
Me: so hurry up and get here
Matt: k
Me: :p
Matt: im on my way over
Matt: hehehehe
Me: ha!
Me: you broke your new-laugh streak
Matt: what
Matt: yes i know
Me: keekeekeekee
Matt: but see there is an actual difference between the two
Me: true
Matt: i actually make the keekeekee
Matt: sound
Matt: and the hehehehehe
Me: mine sound more like heh
Me: heh heh heh
. . .
Dare we ask? It just gets worse...
But to save space, here's a list of all the shows we hold in mutual regards from our childhood:
- My Little Pony (tv and movies)
- Care Bears (tv and movies)
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Gummi Bears
- Tailspin
- Ronin Warriors
- Dragon Ball (before Goku grows up)
- Voltron
- VR Troopers
- Reading Rainbow
- Conan
- Bewitched
- I Dream of Jeanne
- Clarissa Explains It All
- Family Double Dare
- Hey! Dude
- Are You Afraid of the Dark?
- Legends of the Lost Lagoon
- Videogame Challenge
. . .
.... eep.
Me: I felt like sticking my tongue out at you
Me: :p
Matt: im listening to P.O.D.
Me: aah
Matt: youth of the nation
Me: Dashboard for me
Matt: ah si
Matt: we are we are youth of the nation
Matt: we are
Matt: we are
Matt: youth of the nation
Me: I'm tired of being alone
Matt: i am too
Me: so hurry up and get here
Me: so tired of being alone~
Me: so hurry up and get here
Matt: k
Me: :p
Matt: im on my way over
Matt: hehehehe
Me: ha!
Me: you broke your new-laugh streak
Matt: what
Matt: yes i know
Me: keekeekeekee
Matt: but see there is an actual difference between the two
Me: true
Matt: i actually make the keekeekee
Matt: sound
Matt: and the hehehehehe
Me: mine sound more like heh
Me: heh heh heh
. . .
Dare we ask? It just gets worse...
But to save space, here's a list of all the shows we hold in mutual regards from our childhood:
- My Little Pony (tv and movies)
- Care Bears (tv and movies)
- Sonic the Hedgehog
- Gummi Bears
- Tailspin
- Ronin Warriors
- Dragon Ball (before Goku grows up)
- Voltron
- VR Troopers
- Reading Rainbow
- Conan
- Bewitched
- I Dream of Jeanne
- Clarissa Explains It All
- Family Double Dare
- Hey! Dude
- Are You Afraid of the Dark?
- Legends of the Lost Lagoon
- Videogame Challenge
. . .
.... eep.
. . . . . posted:||11:57 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So, update upon the next two exams:
Japanese: EEEAAASSSYYY. I think I went a bit over-board with the essay portion; I wrote half a page. Given that this is in Japanese and I'm still a novice... that's a lot of writing.
Photo: Not necessarily easy, but I finished within the first 20 minutes of the test anyways. Cleaned up for about 30 minutes as I was charged to do, and then hung out with Lauren for much of the remainder of time.
Afterwards, dad was almost 2 hours late in picking up sis and I. Yeesh.
Japanese: EEEAAASSSYYY. I think I went a bit over-board with the essay portion; I wrote half a page. Given that this is in Japanese and I'm still a novice... that's a lot of writing.
Photo: Not necessarily easy, but I finished within the first 20 minutes of the test anyways. Cleaned up for about 30 minutes as I was charged to do, and then hung out with Lauren for much of the remainder of time.
Afterwards, dad was almost 2 hours late in picking up sis and I. Yeesh.
. . . . . posted:||11:51 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Survived the first two of seven arduous trials (read: semester exams) with an unusual amount of energy left over. Ahem...
English: Insanely easy, but knowing my teacher like I do, that only further proves that the final exam will be severely challenging. Would have finished faster if I didn't have to think up concluding sentences for my essays... but everything else was a breeze. (funny thing to note: Ms. Miller says this after everyone was finally finished with their tests: "Was it good for you? 'Cause it was great for me." At that moment Will and I turn to eachother and give one of those looks which screamed 'she did not just...')
World History: Another easy one. Considering that I didn't need the notes she allowed us to use, that's saying a lot. Then again... this is Hoffy we're talking about. Anyways, she was dreadfully ill so 15 minutes into the test she left and let another teacher take over for her. Later free time in that class consisted of Nikki, Claire, and I perusing someone's photo album. Joy.
The rest of the day consisted of chemistry (worked on my self-portrait exercise while the teach droned on) and art.
. . .
Hmm... Rica-san's 17 already?! And she failed to mention this fact today at lunch?! ::pout::
I'll have to get you a belated present of sorts then.
. . .
Today's weather was exquisite. Sunny, semi-cloudy with large cotton candy fluffs, and a rapturous breeze. I feel like taking a walk. ^_^
English: Insanely easy, but knowing my teacher like I do, that only further proves that the final exam will be severely challenging. Would have finished faster if I didn't have to think up concluding sentences for my essays... but everything else was a breeze. (funny thing to note: Ms. Miller says this after everyone was finally finished with their tests: "Was it good for you? 'Cause it was great for me." At that moment Will and I turn to eachother and give one of those looks which screamed 'she did not just...')
World History: Another easy one. Considering that I didn't need the notes she allowed us to use, that's saying a lot. Then again... this is Hoffy we're talking about. Anyways, she was dreadfully ill so 15 minutes into the test she left and let another teacher take over for her. Later free time in that class consisted of Nikki, Claire, and I perusing someone's photo album. Joy.
The rest of the day consisted of chemistry (worked on my self-portrait exercise while the teach droned on) and art.
. . .
Hmm... Rica-san's 17 already?! And she failed to mention this fact today at lunch?! ::pout::
I'll have to get you a belated present of sorts then.
. . .
Today's weather was exquisite. Sunny, semi-cloudy with large cotton candy fluffs, and a rapturous breeze. I feel like taking a walk. ^_^
. . . . . posted:||3:25 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Christen:
"With all the single gay guys at LVA bitching and moaning about their status, you'd imagine that all of you would've hooked up by now. Whatever would you do without your fag pimps?"
Me:
"Stay single and run columns in OutTimes about how much dating sucks?"
Christen:
"Exactly!"
"With all the single gay guys at LVA bitching and moaning about their status, you'd imagine that all of you would've hooked up by now. Whatever would you do without your fag pimps?"
Me:
"Stay single and run columns in OutTimes about how much dating sucks?"
Christen:
"Exactly!"
. . . . . posted:||1:24 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Day filled with a binge-and-purge cycle... just kidding. Felt like it given all the highs and lows today.
Then again, I'm just bipolar.
Can't really use that as an excuse.
Then again, I'm just bipolar.
Can't really use that as an excuse.
. . . . . posted:||12:10 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Hmm... so, I think I found a few explanations. Mainly the reason why I tend to partially reveal a secret then quickly refuse to say it. I'll give you a hint: it goes back to my issues with trust. For the majority of the time I speak without thinking completely twice of what I'm saying. Thus I realize that I've hinted at something I don't wish to reveal and have to become adamant about not sharing it afterwards.
.... ::slaps hand::
I need to learn not to listen to any love songs past 9:00pm.
.... ::slaps hand::
I need to learn not to listen to any love songs past 9:00pm.
. . . . . posted:||10:15 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
John Mayer's "Love Song for No One"
Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me
. . .
Oh holy fuck that's hitting the effing target...
Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me
. . .
Oh holy fuck that's hitting the effing target...
. . . . . posted:||11:06 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Note of apology to all those who know me. Lately I've been rather self-centered and horridly maudlin/melodramatic and in doing so has incited much annoyance in several people.
To Flavey: I know you've had enough about my one-line lamentations. I'll stop, I promise.
To Rica: Haven't really talked to you much these past few days... but I'm betting that all these musing you read have become rather redundant and boring.
To Karen: Need to talk to ya! If only I could manage to stay awake after I get home from school...
To Marcy: I sincerely hope you get better... and that the pity from others doesn't crush you
Apparently I give off the aire of a nymphomaniac. Well, at least DJ thought so when we talked a bit before 8th period. He was explaining how he wanted the type of relationship that consisted of watching sunsets and running through fields of daisies. I shot him down a bit for searching for a relationship during highschool (Liz: "Highschoolers are immature, ill-equipped, and melodramatic. I would never date another one again.") but then found some common ground when I spoke about the subject matter of dreams about my infatuations. Cuddling after a long day at work... shopping for china and silverware and linen... bringing him home for thanksgiving dinner...
Later DJ gave me a note saying how he never figured that I'd be the hopeless (albiet semi-disillusioned) romantic that he was...
Which brings me to another issue which has been haunting my time. I told Lauren of my slight infatuation/attraction towards Zach. She asked whether he was gay or not, and upon an affirmative answer, wondered why I haven't tried pursuing him. I think that I've been too scared to try anything. Or timid. Or extremely reticent. How hypocritical: I want someone to hold at night but I'm reluctant to start anything. Same thing with DJ.
Sis' droning on about the concert she went to... frankly I could care less.
To Flavey: I know you've had enough about my one-line lamentations. I'll stop, I promise.
To Rica: Haven't really talked to you much these past few days... but I'm betting that all these musing you read have become rather redundant and boring.
To Karen: Need to talk to ya! If only I could manage to stay awake after I get home from school...
To Marcy: I sincerely hope you get better... and that the pity from others doesn't crush you
Apparently I give off the aire of a nymphomaniac. Well, at least DJ thought so when we talked a bit before 8th period. He was explaining how he wanted the type of relationship that consisted of watching sunsets and running through fields of daisies. I shot him down a bit for searching for a relationship during highschool (Liz: "Highschoolers are immature, ill-equipped, and melodramatic. I would never date another one again.") but then found some common ground when I spoke about the subject matter of dreams about my infatuations. Cuddling after a long day at work... shopping for china and silverware and linen... bringing him home for thanksgiving dinner...
Later DJ gave me a note saying how he never figured that I'd be the hopeless (albiet semi-disillusioned) romantic that he was...
Which brings me to another issue which has been haunting my time. I told Lauren of my slight infatuation/attraction towards Zach. She asked whether he was gay or not, and upon an affirmative answer, wondered why I haven't tried pursuing him. I think that I've been too scared to try anything. Or timid. Or extremely reticent. How hypocritical: I want someone to hold at night but I'm reluctant to start anything. Same thing with DJ.
Sis' droning on about the concert she went to... frankly I could care less.
. . . . . posted:||10:52 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ahem.... MATTHEW ELLIOT McB**********!!! You have exactly 48 hours to contact me if you want to learn that secret I've been dangling like a carrot infront of your face!
In other news...
- got a black feather boa from Christen (hug hug) and wore it all day long.
- gift proved to be very useful in cheering up Claire
- tied up Lauren for another photo shoot (gave her marks)
- got tied up for same photo shoot
- got up close and personal with my reflection for art. scary.
I'm in heat again. This time I'm desperate and scouring the surface for someone suitable... to buy china and silverware with. Yes ladies and gents, Chucky has yet to give up on his search for a meaningful relationship. Now to list the possibilities:
- DJ: been in the long-runnings for a while, but we've been avoiding eachother for inexplicable reasons.
- Will: yes, I would be his rebound bitch
- Matt 1: all those who know this one, it has gotten worse
- Matt 2: yes, old feelings are resurfacing, but I've been able to surpress
- Zack: great personality, RHPS and Smashing Pumpkins enthusiast but...
- Cooper: main reason... androgyny turns me on
- Christian: seems nice enough, but normally not for going with other asians
- Casey (bandmajor): if it weren't for Heidi, I'd jump him
- Clayton: shared sentiments with Flavey concerning this one
- Eric: again, old embers stirring
- Taylor: who cares if he has a girlfriend?!
- Brady: another past crush
Oy vey... I think I'm feeling listy tonight.
In other news...
- got a black feather boa from Christen (hug hug) and wore it all day long.
- gift proved to be very useful in cheering up Claire
- tied up Lauren for another photo shoot (gave her marks)
- got tied up for same photo shoot
- got up close and personal with my reflection for art. scary.
I'm in heat again. This time I'm desperate and scouring the surface for someone suitable... to buy china and silverware with. Yes ladies and gents, Chucky has yet to give up on his search for a meaningful relationship. Now to list the possibilities:
- DJ: been in the long-runnings for a while, but we've been avoiding eachother for inexplicable reasons.
- Will: yes, I would be his rebound bitch
- Matt 1: all those who know this one, it has gotten worse
- Matt 2: yes, old feelings are resurfacing, but I've been able to surpress
- Zack: great personality, RHPS and Smashing Pumpkins enthusiast but...
- Cooper: main reason... androgyny turns me on
- Christian: seems nice enough, but normally not for going with other asians
- Casey (bandmajor): if it weren't for Heidi, I'd jump him
- Clayton: shared sentiments with Flavey concerning this one
- Eric: again, old embers stirring
- Taylor: who cares if he has a girlfriend?!
- Brady: another past crush
Oy vey... I think I'm feeling listy tonight.
. . . . . posted:||9:56 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I could list all the flaws within my family unit which go against my own principles on how to live life, but evicerating them within this space takes tremendous energy which I do not have at the moment. Fuck.
fuck fuck fuck.
frustration-fuck.
fuck fuck fuck.
frustration-fuck.
. . . . . posted:||7:17 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
It seems that, given a moment's rest, I get screwed. Case in point: recent dieting triumphs and troubles. Ever since grandma pulled her crying bit about no one appreciating her (and an extra emphasis on her cooking as well) I've been forced by some sort of genetic obligation to completely consume whatever she cooks. Regardless of the obvious rancor. So, needless to say that I've been literally maintaining my 210 at the moment. I haven't been exercising as much as I did due to the sprained ankle during winter break (which has yet to fully heal) and the cluttered state of the garage. For almost an entire month there was no room to stretch out the equipment if I could even get to it in the first place. Just when I'm seriously losing the conviction I used to have, my friends start commenting on how much weight I lost (as in the "oh, I noticed before but I'm saying it right now" type). Not only that, some are even following my lead with a diet regime that's even more rigorous than mine.
In everything I do, the moment I lose conviction everyone surpasses me. In the end, no matter what I do I'm always left behind. In all things, art seems to be my only constant strongpoint while other areas like math and literature come in short bursts. I just wish that my critical eye could not be turned onto myself, that I could go through life without knowing all the flaws I have like others out there. Given, they're probably putting up a front as well, but still... I hate it.
Feeling completely inadequate at the moment. I'm impatient for results.
So I've resorted to drastic and albeit unhealthy means to cope.
Doesn't help that today I couldn't speak as well as I wished I could/ normally could yet I attempted conversation anyways.
Someone give me something to distract myself with? I cannot afford to think too much. Especially at this time.
And why the fuck is my grandma oblivious to all the hints I've dropped asking her to stop harassing me about fitness? She thinks that constant imposition of a thought or opinion upon a person will change their views... when really the exact opposite occurs. It's even been proven in several psychiatric studies that denying a child of something will make them yearn for it with more fevor.
I would sleep at the moment just to get away from my family. But I know that harboring these emotions will not do. Mere conversation, analytical reasoning through writing, and general ranting will not help my mood. I want to tell this to someone who hasn't heard all of it before. "A friend is someone who asks how your day was and waits for an answer." Sis' heard all this and now views it as a natural occurance. Mom would be sympathetic to an extent, but the fact that she's biased against her mother in law doesn't help my conscience. Dad would just think that I'm illogically placing blame upon my grandmother again and proceed to get pissed. Everyone who has read this blog for a while will jot it down as another occurance of misplaced and hyperbole anger. Even Matt I believe has grown accustom to these outbursts and takes them with a grain of salt.
I wish the computer had a headphone jack so I could blast the music and drown out the family without elliciting quams about the volume of "that noise." Fuck you all.
Yes, that was an exagerration.
... if you say anything, fuck you too. I'm pissed.
In everything I do, the moment I lose conviction everyone surpasses me. In the end, no matter what I do I'm always left behind. In all things, art seems to be my only constant strongpoint while other areas like math and literature come in short bursts. I just wish that my critical eye could not be turned onto myself, that I could go through life without knowing all the flaws I have like others out there. Given, they're probably putting up a front as well, but still... I hate it.
Feeling completely inadequate at the moment. I'm impatient for results.
So I've resorted to drastic and albeit unhealthy means to cope.
Doesn't help that today I couldn't speak as well as I wished I could/ normally could yet I attempted conversation anyways.
Someone give me something to distract myself with? I cannot afford to think too much. Especially at this time.
And why the fuck is my grandma oblivious to all the hints I've dropped asking her to stop harassing me about fitness? She thinks that constant imposition of a thought or opinion upon a person will change their views... when really the exact opposite occurs. It's even been proven in several psychiatric studies that denying a child of something will make them yearn for it with more fevor.
I would sleep at the moment just to get away from my family. But I know that harboring these emotions will not do. Mere conversation, analytical reasoning through writing, and general ranting will not help my mood. I want to tell this to someone who hasn't heard all of it before. "A friend is someone who asks how your day was and waits for an answer." Sis' heard all this and now views it as a natural occurance. Mom would be sympathetic to an extent, but the fact that she's biased against her mother in law doesn't help my conscience. Dad would just think that I'm illogically placing blame upon my grandmother again and proceed to get pissed. Everyone who has read this blog for a while will jot it down as another occurance of misplaced and hyperbole anger. Even Matt I believe has grown accustom to these outbursts and takes them with a grain of salt.
I wish the computer had a headphone jack so I could blast the music and drown out the family without elliciting quams about the volume of "that noise." Fuck you all.
Yes, that was an exagerration.
... if you say anything, fuck you too. I'm pissed.
. . . . . posted:||7:15 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I never thought that someone with a cold breath was humanly possible... till two minutes ago. While searching for airfare, grandma was practically exhaling putrid fumes into my face with a temperature that could freeze liquid nitrogen. God that was disgusting.
In fact, my entire family.. well, on my father's side... is disturbing/disgusting me. Dad, if you're reading this: STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
Yargh. I've been severely annoyed this entire day.
And no one to rant to at the moment.
Because gawd knows I can't rant while typing.
Well, not to the effect which I can achieve in actual conversation.
And I don't wanna watch the fucking People's Awards at the moment thank you very much mother.
In fact, my entire family.. well, on my father's side... is disturbing/disgusting me. Dad, if you're reading this: STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
Yargh. I've been severely annoyed this entire day.
And no one to rant to at the moment.
Because gawd knows I can't rant while typing.
Well, not to the effect which I can achieve in actual conversation.
And I don't wanna watch the fucking People's Awards at the moment thank you very much mother.
. . . . . posted:||9:42 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hmm... contemplating not going/singing at church today since I feel like complete shite. But alas, my conscience has gotten to me and my obligations must be met. Yargh.
Slept at 4:00am till 9:00am, then from 9:10am to 1:10pm. Disturbing dream concerning Sears, linens, china, and salad shooters. Don't ask.
It's sad that I can only find one webpage about Holcombe Waller besides his actual one. Especially since there're some great pictures on the official site... sigh.
Slept at 4:00am till 9:00am, then from 9:10am to 1:10pm. Disturbing dream concerning Sears, linens, china, and salad shooters. Don't ask.
It's sad that I can only find one webpage about Holcombe Waller besides his actual one. Especially since there're some great pictures on the official site... sigh.
. . . . . posted:||4:15 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
D&D Stats:
Str: 9
Int: 17
Wis: 17
Dex: 13
Con: 10
Chr: 14
Yeesh.
Run down of today's events: misconceptions cleared, mall-trotted, lesbian-kiss witness, vomiting marathon from downing fountain diet coke.
At least I got two books: Shoujo Kakumei Utena vol. 1 and Archangel by Sharon Shinn.
Now I need to memorize lines for english... among other homework items. Yargh.
Str: 9
Int: 17
Wis: 17
Dex: 13
Con: 10
Chr: 14
Yeesh.
Run down of today's events: misconceptions cleared, mall-trotted, lesbian-kiss witness, vomiting marathon from downing fountain diet coke.
At least I got two books: Shoujo Kakumei Utena vol. 1 and Archangel by Sharon Shinn.
Now I need to memorize lines for english... among other homework items. Yargh.
. . . . . posted:||6:59 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
grateful adj.
1. Appreciative of benefits received; thankful. 2. Expressing gratitude. 3. Affording pleasure or comfort; agreeable. –grateful·ly adv. –grateful·ness n.
gratitude n.
The state of being grateful; thankfulness.
apreciation n.
1. Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things. 2. A judgment or opinion, especially a favorable one. 3. An expression of gratitude. 4. Awareness or delicate perception, especially of aesthetic qualities or values. 5. A rise in value or price, especially over time.
happiness n.
A condition of supreme well-being and good spirits: beatitude, blessedness, bliss, cheer, cheerfulness, felicity, gladness, joy, joyfulness. See HAPPY.
content adj.
1. Desiring no more than what one has; satisfied. 2. Ready to accept or acquiesce; willing: She was content to step down after four years as chief executive. v. –tr. con·tent·ed, con·tent·ing, con·tents. To make content or satisfied: contented himself with one piece of cake. n. Contentment; satisfaction.
satisfaction n.
1. a. The fulfillment or gratification of a desire, a need, or an appetite. b. Pleasure or contentment derived from such gratification. c. A source or means of gratification. 2. a. Compensation for injury or loss; reparation. b. The opportunity to avenge a wrong; vindication. 3. Assurance beyond doubt or question; complete conviction.
.. Just trying to figure out how being thankful and aware of one's blessings is suppose to make one content. From my findings, I find nothing to substantiate that statement.
1. Appreciative of benefits received; thankful. 2. Expressing gratitude. 3. Affording pleasure or comfort; agreeable. –grateful·ly adv. –grateful·ness n.
gratitude n.
The state of being grateful; thankfulness.
apreciation n.
1. Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things. 2. A judgment or opinion, especially a favorable one. 3. An expression of gratitude. 4. Awareness or delicate perception, especially of aesthetic qualities or values. 5. A rise in value or price, especially over time.
happiness n.
A condition of supreme well-being and good spirits: beatitude, blessedness, bliss, cheer, cheerfulness, felicity, gladness, joy, joyfulness. See HAPPY.
content adj.
1. Desiring no more than what one has; satisfied. 2. Ready to accept or acquiesce; willing: She was content to step down after four years as chief executive. v. –tr. con·tent·ed, con·tent·ing, con·tents. To make content or satisfied: contented himself with one piece of cake. n. Contentment; satisfaction.
satisfaction n.
1. a. The fulfillment or gratification of a desire, a need, or an appetite. b. Pleasure or contentment derived from such gratification. c. A source or means of gratification. 2. a. Compensation for injury or loss; reparation. b. The opportunity to avenge a wrong; vindication. 3. Assurance beyond doubt or question; complete conviction.
.. Just trying to figure out how being thankful and aware of one's blessings is suppose to make one content. From my findings, I find nothing to substantiate that statement.
. . . . . posted:||11:41 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I should make a big big BIG (tottemo oookiiii!!!) banner saying 'thank you' to Paul for introducing me to the wonderful music of Holcombe Waller. Lately it's been getting me through some lonely nights.
In other news... yeah, the situation is getting BAD.
And I just learned that Heather, Matt's ex, is the same Taylor with whom I'm great friends with. Yargh, it's a far too small of a world.
I should start writing music again.
In other news... yeah, the situation is getting BAD.
And I just learned that Heather, Matt's ex, is the same Taylor with whom I'm great friends with. Yargh, it's a far too small of a world.
I should start writing music again.
. . . . . posted:||11:25 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hmm... sign that an infatuation is reaching some sort of scary zenith: dreams with the person in question go from steamy and disturbingly erotic to cuddling after a long day at work. The worse thing is that my overactive imagination makes all these things extremely realistic...
To quote about half of my friends: "Chuck, you need sex.... badly."
To quote about half of my friends: "Chuck, you need sex.... badly."
. . . . . posted:||10:38 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Ugh... sometimes I wish my dad didn't go to those dinner conferences. Parents came back home semi-smashed and were successful in downing two glasses of chianti before recording a message via DVCamera for the maternal grandparent's 50th anniversary (maligay ang bati). Needless to say, they looked drunk when they did it.
I spent almost an hour making some basil-roasted potatoes... they kinda turned into roasted potatoes in burgundy sauce except that I used the chianti instead of chatreuse or bordeaux. Still tastes good, but I believe that I myself am a bit drunk just from the sheer amount of wine used while cooking. If I wake up with a hangover I will kill.
But I digress... later father asks me to do several menial tasks which he himself is very well capable of doing. Naturally I get a bit ticked off, and when he starts insulting the music I'm listening to (the english version of "Quizas, quizas, quizas" by Doris Day) by singing along badly, my sour mood turned lethal.
Right now they're copying segments from the performances sis and I have had for the past three years to "show the family in the Philippines" (read:brag about how cultured and sophisticated we have raised our children to be) late into the night. Their presence downstairs at this time of the night is hindering me from taking my midnight stroll 'round the neighborhood. Pity. And the stars look so beautiful tonight as well...
I'd rant and rave about my trust issues, but I haven't talked to Matt at all today. Strangely enough, it doesn't seem right to go into explanation here about something without consulting home first.
Yargh. And I did call DJ, but his line was busy. Franky again? Oi vey...
"A million times I ask you, and then, I ask you over again. You only answer: 'perhaps perhaps perhaps'. If you can't make your mind up we'll never get started, and I don't want to wind up being cold and broken hearted... so if you really love me, say: 'yes', but you don't dear, confess. And please don't tell me: 'perhaps perhaps perhaps.' "
Baz Luhrman has a sensational ability to direct sensual dance segments (ex. the "behind the curtain" dance in Strictly Ballroom, the tango in Moulin Rouge, and the slight dance in Romeo+Juliet).
I spent almost an hour making some basil-roasted potatoes... they kinda turned into roasted potatoes in burgundy sauce except that I used the chianti instead of chatreuse or bordeaux. Still tastes good, but I believe that I myself am a bit drunk just from the sheer amount of wine used while cooking. If I wake up with a hangover I will kill.
But I digress... later father asks me to do several menial tasks which he himself is very well capable of doing. Naturally I get a bit ticked off, and when he starts insulting the music I'm listening to (the english version of "Quizas, quizas, quizas" by Doris Day) by singing along badly, my sour mood turned lethal.
Right now they're copying segments from the performances sis and I have had for the past three years to "show the family in the Philippines" (read:brag about how cultured and sophisticated we have raised our children to be) late into the night. Their presence downstairs at this time of the night is hindering me from taking my midnight stroll 'round the neighborhood. Pity. And the stars look so beautiful tonight as well...
I'd rant and rave about my trust issues, but I haven't talked to Matt at all today. Strangely enough, it doesn't seem right to go into explanation here about something without consulting home first.
Yargh. And I did call DJ, but his line was busy. Franky again? Oi vey...
"A million times I ask you, and then, I ask you over again. You only answer: 'perhaps perhaps perhaps'. If you can't make your mind up we'll never get started, and I don't want to wind up being cold and broken hearted... so if you really love me, say: 'yes', but you don't dear, confess. And please don't tell me: 'perhaps perhaps perhaps.' "
Baz Luhrman has a sensational ability to direct sensual dance segments (ex. the "behind the curtain" dance in Strictly Ballroom, the tango in Moulin Rouge, and the slight dance in Romeo+Juliet).
. . . . . posted:||1:36 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Summing up my mood and general discrepencies in one action: slamming myself very very hard against the walls in my room. No, they are not padded with rubber. No, I am not just saying this.
. . . . . posted:||8:44 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I effing hate having issues with trust. As much as I'm opening up these days, all the frustrations from my time in Arizona are still painfully present. Even now, I can't tell home everything. I'm afraid that he'll hate me or worse: question the validity of everything that I do.
It's not helping that my grandmother is attempting conversation with me at the moment. SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Fuck it. She's making me all the more frustrated.
It's not helping that my grandmother is attempting conversation with me at the moment. SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Fuck it. She's making me all the more frustrated.
. . . . . posted:||8:40 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
First, this was brought to my attention a few days back: BlogCon2002.
Now... ::unleashes the loudest primal scream possible by filipino lungs::
Now... ::unleashes the loudest primal scream possible by filipino lungs::
. . . . . posted:||8:07 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
....
Agrh! I'm frustrated again!
... over what I'm not quite sure....
but argh! I'm frustrated!
Agrh! I'm frustrated again!
... over what I'm not quite sure....
but argh! I'm frustrated!
. . . . . posted:||8:39 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
::sigh:: Rogers and Hammerstein, you are my broadway GODS! Ahem... currently been on a showtune/broadway binge of Flower Drum Song, The King and I, My Fair Lady, Oklahoma (yes yes, hard to believe I'd like that one), Cinderella, Hi Lily, etc. Naturally the best parts of each are all the dream sequences with dancing.
Guilty pleasure: Ferrero Rocher
Funny occurance during Art: a guy comes in during the lesson and talks with Ms. Treat for a few minutes and then leaves. When he first came inside, you could literally hear all the girls perk up. As soon the door closes when he leaves, everyone's asks about who he is. Rather hilarious.
Oh, and if the actor who plays Legalass from Lord of the Rings is reading this... ::makes a telephone and mouths "call me"::
I should be calling DJ sometime tonight... but it's a bit past proper now. Besides, I'm too often on the phone with Matt during primetime tv.
Karen-san's sick. ;_;
I have a tabarro! ^_^
Guilty pleasure: Ferrero Rocher
Funny occurance during Art: a guy comes in during the lesson and talks with Ms. Treat for a few minutes and then leaves. When he first came inside, you could literally hear all the girls perk up. As soon the door closes when he leaves, everyone's asks about who he is. Rather hilarious.
Oh, and if the actor who plays Legalass from Lord of the Rings is reading this... ::makes a telephone and mouths "call me"::
I should be calling DJ sometime tonight... but it's a bit past proper now. Besides, I'm too often on the phone with Matt during primetime tv.
Karen-san's sick. ;_;
I have a tabarro! ^_^
. . . . . posted:||11:56 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I'm riding the roller coaster of emotions at the moment.
Wanted to go outside for a walk... but it's a bit cold.
I can see the stars out right now. It's beautiful.
And I'm completely unsure of myself, though I don't know why.
Rica, I shall annoy you with civilities tomorrow. Especially since you left the lunch table before I could show you my FRUiTS book.
Yes, life is coming in disjointed bits.
Stupid people confusing me...
Narh.
Narh narh hardy har har narh.
I want to scream my lungs out at the moment, but tis late and the neighbors would call the police.
Narh.
I hate curfew.
Narh.
Boku tachi wa...
In my life...
... You have only been...
Nice to know...
... You're not alone at the moment are you?...
fuck
I miss the music of 1995.
Help me.
I'm stuck singing love songs and no one to sing them too.
Which is better since I'd probably do rather poorly.
But still... no focus for my affection.
. . .
Word of complete relevange: maudlin
Wanted to go outside for a walk... but it's a bit cold.
I can see the stars out right now. It's beautiful.
And I'm completely unsure of myself, though I don't know why.
Rica, I shall annoy you with civilities tomorrow. Especially since you left the lunch table before I could show you my FRUiTS book.
Yes, life is coming in disjointed bits.
Stupid people confusing me...
Narh.
Narh narh hardy har har narh.
I want to scream my lungs out at the moment, but tis late and the neighbors would call the police.
Narh.
I hate curfew.
Narh.
Boku tachi wa...
In my life...
... You have only been...
Nice to know...
... You're not alone at the moment are you?...
fuck
I miss the music of 1995.
Help me.
I'm stuck singing love songs and no one to sing them too.
Which is better since I'd probably do rather poorly.
But still... no focus for my affection.
. . .
Word of complete relevange: maudlin
. . . . . posted:||11:50 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
... paper... finished...
::collapses::
::collapses::
. . . . . posted:||2:05 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
SARAH: CALL ME! IT'S BEEN FAR TOO LONG SINCE LAST WE TALKED!!!
... I really need a shout-outs page a la A'Lyn's.
Anyways, just felt nostalgic/ wanted to stall for more time and was reading a few of Sarah's entries from summerschool. Ah, the carefree days.
It's frightening how so much can change within the span of half a year, is it not?
... damn I sound far too old and regretful for my age. -_-;;
And Rica-sama, email/IM me more often! I miss talking to you and Leah as often as I used to last year! ;_;
Hmm... I've been considering something recently. Me and DJ? Possibly?
Well, the boy does flirt a lot... I just never notice that it's flirting till Nick pointed it out. And I feel bad for letting winter break come with a sour/stale note. Hrm... narh narh narh.
I dunno. My mind is scatter-brained at the moment.
Maybe it's the idea of going back to the daily routine that's finally hitting home?
Hrm... nah.
Now I need to start planning for spring break stuff.
But first I really need to work on my paper.
Narh.
... I really need a shout-outs page a la A'Lyn's.
Anyways, just felt nostalgic/ wanted to stall for more time and was reading a few of Sarah's entries from summerschool. Ah, the carefree days.
It's frightening how so much can change within the span of half a year, is it not?
... damn I sound far too old and regretful for my age. -_-;;
And Rica-sama, email/IM me more often! I miss talking to you and Leah as often as I used to last year! ;_;
Hmm... I've been considering something recently. Me and DJ? Possibly?
Well, the boy does flirt a lot... I just never notice that it's flirting till Nick pointed it out. And I feel bad for letting winter break come with a sour/stale note. Hrm... narh narh narh.
I dunno. My mind is scatter-brained at the moment.
Maybe it's the idea of going back to the daily routine that's finally hitting home?
Hrm... nah.
Now I need to start planning for spring break stuff.
But first I really need to work on my paper.
Narh.
. . . . . posted:||1:09 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
A little comment/opinion to the duck's question of why human hope always focuses on one individual. Taking a line from Wild Arms 2, a saviour is basically a human sacrifice to better the lives of all (and taken in that sense, the figure of Christ fits perfectly)(then again, so does Buddha)(and Lucretia in a way as well).
The idea of a saviour is completely enamored into the human psyche and consciousness known as culture because we always associate a saviour figure as some sort of Adonis, the ideal that all should strive for. Only recently has humanity thought of the development of the entire race as a whole rather than stemming from one source.
Either that, or people don't feel like combining efforts to better their situation. Rather than exert all that energy and effort on an endeavor which in itself is risky, people would rather wait for one person with the right attributes to gather and lead.
It's true that people like to be ordered around. Even though we all have our own ambitions and self-awareness, we still cannot and do not know how to function as completely separate units. Afterall, humans are social creatures.
.... okay, enough stalling. I have a paper to finish. (still)
The idea of a saviour is completely enamored into the human psyche and consciousness known as culture because we always associate a saviour figure as some sort of Adonis, the ideal that all should strive for. Only recently has humanity thought of the development of the entire race as a whole rather than stemming from one source.
Either that, or people don't feel like combining efforts to better their situation. Rather than exert all that energy and effort on an endeavor which in itself is risky, people would rather wait for one person with the right attributes to gather and lead.
It's true that people like to be ordered around. Even though we all have our own ambitions and self-awareness, we still cannot and do not know how to function as completely separate units. Afterall, humans are social creatures.
.... okay, enough stalling. I have a paper to finish. (still)
. . . . . posted:||12:26 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
New mantra: Love is possible.
Yes yes, I know I'm a fucking pendulum.
And again, thanks to Matt I'm learning how important friendships can be.
Although... I feel jilted. I always envisioned having extremely involving conversations with and only with my one true love... and I'm having them with one of my friends.
So I get the feeling of some sort of deep connection and the satisfaction one feels after a challenging and exhilarating conversation, but none of the affection and sex I thought would follow.
... No, I am not still hooked on Matt.
Afterall, once you get to know someone personally it's hard to think of them sexually.
I'm just focusing on my exploration of the need for friendship because I'm currently non-infatuated with anyone in particular.
And no, the person featured in the slew of erotic dreams I've been having doesn't count.
Yes yes, I know I'm a fucking pendulum.
And again, thanks to Matt I'm learning how important friendships can be.
Although... I feel jilted. I always envisioned having extremely involving conversations with and only with my one true love... and I'm having them with one of my friends.
So I get the feeling of some sort of deep connection and the satisfaction one feels after a challenging and exhilarating conversation, but none of the affection and sex I thought would follow.
... No, I am not still hooked on Matt.
Afterall, once you get to know someone personally it's hard to think of them sexually.
I'm just focusing on my exploration of the need for friendship because I'm currently non-infatuated with anyone in particular.
And no, the person featured in the slew of erotic dreams I've been having doesn't count.
. . . . . posted:||12:11 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
New mantra: Love is trite.
That explains why I've been in my mood for the longest time.
This realization that my idea of love isn't what can really happen. Not in real life.
Everyone talks about the power of love.
But all the love I see is just people clinging to others because they don't want the trouble of finding others.
Or it's lust posing as love.
Take for instance, chivalry.
The code is excellent.
But the aim is to ultimately bed your lady-fair.
It's bullshit.
Love. Is. Bullshit.
And nothing more pathetic than a hopeless romantic who is disillusioned.
That explains why I've been in my mood for the longest time.
This realization that my idea of love isn't what can really happen. Not in real life.
Everyone talks about the power of love.
But all the love I see is just people clinging to others because they don't want the trouble of finding others.
Or it's lust posing as love.
Take for instance, chivalry.
The code is excellent.
But the aim is to ultimately bed your lady-fair.
It's bullshit.
Love. Is. Bullshit.
And nothing more pathetic than a hopeless romantic who is disillusioned.
. . . . . posted:||10:45 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Really, no self control.
I'm only one page away from finishing my paper, and I just spent the last half hour re-arranging a playlist for my new favorite J-pop/rock artist Do As Infinity.
Now if only I could find more Wyolica songs...
Oh, and Matt's still stressing. How funny.
I'm only one page away from finishing my paper, and I just spent the last half hour re-arranging a playlist for my new favorite J-pop/rock artist Do As Infinity.
Now if only I could find more Wyolica songs...
Oh, and Matt's still stressing. How funny.
. . . . . posted:||3:58 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Diversion 1: watch "The Scent of Green Papaya"
Diversion 2: read an email that's the perfect example of tag-lish (tagalog and english):
"hello just rescieved your mail. nakakaawa naman kayo. wala na ba kayong makain diyan? buti pa rito maraming makakain ditong pollution at smog. kamusta na kayo riyan? bilib talaga ako sa mga kids mo ang gagaling specially sa music. ate tess and ve are already here and they have spent with us the holiday season. si ate tess dumating noong jan. 01..."
Good lordy. o.0
Diversion 2: read an email that's the perfect example of tag-lish (tagalog and english):
"hello just rescieved your mail. nakakaawa naman kayo. wala na ba kayong makain diyan? buti pa rito maraming makakain ditong pollution at smog. kamusta na kayo riyan? bilib talaga ako sa mga kids mo ang gagaling specially sa music. ate tess and ve are already here and they have spent with us the holiday season. si ate tess dumating noong jan. 01..."
Good lordy. o.0
. . . . . posted:||11:12 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
... I have no self control what so ever.
Fell asleep last night while writing my paper.
Which means I have only a few hours or so to do it today.
Shit.
Fell asleep last night while writing my paper.
Which means I have only a few hours or so to do it today.
Shit.
. . . . . posted:||10:14 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Just checked my results from the proficiency testing a couple of months back.
Satisfactory results in all areas except for my understanding of 'word meaning' and 'word in context'. Which makes no sense that my sis scored higher since we both know that I have the higher vocabulary. -_-
And I should study a bit for the quickly approaching faux-SAT test but... naw.
Satisfactory results in all areas except for my understanding of 'word meaning' and 'word in context'. Which makes no sense that my sis scored higher since we both know that I have the higher vocabulary. -_-
And I should study a bit for the quickly approaching faux-SAT test but... naw.
. . . . . posted:||11:52 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hrm. Matt wants this movie night thing to be weekly. I say something like monthly, or biweekly. With the stress of the upcoming second half of school however....
The movie night 'twas fun. I was glad that I didn't bring any cooking ingredients since everyone decided to get food from Pick Up Stix. Debated about which movie to go watch since we had enough time to squeeze in two movies or so. Eventually the selections were knocked down to Dogma, Memento, and A Knight's Tale.
First mishap of the night was the VCR promptly eating my VHS of Dogma (knew I should have gotten the DVD) so that movie was out of the question. I brought along Silent Hill 2 to show everyone the Karen-esque character within the game. Shortly after playing around and showing them Angela's swan song, Karen was thoroughly scared. Memento was definitely out of the question at that point.
Food came just as we started on A Knight's Tale, and for the first half of the movie no one paid much attention. Food was yummy, but I had to go to the bathroom and throw up half of it since the combination of over-eating a bit and my current mood didn't do much to settle my stomach.
Matt tried to help with my mood by biting my wrist... except that a) it wasn't on my favorite spot (neck, throat, and/or shoulder) and b) he didn't bite hard enough. Didn't even leave any marks or indentations! Nay, only Christen and Flavey can bite with sufficient force. And I doubt that I will be able to get out of this mood till I'm properly bitten.
Nearing the end of the movie Matt's attention-starved cat came up and got really comfy on Karen's leg. Loads of fun petting the oh-so-flat one. (seriously, his cat would be fat if only it had more meat on it)(think how Richard Simons looked like after losing too much weight in a short period of time)(speaking of which, hope that doesn't happen to me!)(anyways...)
After the movie ended there wasn't enough time to go watch another movie (only 45 min. till everyone's ride came) so we watched a few deleted scenes from the movie and I showed off my level of progress on FFX. Hehehe.
Now I have an entire night ahead of me to finish my paper because I'll be damned if I have to work on it during daylight!
Oh, and on another interesting note: the female blacksmith from the movie was one of the leads for an equally funny movie from England: "Virtual Sexuality."
Ahem... anyways...
The movie night 'twas fun. I was glad that I didn't bring any cooking ingredients since everyone decided to get food from Pick Up Stix. Debated about which movie to go watch since we had enough time to squeeze in two movies or so. Eventually the selections were knocked down to Dogma, Memento, and A Knight's Tale.
First mishap of the night was the VCR promptly eating my VHS of Dogma (knew I should have gotten the DVD) so that movie was out of the question. I brought along Silent Hill 2 to show everyone the Karen-esque character within the game. Shortly after playing around and showing them Angela's swan song, Karen was thoroughly scared. Memento was definitely out of the question at that point.
Food came just as we started on A Knight's Tale, and for the first half of the movie no one paid much attention. Food was yummy, but I had to go to the bathroom and throw up half of it since the combination of over-eating a bit and my current mood didn't do much to settle my stomach.
Matt tried to help with my mood by biting my wrist... except that a) it wasn't on my favorite spot (neck, throat, and/or shoulder) and b) he didn't bite hard enough. Didn't even leave any marks or indentations! Nay, only Christen and Flavey can bite with sufficient force. And I doubt that I will be able to get out of this mood till I'm properly bitten.
Nearing the end of the movie Matt's attention-starved cat came up and got really comfy on Karen's leg. Loads of fun petting the oh-so-flat one. (seriously, his cat would be fat if only it had more meat on it)(think how Richard Simons looked like after losing too much weight in a short period of time)(speaking of which, hope that doesn't happen to me!)(anyways...)
After the movie ended there wasn't enough time to go watch another movie (only 45 min. till everyone's ride came) so we watched a few deleted scenes from the movie and I showed off my level of progress on FFX. Hehehe.
Now I have an entire night ahead of me to finish my paper because I'll be damned if I have to work on it during daylight!
Oh, and on another interesting note: the female blacksmith from the movie was one of the leads for an equally funny movie from England: "Virtual Sexuality."
Ahem... anyways...
. . . . . posted:||11:49 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Current situation: still planning what I should cook given the allotted time while listening to my grandma.
She's ranting and raving about how she feels like a maid because all she ever does is cook and clean. And yet, if we opt to do the former, she becomes enraged... as enraged as any old filipino woman can get anyways. She's threatening to stay in the Philippines when she goes to visit. Albeit I have a tendency to block out half the things she says, this is a bit of an overreaction to the new dishwasher we're getting. I mean really...
As much as I love her, she can be so unreasonable.
She's ranting and raving about how she feels like a maid because all she ever does is cook and clean. And yet, if we opt to do the former, she becomes enraged... as enraged as any old filipino woman can get anyways. She's threatening to stay in the Philippines when she goes to visit. Albeit I have a tendency to block out half the things she says, this is a bit of an overreaction to the new dishwasher we're getting. I mean really...
As much as I love her, she can be so unreasonable.
. . . . . posted:||4:49 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Update time.
Paper is progressing superbly considering I have scarcely ample information (how much can you really research on Neurospora and alcohol's preservative properties without running into the same information again and again?). All I need now is to write the bibliography, three more pages, a 250 word abstract, and I have only tomorrow to do it. Yeesh. Well, guess I could work on it a little bit right now...
To A'Lyn: it's an even day.
Sounds like I shall be making dinner at the movie-night over at Matt's place. It's been a while since I've tried my hand at cooking, and his facilities and ingredients are more or less superb so I do believe that I'll have a fun time. ^_^ Nothing too fancy though, just a lite pasta dinner. Just in case though... I'm bringing some of my own ingredients.
And... well, Matt managed to talk to me at a bad time last night. Let's just say that the Scorpio side of me came through and it was NOT fun.
.... okay, a little bit.
Paper is progressing superbly considering I have scarcely ample information (how much can you really research on Neurospora and alcohol's preservative properties without running into the same information again and again?). All I need now is to write the bibliography, three more pages, a 250 word abstract, and I have only tomorrow to do it. Yeesh. Well, guess I could work on it a little bit right now...
To A'Lyn: it's an even day.
Sounds like I shall be making dinner at the movie-night over at Matt's place. It's been a while since I've tried my hand at cooking, and his facilities and ingredients are more or less superb so I do believe that I'll have a fun time. ^_^ Nothing too fancy though, just a lite pasta dinner. Just in case though... I'm bringing some of my own ingredients.
And... well, Matt managed to talk to me at a bad time last night. Let's just say that the Scorpio side of me came through and it was NOT fun.
.... okay, a little bit.
. . . . . posted:||4:05 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So, it's currently 11:00am, I've downed an entire pot yet I still crave coffee. I'm beginning to suspect that I'm developing an tolerance for caffiene that's so high it's bordering on scary.
Art assignment (both the pictures and the drawing) finished. Still need to work on the sketch that I owe a certain someone. Still need to start my paper which is beginning to sound extremely easy to write. Also, it's only a rough draft so I guess I had been over-reacting before. Still... if it's a rough draft why are we checking for grammar and mechanics as a grade? o.0
Ever since these I could feel em again, my collar bones have a habit of aching profusely at any given moment. Like right now.
Studying for the PSAT/SAT/ACT tests is candy-wrapper hell. At least I still have almost a year before I take the SAT and a year after that for the ACT. Still... could be worse. I could be in Japan where I have to test to get into a good highschool.
It's Friday. Less than three days till school starts up again. Yeesh.
I think I procrastinate with the entire finish-re-ducttaping-the-backpack and re-organizing my folders for each of my class. Well, at least I have English first thing in the morning which means that I get to work on my mask for the Greek chorus... still, even period block scheduel means that I have chemistry as well. Yargh.
And my toes are cold again.
Art assignment (both the pictures and the drawing) finished. Still need to work on the sketch that I owe a certain someone. Still need to start my paper which is beginning to sound extremely easy to write. Also, it's only a rough draft so I guess I had been over-reacting before. Still... if it's a rough draft why are we checking for grammar and mechanics as a grade? o.0
Ever since these I could feel em again, my collar bones have a habit of aching profusely at any given moment. Like right now.
Studying for the PSAT/SAT/ACT tests is candy-wrapper hell. At least I still have almost a year before I take the SAT and a year after that for the ACT. Still... could be worse. I could be in Japan where I have to test to get into a good highschool.
It's Friday. Less than three days till school starts up again. Yeesh.
I think I procrastinate with the entire finish-re-ducttaping-the-backpack and re-organizing my folders for each of my class. Well, at least I have English first thing in the morning which means that I get to work on my mask for the Greek chorus... still, even period block scheduel means that I have chemistry as well. Yargh.
And my toes are cold again.
. . . . . posted:||11:09 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
More self-portrait candidates:
That whole endeavor felt like I was trying to make bad amateur porn with a webcam. o.0
Taking pictures of myself is doing wonders for my self-esteem, dearies.
That whole endeavor felt like I was trying to make bad amateur porn with a webcam. o.0
Taking pictures of myself is doing wonders for my self-esteem, dearies.
. . . . . posted:||11:13 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Some possiblities for the self-portrait assignment I have coming up:
Thus the reason why I'm not looking forward to this assignment. -_-;;
Thus the reason why I'm not looking forward to this assignment. -_-;;
. . . . . posted:||7:01 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
... Good lordy, someone turn off WinAmp! I've been listening to the Hymn of Faith/ Song of Prayer from FFX (all 12 different versions) for the past hour.
. . . . . posted:||6:03 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So, new layout. Managed to avoid another day of work doing this (along with watching Oh Brother Where Art Thou? and sleeping all day long) and I love the filters on PSP. ^_^
Art assignment is halfway finished. Paper has at least an outline. Did a value study for the painting I've been planning to do and it looks like it would be successful.
Bad dreams though.
Art assignment is halfway finished. Paper has at least an outline. Did a value study for the painting I've been planning to do and it looks like it would be successful.
Bad dreams though.
. . . . . posted:||5:01 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
You are Sailor Pluto!
You are mysterious, and powerful.
You are the keeper of time, and though you
posses the power to stop time... if you did, it
would kill you. Quite a responsibilty.
You're probably rather fond of garnet.
You fight with the power of death and time!
Take the Which Sailor Are You? Quiz!
...created by Kenzie.
Figures.
. . . . . posted:||3:36 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Recently getting into the vocal stylings of Mr. Rufus Wainwright. Got a hold of his first album some time ago but never took the time to listen to the lyrics. Just now I've been reading some of the background info about several of the songs that Wainwright wrote himself, and now the songs make much more sense. The sorrows are all the little bit more sour. The moments when his voice dips down low are now finally understood...
Yes, I'm feeling broody at the moment. That would explain getting teary-eyed from listening to music, wanting to reread "Dream Boy," and the new layout that's halfway from completion.
Oh, and I barely touched my art project. Need to clean it up some more, but I can't do that till there's daylight 'lest I want to attempt bullshiting the lighting on the items.
Still have to take my photo for the self portrait coming up. I seriously do not want to paint my face.
Yes, I'm feeling broody at the moment. That would explain getting teary-eyed from listening to music, wanting to reread "Dream Boy," and the new layout that's halfway from completion.
Oh, and I barely touched my art project. Need to clean it up some more, but I can't do that till there's daylight 'lest I want to attempt bullshiting the lighting on the items.
Still have to take my photo for the self portrait coming up. I seriously do not want to paint my face.
. . . . . posted:||4:51 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Email survey from Sarah:
LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
Room, house, parents, sis, grandma, non-enforced restrictions, practical freedom as long as the grandma doesn't know and it's inside the house.
WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Currently inbetween books, but I've been meaning to read "The Invention of Love" or "American Gods" over again.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Mouse pad? What's that? All I have is a sheet of paper.
FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Monopoly... for all of elementary school it was Dreamphone. o.0
FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
XY and ARTNews
FAVORITE SMELL
Cologne on the collar of a shirt. ^_^
LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?
Antiseptic.
FAVORITE SOUND?
Heartbeat.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Loneliness and the sense that people think lowly of you.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
I've been known to stay in a state of half-sleep for hours on end watching the minutes on the clock change.
FAVORITE COLOR?
Red, black, and/or anything irridescent.
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
One if I'm expecting a call, two if I have to get it, three if I have to get up from the computer to do it.
FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
Caspian and/or Juliet.
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?
I used to say "love" but I'm questioning my motives.
FAVORITE FOODS?
Can't really say... although I adore tiramisu a lot.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Chocolate. (seeing Chocolat pretty much secured that one for me)
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Depends where and what time of the day/night.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Nope. I grope large ones incessantly and have them on the small stand built into my bed though.
STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
Cool with a chance of freezing.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
The first family car was an old Volvo... I have yet to get one of my own (the Civic is sis')
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE...
I'll save this question for when the love of my life dies before I do.
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Anything that's sweet (ex. champagne, rum, pina colada)
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Aquarian with a Scorpio moon.
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
I've tried to avoid that horrid vegetable since middle school.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Professional artist making studio art that's true to my ideals and still manages to sell for millions. (hey, I can dream, right?)
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR?
Red! And not the natural looking copper shade that people (ex. Nicole Kidman) naturally have. I'm talking punk/fire hydrant red.
EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Define "love"... but for the sake of honest, I thought I was but I'm re-evaluating those 6 months of my life.
FAVORITE MOVIE?
The Cell, The Matrix, Moulin Rouge, Utena, The Big Hit, practically anything with Ewan McGregor in it, etc.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
... riiiight. Like I have the discipline to learn the "proper" way to something that's almost as personal as one's own handwriting style.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
A dead hooker... oh wait, that's INSIDE the mattress... (if you didn't get that last one, it's from an urban legend)... otherwise, a colony of dust bunnies.
FAVORITE NUMBER?
16,21, and 49
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
If I did watch... it would be either tennis, fencing, or any men's swimming/gymnastics event.
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
Oi, Sarah. Sure, you can be a complete ditz/spaz/primadonna/etc. sometimes, but atleast when you do it it's cute... In other words, it hasn't annoyed me yet. So that's good.
PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Probably no one seeing how I'm posting this ^_^;;
LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
Room, house, parents, sis, grandma, non-enforced restrictions, practical freedom as long as the grandma doesn't know and it's inside the house.
WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Currently inbetween books, but I've been meaning to read "The Invention of Love" or "American Gods" over again.
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Mouse pad? What's that? All I have is a sheet of paper.
FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Monopoly... for all of elementary school it was Dreamphone. o.0
FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
XY and ARTNews
FAVORITE SMELL
Cologne on the collar of a shirt. ^_^
LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?
Antiseptic.
FAVORITE SOUND?
Heartbeat.
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Loneliness and the sense that people think lowly of you.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP?
I've been known to stay in a state of half-sleep for hours on end watching the minutes on the clock change.
FAVORITE COLOR?
Red, black, and/or anything irridescent.
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
One if I'm expecting a call, two if I have to get it, three if I have to get up from the computer to do it.
FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
Caspian and/or Juliet.
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?
I used to say "love" but I'm questioning my motives.
FAVORITE FOODS?
Can't really say... although I adore tiramisu a lot.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Chocolate. (seeing Chocolat pretty much secured that one for me)
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Depends where and what time of the day/night.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Nope. I grope large ones incessantly and have them on the small stand built into my bed though.
STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
Cool with a chance of freezing.
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
The first family car was an old Volvo... I have yet to get one of my own (the Civic is sis')
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE...
I'll save this question for when the love of my life dies before I do.
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Anything that's sweet (ex. champagne, rum, pina colada)
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Aquarian with a Scorpio moon.
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
I've tried to avoid that horrid vegetable since middle school.
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Professional artist making studio art that's true to my ideals and still manages to sell for millions. (hey, I can dream, right?)
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR?
Red! And not the natural looking copper shade that people (ex. Nicole Kidman) naturally have. I'm talking punk/fire hydrant red.
EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Define "love"... but for the sake of honest, I thought I was but I'm re-evaluating those 6 months of my life.
FAVORITE MOVIE?
The Cell, The Matrix, Moulin Rouge, Utena, The Big Hit, practically anything with Ewan McGregor in it, etc.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
... riiiight. Like I have the discipline to learn the "proper" way to something that's almost as personal as one's own handwriting style.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
A dead hooker... oh wait, that's INSIDE the mattress... (if you didn't get that last one, it's from an urban legend)... otherwise, a colony of dust bunnies.
FAVORITE NUMBER?
16,21, and 49
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
If I did watch... it would be either tennis, fencing, or any men's swimming/gymnastics event.
SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
Oi, Sarah. Sure, you can be a complete ditz/spaz/primadonna/etc. sometimes, but atleast when you do it it's cute... In other words, it hasn't annoyed me yet. So that's good.
PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Probably no one seeing how I'm posting this ^_^;;
. . . . . posted:||3:17 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Tarot cards are the weirdest things. Given, there's no real power in them unless the reader and the questioner both deeply believe and trust in the principles of La Fortuna. During the movie-marathon (consisting of "10 Things I Hate About You" and "A Life Less Ordinary") I decided to do a tarot reading just for shits and giggles. Funny thing is, the cards played out exactly to current circumstances. The couple in question just had a general reading (the questions, which proved to be even more unusual/entertaining) and the cards suggested that one of them isn't telling the other some doubts which they have. 'Course, couldn't tell em that so I just redirected it to one of their families.
And Karen, thank you for revealing that bit of yourself to sis and I. You don't know how much it means to me that you'd disclose such personal information.
Everyone finally found out exactly who I was crushing on at the moment. (I had only planned to show Karen and/or Matt, but peer pressure was severe) When I showed his picture, one even said "Oh, EVERYONE has a crush on him!" Hearing that makes the idea a little less appealing to me (a la Lizzy telling me about everyone's infatuation with DJ) but I'm still plagued by dreams. And it's been a while since I've been able to remember any dream... but I don't want to remember these new ones.
They are too graphic, too real.
That's the reason why this whole ordeal's been eating me up inside.
And that is why I didn't mention that part while at the party.
. . .
In other news, I need to get to work on my school work. I dedicate today for my art assignment, and the remainder of the week for that paper I must write.
Gech.
And Karen, thank you for revealing that bit of yourself to sis and I. You don't know how much it means to me that you'd disclose such personal information.
Everyone finally found out exactly who I was crushing on at the moment. (I had only planned to show Karen and/or Matt, but peer pressure was severe) When I showed his picture, one even said "Oh, EVERYONE has a crush on him!" Hearing that makes the idea a little less appealing to me (a la Lizzy telling me about everyone's infatuation with DJ) but I'm still plagued by dreams. And it's been a while since I've been able to remember any dream... but I don't want to remember these new ones.
They are too graphic, too real.
That's the reason why this whole ordeal's been eating me up inside.
And that is why I didn't mention that part while at the party.
. . .
In other news, I need to get to work on my school work. I dedicate today for my art assignment, and the remainder of the week for that paper I must write.
Gech.
. . . . . posted:||11:07 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Soo... What have I been doing all New Year's day you may ask? Basically playing FFX (beat the game too)(mark of a truly well directed story: the ending made me cry) and now a movie marathon over at Karen's.
Can't say much but... yeah, the current obsession is eating me from inside out. Seeing the things that couples do while on the couch watching movies doesn't help me much either.
Can't say much but... yeah, the current obsession is eating me from inside out. Seeing the things that couples do while on the couch watching movies doesn't help me much either.
. . . . . posted:||8:22 PM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Taking a page from Steven and...:
"Hey everyone, just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year and I hope this year will be good for you. And remember to keep those resolutions. here's that New Year's song. anyway, Merry Christmas (belated) and a HAPPY NEW YEAR! I wish you all good luck!
Love,
~Alanna~
P.S. last e-mail of this year :)
Auld Lang Syne
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
And here's a hand, my trusty friend
And gie's a hand o' thine
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne"
First email of the New Year.
Oh, and I finished reading Pastoral, which again strangely applies to Matt's situation.
And Tyler's cousin John was a bit scared of the abundance of... erm, non-straight people:
J: "Hey, you're straight too right?"
Ch :"... um...."
C: "He's gay."
J: "Oh..." ::backs away a bit::
Ch: "Oh honestly! I promise not to jump your bones."
J: "Good, you'd better."
Ch: ::smirk::
Hehehe... I'm sorry I tortured the boy so... but whatever I did Tyler did worse! Well, besides the perverse comments I found myself making at any given moment. And I'll have to thank Tyler for the little penis-shaped eraser.
I was a bit upset that no one knew the words to Auld Lang Syne... so I just "moo'd" while dancing around with sparklers lit. And Nick tried to whip me with his pearl necklace when I broke one of the links. But the mini-poppers were nice. ^_^
No champagne though. Pity.
"Hey everyone, just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year and I hope this year will be good for you. And remember to keep those resolutions. here's that New Year's song. anyway, Merry Christmas (belated) and a HAPPY NEW YEAR! I wish you all good luck!
Love,
~Alanna~
P.S. last e-mail of this year
Auld Lang Syne
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
And here's a hand, my trusty friend
And gie's a hand o' thine
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne"
First email of the New Year.
Oh, and I finished reading Pastoral, which again strangely applies to Matt's situation.
And Tyler's cousin John was a bit scared of the abundance of... erm, non-straight people:
J: "Hey, you're straight too right?"
Ch :"... um...."
C: "He's gay."
J: "Oh..." ::backs away a bit::
Ch: "Oh honestly! I promise not to jump your bones."
J: "Good, you'd better."
Ch: ::smirk::
Hehehe... I'm sorry I tortured the boy so... but whatever I did Tyler did worse! Well, besides the perverse comments I found myself making at any given moment. And I'll have to thank Tyler for the little penis-shaped eraser.
I was a bit upset that no one knew the words to Auld Lang Syne... so I just "moo'd" while dancing around with sparklers lit. And Nick tried to whip me with his pearl necklace when I broke one of the links. But the mini-poppers were nice. ^_^
No champagne though. Pity.
. . . . . posted:||1:13 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Happy New Year!"
Party over at Mary's was fun. Mainly just hanging out (and a multitude of naughty/morbid jokes) followed by going down the park with several packs of sparklers to watch the downtown casino fireworks.
And Matt's more of a pendulum than I thought he was.
So, am I sleepy yet? No. Effing. Way. Hehehe.
Party over at Mary's was fun. Mainly just hanging out (and a multitude of naughty/morbid jokes) followed by going down the park with several packs of sparklers to watch the downtown casino fireworks.
And Matt's more of a pendulum than I thought he was.
So, am I sleepy yet? No. Effing. Way. Hehehe.
. . . . . posted:||12:49 AM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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